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In the land of entitlement Narcissists get to act like Baby Huey, lofty Kings and hungry predators and we adjust to their temperament by pacifying the wailing baby so it won’t have a tantrum; obeying his or her majesty so we won’t be banished from court; and backing down to the vicious predator so we won't be attacked.
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Breaking Free: A Way Out For Adult Children of Narcissists
Breaking Free: A Way Out For Adult Children of Narcissists
wow.
ReplyDeletei put the number at 10% too. that 4% number is bs, made to make it seem like evil is actually not among us. that kind of complacency kills me. some people really are bad. and their behaviors really are destructive.
10% seems about right. there's at least one in every place/situation you go to. like i had one in my last job. he was a big condescending baby of a man and a horrible father. it's just that these people are so often given a chance, out of 'common human decency'. it surprises me how complacent people are and how they play along, even if they talk shit about em behind their back. i can't stand narcissistic people. they just stink. i can't play along with them. they're bafoons.
Great article. I have been studying narcism/sociopath for quite a few years, after learning that my partner was one. You absolutely NAILED everything. X partner swore to me singer was X nationality and we argued for ever (because you know how they love to argue). He was even arguing with our 10 year old daughter over it. Turned out he was false and couldn't accept it for the life of him. Stay away from these people. I wish there was more information openly available about these people and they were exposed for the true vile creatures that they are! Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteJulie, I hear you. Ugh! Narcissists are NEVER wrong so they will NEVER apologize. I can't stand being around them. Unfortunately, being obnoxious know it alls is the least of our worries when it comes to narcissists. Hopefully, oneday there will be Public Service Announcements warning people to spot them and stay away from them.
ReplyDeleteGreat read!
ReplyDeleteSpot on! I made the "mistake" of laughing at something Mr. Know it all said that sounded ridiculous to me. I was then bombarded via email, which contained internet links to prove me wrong. Unfortuanately, he's my brother-in-law,so I have to see him every week at the family dinner. My husaband realsizes that his brother is impossible. He commented that it's pretty sad that his brother could take the time to send email to prove a point, but when my sister dies last week, there was not an email, a phone call or any other kind of acknowlegement.
ReplyDeleteAlso love the example of just gettting back Africa. When I got back from Hawaii last month, there was not one question or comment, instead the dinner conversation was all about shaving brushes in vast boring detail. Gack!
SPOT ON. this is exactly what MIL is and this is what she has trained her son (my NH) to become.
ReplyDeletei am going to hazard that narcs have already crossed the 50% mark of percentage. it is a frightening scenario out here too.
narcissists
ReplyDeleteone tip to any victims of these creatures is to mix with others , the narc wont like it and will often try to put your friends / workmates of you but keep mixing because they are terrified of others knowing about them. these creatures are evil
This is an excellent tip. I was good friends with my narcissist's aunt and he finally had to end the relationship because the opinion of his aunt (semi-famous) was more important to him than anything. He said, "She sees me as [insert famous actor's name here]" (who she was friends with). "You know the real me, and I don't want her to know who I am." Thank God I escaped. So getting close to the person they respect most in the world is critical and a great protection.
Deletea warning to posters.
ReplyDeletenarcissists crawl these sites ,hoping to find one of their present victims. dont use your true names.
remember these creatures hide in human form but they are not human and hate humans because they cannot ever be human, they can only mimic emotions.
this is so true, they are not humans,they are possessed,i have proof of this,and when i would send proof to him of his condition he would never internalise and analyse his behaviour.. he would project this back on me..they are vamps,energy drain,loveless,cold, hate, then have this public persona that they are amazing,BEWARE social networks for these types this is where i met my ex..they are a spiritual test..they are nasty pieces of work, extreme revenge for the slightest hurt that you can cause them..highly dangerous individuals..
DeleteMan, I have been having a hell of a time dealing with a narcissist in my social group. She has really left me disturbed and uneasy. I simply need to learn to survive in situations where I am stuck in the same room as her.
ReplyDeleteWELL FUCKING SAID!! i totally agree, why the fuck should we walk around on eggshells and feel like the only way to survive is to help boost their fucking ego when really they need to loose it in order to realize that they can't receive the satisfaction they demand from us unless they glorify us in the same way they do themselves!
ReplyDeleteAmen Friend, Amen!
Delete<3 I love this! My ex is insane and I am trying my best to escape. This has been a long, hard journey. It helps to know that I am not alone, although I wouldn't wish that kind of torment on anyone! Great post!
ReplyDeleteI stopped feeding a pair of narcissist a couple years back, and one of them has resorted to stalking me. Thankfully, our mutual friends have come to recognize the situation for what it is, and have not offered him any help. He also somehow managed to convince his therapist to try to convince me to hang out with him... probably because he couldn't convince any of our mutual friends to do it for him. His therapist's career is pretty much trashed, and I still haven't spoken a word to him in over two years. I'd like to keep it that way. MN's have no place in my life.
ReplyDeleteMANY of the Narcs I've encountered don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, and they are the most arrogant SOB's I've ever come across. Sometimes I would say to myself, someone must've told them once or twice that they were cute, that's why they act that way. They are truly dilusional!
ReplyDeleteNail hit on the head. I LOVE YOU...
ReplyDeleteNail on the head. I love you...
ReplyDeleteEverything about my exhusband screams Narcissist! However, mine was soooo clever about decieving me into thinking he was a good guy. He would do all kinds of "volunteer" work and "good deeds" JUST to get me to put my wall down. I had been in previous abusive relationships, and I made the mistake of telling him this. He would use it to his advantage by telling me I'd never find anyone that'd love me like him,he'd say thing like "God I understand why(name) used to beat your ass", This N knew I was a perfect host for his parasitical needs. He tried to turn my family against me during arguments, tried to make me look crazy, was a PATHOLOGICAL liar, gave me an std while I was pregnant, was trolling for new N supply while I was still in the hospital(had the baby) the list goes on and on....I guess my point is though, for the first few years he did a damn good job of hiding behind his "person mask", so be careful because some are better at pretending to be compassionate human beings than others. I've read about the devalue and discard tendency of Ns. He devalued plenty, but he REFUSES to discard me.He wont just let me go! Anyone else have this happen w their Narcs?
ReplyDelete@ brandi "....I guess my point is though, for the first few years he did a damn good job of hiding behind his "person mask", so be careful because some are better at pretending to be compassionate human beings than others."
DeleteI have read a lot about thses narcs who can pull off the "person mask" for months and months, if not years. I guess that's how they lure and hook their prospective "cover of normalcy" and constant source of supply - a husband, wife, partner.
As far as romantic relationships go, I was never duped for long... maybe a few months. I think that's because I come from a NFOO and I went NC in my twenties. So when I recognized similiar narc behaviours, my back went up and I was on guard, and watching them like a hawk. That doesn't mean I wasn't used, abused, tricked, betrayed or exploited... it just means it didn't go on for very long. Also, they never even tried to defend themselves when I called them on their behavior. It was more of a "I am who I am" kind of response. Oh the ego, and the arrogance.
There are men I've dated that continue to fool sooo many. They come across as the consummate, humble nice guy who also happen to be successful in their field - yeah right. Only a few of them managed to con a women into marrying them and they are all now divorced - go figure. The mask eventually slips. But those who don't get close enough to know what they really are continue to be bamboozled.
I watched one narc I dated - who is now divorced from a much younger wife - accept a prestigious arts award on TV. Damn! His humble act was nauseating!! He crossed his hands and looked down at the stage floor while his business partner made the acceptance speach. He didn't say a word... oh so humble. What an ACT!! I almost barfed. Meanwhile, this nasty, cheap, lying, exploitative, user and abuser of a fraud was getting an award for a "compassionate" documentary about the marginalized of society. Their hypocrisy knows no bounds and it's so infuriating.
I've also found that these fake good guy narcs really like to promote themselves online. Websites, youtube videos, flicker - you name it. Maybe it's because they are so called "artists" that people buy their fake persona... especially when their art is about doing good unto others, society and the environment. I guess their "art" is just another cover like pedophile priests.
HI THERE.
Deletethe pregnancy issue is similar to mine.. i feel ya hun.telling other women they are beautiful,drinking,cocky,didnt put in any effort when was pregnant,arrogant,thinks done nothing shitty,never asked if i was okay,never asked to care for,was scared to death to be connected to this child in adult form, this conduit of evil for the rest of my life and had to abort,under guidance of councillors,and the medical staff,i had had 2 yrs of dehumanisation before this and the guy impregnanted me to show me he was a better lover than anyone else..he is also a cross dresser misognist who bends over on line as punishment for me having one image up of not even me with nice lighting,extreme to say the least..the cross dressing is to gain attention find someone to bum him which he also said he would like to do because he couldnt fall in love with a man, he cant fall in love with a woman either if he says stuff like that eyh..the dim wit..i am in the early stages of getting rid and have already progressed myself by getting a teaching job and quitting disgusting cigs.i have known he was evil for a long time, they hook you in pretend they value the same as you, if you make a mistake they never forgive you and they can slag you to high hell in the most diabolical of ways but you cant seek help to protect against them..i also refer to him as a creature and also believe that they are not human..i actually have seen proof of this that he is possessed..he also tried to strangle me pushing into my wind pipe telling me he damns me to hell and hopes i die.. however that was even denied.. he is hate, he damages at a molecular level.. they are scum. x
Dated a narcissist who works with famous people and she was a sublte monster. She enjoyed basking in the semi celebrity she has and names drops every two seconds, making out that famour people are her friends. She bragg about her salary and ony enjoys the company of men, never other women, who she judges all the time. She flirts with any and every guy and loved creating an atmosphere of uncertainty and insecurity. I left her like a thief in the night and she has gone on to relationship problem after relationship problem. A tragic cycle of envy, jealousy, arrogance and insecurities.
ReplyDeleteMy stupid, arrogant, all-knowing narc. ex-husband went to the doctor with me for my diagnosis of an autoimmune disease (similar to lupus), which, by the way, I'm almost positive I contracted from living with him and all of his psychological and emotional torture and abuse. He personally asked the doctor several questions about my diagnosis and physical ramifications. The doctor gave him clear, concise and informative answers. When we got home, he arrogantly denied everything the doctor explained to him and argued with me about the facts of my condition that the doctor had explained in his presence!!! The arrogance and cognitive dysfunction in these freaks is beyond belief! The God Complex these idiots have is sickening. He knew everything, even when experts told him otherwise. I lived with this "thing" "devil" "evil entity" for 8 years and it almost killed me. By the time he discarded me by divorce, I was so physically weak and sick that I almost had to apply for disability. I and my family firmly believe that he was slowly killing me with all the abuse and chaos. I actually had enough at one point when he was demanding that I comply with his abusive orders and distorted perceptions and I said, "You are not God!" It went downhill from there as I had dared to insult "The King." I am so glad I am no longer around him. Once I regained my faculties and a clear mind, I cannot believe what I endured. These people are arrogant freaks of nature.
ReplyDelete