Saturday 28 May 2011

Malignant Narcissist, Covetous Sociopath, Bully, Liar, Slanderer...

It doesn't matter what you call them: malignant narcissist, covetous sociopath or bully. They are one and the same. They are all predators who target people that provoke in them a desire for something they have, or for something they are. The covert power game and systematic destruction of another who put puts their wretched selves to shame is sport for the malignant narcissist. They excel at it. They’ve been practicing since birth. It gives them a thrill and makes them feel alive. That is why malignant narcissists are unsafe for human interaction, period.  If you have been targeted by a malignant narcissist and they have access to you, they will try and destroy you: that’s their nature. It's not complicated. Run like hell.

Having two narcissists as parents was no picnic (they divorced long ago). Though sometimes I feel lucky that they both weren’t malignant.  Unfortunately, my sister made up the difference. She is a malignant narcissist like my mother and I have had a target on my back since birth. Not one, but two dangerous predators working as a team have been hunting me all-my-life. Malignant narcissist sister tried to kill me twice (that’s another post) and MN mother slipped me a note - twice - that suggested I should commit suicide (that’s another post).

I’ve stayed out of reach of these two dangerous predators for 20 years and yet they still managed to stalk me and wreak havoc on my life over the phone, online and through email. Truth be told; that's the main reason I'm blogging on the subject of malignant narcissism - those two crazy bitches, and others who are exactly like them. Take it from someone who has been there: If you've been targeted by a malignant narcissist – particularly a family member – you will NEVER be safe in their sphere of influence because they will never stop trying to destroy you.

If the malignant narcissist can extract information from anyone, and I mean anyone, who is in contact with you, they will. They will create a smear campaign over the most innocuous slice of your life. For example, you tell Bob that a car rear ended you; the malignant narcissist knows that you’re in contact with Bob, and even though the malignant narcissist doesn’t have a relationship with Bob, she calls him now and again just to see if she can dig up dirt on you – that’s how brazen and predatory the malignant narcissist is. The blood thirsty malignant narcissist manages to pry this tiny tidbit of information – about a minor car collision - out of Bob. The malignant narcissist then concocts an elaborate pathology of you based on a 5 second mention of a fender bender. She spreads her work of fiction far and wide in order to generate a negative view of you in everyone’s eyes. Remember:  the malignant narcissist is ravenous; she hasn't had her supply since you went no contact; she is irritable and aggressive and is chomping at the bit to destroy you by any means possible.  

If the malignant narcissist can’t violate your mind directly, the next best thing is to dirty up other people’s minds with bad thoughts of you. This is achieved through lies, slander, false rumours, undermining, creating doubts and suspicions and by encouraging and manipulating people to withhold information and spread misinformation.

Don’t think for a second that sharing an innocent piece of information such as being in a fender bender is harmless – it isn’t. Any information about you is ammunition for the devious malignant narcissist and it will be used to attack you. That’s why it is so important to sever all lines of communication that are open to your abuser. Even if you don’t care what her cohorts and copycat abusers think, she’s still getting a power rush out of the game. And the worst part: the slimy bitch will malign you all under the pretense of “concern”. It’s enough to make you sick. She puts on a schmaltzy performance as a "caring" person; meanwhile, behind closed doors, she’s plotting your destruction. And, the brain dead 'pod-people' buy her act. What a joke! It's no surprise that narcissists surround themselves with imbeciles.

No wonder people are taking to the internet to expose the truth. Narcissistic abuse is not only an assault of a person’s human dignity; it’s a never ending cycle of re-victimization by an abuser who literally gets high and mighty through the process of your destruction. In short, narcissistic abuse is an assault on a person’s human dignity by those who have NO dignity – that is an outrage!

Malignant narcissists are disgusting, filthy, reprehensible creatures. They are violent mental and emotional rapists, and as such, they think like rapists. A rapist knows that they are dirty. They are secretly ashamed of themselves for their perversions. So, in order for the mental rapist to feel clean, they must dirty up their victim. That’s where spreading rumours, lies and slander comes in.  But we all know that slander is just projection. So, whatever LIES the vile narcissist is spreading about you, is actually the TRUTH about the narcissist.

Unfortunately, most people are easily duped into swallowing the narcissist’s load of crap. Female narcissists are masters at manipulating people through their emotions, beliefs, attitudes and perceptions. Malignant narcissist sister once said to me with a spooky giggle, "It's so easy to use the power of suggestion on Dad." Creepy, eh? There is underlying sinister intent to everything she says and does.

Another thing that people don’t get is that the narcissist needs NO reason to be hostile to their target. Normal people attack for natural motives like revenge or retaliation. Not so the narcissist. They simply attack people who possess something they want. For the narcissist believes that everything belongs to her, and if someone has a little of it, then she's not getting all of it. Pathological greed, entitlement, and covetousness are what makes the malignant narcissist a dangerous predator. They are forever out to take, keep from, destroy and besmirch whatever they can get their grimy paws on: be it your job, you home, your relationships, or your reputation.

It is sheer malevolence to want to damage the most valuable possessions of another. It is sheer malevolence to be hostile to others getting what makes them happy and feel good about themselves. And, it is beyond sick to have ill will toward people who aren’t harming you, have never harmed you, and have never threatened to harm you. Malignant narcissists are pure evil. Just look at who they target: vulnerable children, people who love them, family, and the innocent.

Convicted criminals who steal out of necessity, or shoot someone who tries to fight them off in a robbery, or commit murder out of anger or for revenge are better than the malignant narcissist. The criminal isn’t a threat to anyone else because he doesn’t go around wishing to hurt others or see harm come to them. But the malignant narcissist does - in every waking moment of her sad, sorry existence. The malignant narcissist is a pestilent, disease spreading low-life and the driving force behind her predation is insecurity, greed, entitlement and covetousness. Remember; she's not normal. She's incapable of acquiring positive attributes for herself, so she must take from others to even the score. 

The malignant narcissist's spiteful envy compels her to steal from you and she wants to make damn sure that you are severely harmed in the process.  This clandestine power game is priority number one, and all of the malignant narcissist’s energies are devoted to it.  The objective is POWER, CONTROL, and DOMINATION and she will stop at nothing to win. Causing the downfall of others gives her pleasure and victory means disempowering the target to a state of suffering and loss while aggrandizing herself. So sad, that the pathetic little narcissist must resort to such tactics but she knows no other way, she's abnormal: socially, morally, emotionally and psychologically retarded. 
However, beneath her extreme treachery, the malignant narcissist is still able to project an "image" - albeit campy and over-the-top.  So, when people don’t incite her jealous rage, she lays on the smarmy charm thick with a spoon and slyly uses those dimwits to spread vicious rumours about her victim. All the while, maintaining a false front as a well-meaning, do-gooder. Blech! That is precisely why these sickos - particularly women - can continue harming people. Why is the average person so dense? Narcissists are lousy actors.     

Malignant narcissists love their perverted sport, and they never want the game to end. It's all they have. Let's face it; their lives are sad, so very sad.  Take away the narcissist's only reason for living – to hurt others. Don’t be their play thing. Stay Far Far Away.


  1. I can totally relate to this. I have worked for several years for a person so much like this. Now thank GOD, I am being reaasigned to another area. What makes me angry is she has an uncanny
    ablilty to not be held accountable. I have not been destroyed, but brought to my knees. I even became suicidal for a short period of time. Senior management looks the other way, but it will happen again. However, I hope no one else will be placed under her. If so, this company is setting thenselves up for a major lawsuit. There were several unfortunate people before me!

  2. Anon, I am so sorry to hear that you have been going through this. I have experienced the same thing and it resulted in psychological injury.

    There is an excellent website that deals directly with workplace abuse by bullies/narcissists. It was started by a fellow who experienced a break-down as a result of a workplace bully.

    It is so true that they have the "uncanny ability to not be held accountable." Where there is one victim, there is many.

    I was able to bring my perpetrator to a "mild" justice but it will never make-up for the 2 plus years that I was terrorized.

    I'm glad that you are getting away from her, but you are absolutely correct in saying that the company is setting themselves up for a major lawsuit. Eventually, she will cross the wrong person - at least, I hope she is exposed.

    It sickens me that there are so many guilty bystanders out there who turn a blind eye... They don't get it. Unless, of course, it happens to them.

    I really hope she gets what's coming to her and she has to pay for the harm she inflicted on you and others!

    Take notes, and document everything.

  3. i work for a malignant narcissist too.
    these people are sub human . hitler was one too.
    inch by inch the subject is finding its way in to the press and the internet. i believe we are in a comparable position to what the victims of sexual harassment were prior to the 1970s. narcissism at work is thriving partly due to workers insecurities because of the financial crises and the mass de-unionisation since the 80s. but, the victims ,ourselves are also growing and becoming more educated about these evil people, some day in the future a front will build indeed it is building now and like sexual predators they will be found out and stopped. all this is in the future until then there is an excellant forum called workbully support, its a UK yahoo group and is growing and getting quite a movement growing , one of them even phoned to support me . another is bullyfree workplace by valerie cade she has her own site and is on you tube. FIGHT ON

  4. Anonymous,
    I agree. I think there's a growing movement to out these cretins, and it's building day-by-day. a UK site started by the late Tim fields is an incredible resource and has helped me a lot. I had the link on my blog, but just discovered it wasn't working - I think it's fixed now... maybe workbully support is affiliated with bullyonline? The UK seems to be on the cutting edge of bully awareness. I'm going to check-out Valerie Cade's site. Thanks for the input!

  5. My brother is a narcissist, who has tormented me and would do the same to my child, if I had allowed any further contact.

    I married someone just like him, and the emotional abuse and gaslighting got so bad I had to leave, which sent the N husband into a flying rage, and a long court battle. I ended up having to borrow money from my abuser to pay court fees; even though I paid him back it still hurts. I had to fight for the safety of my children and had no choice. It is amazing to me the depth and breadth of the webs they weave, and how the N-bro behavior toward me infected my marriage, as my ex husband observed the way I was treated by N Brother. Ex husband could not respect me after that. Mostly because he is an N himself, but partly because people are vulnerable to the powers of Ns and what they project. In my ex's eyes, I became what my brother declared, not what my ex had known me to be.

    I have struggled with my duplicity in the relationship with this N brother; I loved him and worshipped him as a child, because both parents were gone all the time. But it is sites like yours that give me courage to see clearly that I need to save myself from his grip at last. Nothing could be more important to my happiness and survival than never seeing him again.

  6. Anonymous,
    Your X husband should have protected you from your N-bro and stood up for you... He should have been on your side NOT disrespect you for the abuse you suffered at your brother's hands... but your X husband was an N too so he was also an abuser, and a heartless coward who took advantage of your vulnerability. They're both creeps and you are much better off without them. I truly believe that NO CONTACT is the only way to get back to ourselves, find strength and gain clarity... it's way too easy to fall prey to old patterns with these master manipulators EVEN when we've got their number. If there is a Narc in your midst they will infect you, and you will get sick. They should all be quarantined.

    You're on the right track. Protect yourself, stay strong and look forward to finding happiness with people who actually give a damn.

  7. Yes, it's extraordinary how people are duped by the Narcissist. A big city like London where I live is fertile hunting ground for the N who often as others have testified go under most people's radar. How someone can present themselves as cultured, wise, witty, benevolent, compassionate self deprecating and abstemious: and often too have a genuine gift which they unflaggingly promote as part of the whole package of themselves as being the most exceptional entity - above even God and the Angels defies belief - when under the surface all is dark and putrid - rotten to the core - much like Jesus's definition of the High Priests of his day as like to sepulchres - all whitewashed and ornate on the outside but inside - phew! There really is such a thing as evil at work in the world even at the most ordinary everyday level. So good you are spreading information on this ancient disease albeit dressed up in modern garb!

  8. Anonymous,
    Thank you for your comment. It's true that evil has existed since the beginnning of time so that's nothing new... neither is the fact that evil comes in many disguises from the well-heeled, high society social butterfly to the mundane and ordinary janitor to the violent criminal to the lazy welfare slob. I'm always suspicious of people who try to cover-up the stench of their putrid selves with the smell of success,'acts' of kindness, culture, modesty, generosity, or being pitiful etc. etc. It's simply an "ACT" to keep everyone fooled. Truly decent people don't make a show of their decency, and don't want to be pitied. I've know all types of malignant narcissists... from the overly helpful building janitor to the high flying Movie Producer, to the low key, sensitive artist, to the poor hard done by martyr mother, to the kindly old grandpa. HA! They're all the same... all trying to cover-up the big zit of who they are by laying on the make-up a little too thick.

    Evil may be tricky, but it's really not that creative or interesting... the evil are incredibly predictable and they all pull from the same bag of tricks... that's why we are able to pin them down with a label(NPD). For some reason, assigning a 'disorder' to them makes it easier for people to accept that they are bad, dangerous, and do not wish us well. Not that that does the victims any good, but at least it makes them easier to identify and avoid. Narcissists are all rotton to the core on the inside but they do whatever works on the outside to conceal their true selves. Our greatest gift is our intuition... we must access it, and use it always. As the old saying goes... if something seems to good too be true it probably is. Always trust your gut, and be vigilante about spotting red flags in people's behavior.

  9. Thank you for the above - my comment is of course based on personal experience - hence my research and finding this site among so many on the web. I came across NPD as a definition quite by accident when searching for information on another disorder and my reaction was - 'Damn! So there's actually a name for this!' And this after years of being targeted by one individual: the gaslighting, the constant undermining and really creepy behaviour- which my intuition told me early on were all very wrong. Though one's intuition should be relied on - one needs a strategy too - mine was to listen and seemingly acquiesce.

    N: 'You should print that book you know - you might have a fire in your house.'

    Me: 'Yes, indeed, and maybe get smoke alarms fitted too.'

    In this way its possible to draw them out and find what they really do have in mind - so much is in the subtext ... Though people once having identified the N will have their own procedures.

    Once again many thanks

  10. So much is in the subtext... So true when it comes to narcs. Nothing about them is direct, and they don't have an honest bone in their body. All their bad intentions just bubble beneath the surface of visible reality. Having a strategy, in addition to following one's intuition, is excellent advice when dealing with a narcissist.

    To quote from the book Coraline... Be brave. Be wise. Be tricky.

    As far as I'm concerned; dealing with a narcissist on any level is just one big mind game and power struggle... the trick - like you suggest - is not to let them know your playing. It's fun to outwit the devil.

  11. Or as RD Laing put it in his little book Knots

    They are playing a game
    They are playing at not playing a game
    When I show them I see they are
    I am breaking the rules and then they punish me
    I must play the game
    Of not seeing
    That I see the the game

  12. I came across your blog while I was searching the term 'covetous sociopath' a diagnosis that another family member has suggested my Sister-in-law (brother's sister) may have. I welcome your input. Background: she is in early 30s, adopted and a different race from her parents and brothers. She demands money and expensive items from her parents constantly and has resorted to blackmail, threats of harm to others and self, guilt and other tactics to get them. She was fired from her job recently, so parents are taking care of her financially right now. When she has been around me, if I have something new, she has to buy it. She shows no remorse, nor does she accept responsibility for anything she has done. She seems to play the victim card, and will go to any lengths to get her parents to feel sorry for her (and thus buy her something). Or she will lie. She has tried (and has been successful) in getting her mother to turn against most other family members, including her own mother, sisters and she is also angry with one of her children. We cannot seem to get my MIL to see SIL for what she is (she thinks her daughter suffers from low self-esteem and depression) and wants us to be sympathetic. I would avoid SIL at all costs, but this has caused problems with MIL and I do not want to put my husband in a bad spot with his family. Does this sound like an individual with covetous sociopathic tendencies to you? If so, what is your recommendation?

  13. Anonymous,
    It sounds like SIL is her parent's problem NOT yours. If the worst you get from her is her buying the same thing you bought then who cares? If I was you, I would avoid her as much as possible and/or let her know - in no uncertain terms - that her crap doesn't work on you.

    Whether she is a full-blown NPD, borderline personality, or a sociopath makes no difference. These "people" are a royal pain in the ass, and they don't change. If HER parents CHOOSE to be controlled and manipulated by her than that's their problem. I doubt there's anything you can say or do to stop them from believing it's a case of low self-esteem and depression. It definitely sounds like she has a personality disorder, but it also sounds like she has enabling parents and assorted family members who are living in a FOG (fear, obligation and guilt). Everyone in her sphere of influence needs to wise-up, and lay down the law. If they continue to give this little bitch free reign to do whatever the hell she wants then they're asking for it. Frankly, I have no sympathy for people who are too chicken shit to face the truth about their so-called family members. Everyone who is effected by SIL's vile behaviour needs to take responsibilty: go no contact, cut her off! Call her on her bull-shit, and render her powerless! Until that happens, she's just going to continue to have everyone under her nasty little thumb.

    Protect yourself and just be glad the demented little monster is not YOUR sister, mother or daughter.

  14. Lisette:
    Thank you for your reponse. It is actually worse because she is trying to turn my MIL and others against me with her lies. Thankfully my husband does not believe her lives (she just told him one about me today). I have two young children that I am trying to keep away from her, because I fear for their safety. MIL wants to babysit, but we have not allowed her to have the kids if SIL may show up (although she lied one time and didn't tell us SIL came over until after we picked our children up). We've had to install a burglar alarm because we are afraid she could try to steal from us and we have strong evidence she is on drugs, too (she has also expressed interest in purchasing a hand gun). I do have to deal with her on some family occasions and witness her torment her family (including swearing at her MIL in front of my children and enouraging them to misbehave- they are only 3 and 5). This is killing my MIL and FIL (MIL was just admitted into hospital for fainting and low blood pressure-from all the stress). I was just hoping for confirmation on diagnosis and advice for how to deal with her, since I can't stay away from her completely.

  15. Anonymous,
    I'm not a doctor, or an expert on personality disorders so I can't offer a diagnosis. Your SIL is clearly dangerous and needs to be treated as such. What else do you need to know? Giving her a label, or confirmed diagnosis isn't going to change anything. Call and label her whatever you want (malignant narcissist, sociopath whatever) just protect yourelf and your family from her.

  16. Wow...finally someone who understands. Im guessing you're the youngest in the family? My father, my mother and my older sister all NPD's. I always sensed there was something wrong with them, so I dealt with it through humor. Wasn't alot I could do, cause we moved around a lot, so basically they had the perfect gig in abusing me...but at age 23 I realized how fucking crazy my older sister actually is and that you can't really think of her as "human", as harsh as that sounds. I thought she'd changed, cause she moved out at age 18 and went into therapy etc. , but that was just her alibi, so she could sucker strangers into feeling sorry for her in order to inflict maximum damage, when other's defenses are down. She was chased out of a town by her first circle of friends away from home. Not just thrown out of the circle of friends. When they all caught on to her, they terrorized her until she had to move. I still have to get my head around it though...that I grew up with a person " normal " people, if they catch on at all, feel utterly repulsed by. A snake. I kind of knew, that she f.ex. managed to talk guys in her class to bully me in every school we went to ( she's 2 years older ). I was a small kid who got bullied in my class as it is...I kind of sensed it...but...the constant moving wanted me to have some stability in my life, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I kinda had to, since my NPD mother would never let me out of the house and " isolate " me, as they do with their children and my NPD father treated me like some sort of annoying dog since I could think. The entire family actually, but it didnt make me want to take that out on weaker people. It did with her I comes the kicker. I thought she had changed, or convinced myself, cause she had been in therapy for about 5 years by the time I was 23. She asked if she could visit, I said sure. Looking back's just baffling...even for her standards. She arrived, was all smiles and friendly. The third day, I'm sitting infront of my computer, not knowing that she's secretly calling a mental hospital. The next day she urgently wakes me up, I get dressed and walk into the living room and some woman is sitting there, while my sister sits down with a weird creepy smile on her face. My sister called a mental hospital and told them I tried, or wanted to commit suicide, fully knowing that this would cause an obligatory stay in the nuthouse. With the ambulance infront of our house and everything, I got taken away and had to sit around in there for 4 months. After all this...she still has the nerve to talk to me, as if nothing ever happend. It's mindblowing...but Im preaching to the choir here aren't I ^^...It's fucking crazy.

  17. I can see a malignant narcissist making a call and lying to have someone committed because they're just that crazy and evil. But I can't see it working. Someone saying that you wanted to, or tried to commit suicide, would not land you in a mental hospital for 4 months. First of all, there's voluntary and involuntary stays. If you were locked up for 4 months it's because you "volunteered" to go to the hospital and get diagnosed. Then the shrink on site would have had to deem you a danger to yourself or others. I find it difficult to believe that would happen unless you had a history of suicide attempts or mental illness. If you didn't volunteer to be taken in then they would have had to drag you away in a straight jacket. That "woman" who was sitting in the living room would have had to truly believe that you were suicidal.

    If it really was that easy to lock people up in psych wards, I would make a few calls and have every narc I know committed. Also, a narc in therapy for 5 years? Hmmm. The only reason I can think of a narc lasting that long in therapy is because they enjoy droning on about themselves in sessions.

    Your "story" doesn't add up.

    You aren't preaching to the choir because our experiences are real and yours sounds like a crock of shit.

  18. Yeah I can relate. I'm a dude and I'm quite convinced my father has NPD and my mother is codependant. Though it's my father, his type of narcissism is more like what you'd expect from a woman narcissist, that is, extremely passive aggressive, manipulative, slanderous, overly charming to outsiders but extremely dismissive, petty and childish towards me and also my mother (though she can't see it cause it would hurt her too much). He acts(!) a little better towards my younger brother, meaning instead of being vicious to him he has mostly been absent to him and is just (again awkwardly) nice enough to him when he needs him in his corner and in doing so fools my brother into believing he 'means well underneath the flaws' (which he absolutely doesn't).

    I think the biggest evil narcissists do is to pit family members against each other by playing on their loyalty to him. My mother for instance is so emotionally invested in my narcissistic father that when I tell the truth about how he treats me or her or even the dog, she doesn't want to hear about it. She feels personally responsible for the things he does (though I tell her not too and that I don't blame her for what he does) and she just can't stand to bear responsibility for the malicious acts of my father so she just has to ignore them.

    Unfortunately the fact that my mother always stands next to him toward the outside world means I pretty much have no credibility at all if I'd want to reach out to aunts or uncles (from my mother's side, cause my father's sister and two brothers have always had just minimal contact with my father), which is one thing I now regret not doing in the past (it feels wrong to 'tell' on your father, eventhough he tells (lies) about you all the time to them, but now it wouldn't feel wrong anymore).

    Anyway, one thing that I found missing a little bit in the comments above is that I've clearly seen the completely earth shattering insecurities in my father that probably cause all this stuff. He of course doesn't want to hear about it but it's just painfully clear to me and unfortunately I've made it clear to him I picked up on that when I was younger and thought I could talk about that stuff with him to make things better (maybe that's one of the reason why I'm his favourite target). He also has nightmares on occassion he wakes up screaming from (and then of course never tells what it's about or even acknowledges he has them at all).

    I have no sympathy for the pathological bully that he is, but if I take more distance I do understand how this disease plays out intergenerationally.

  19. you're also describing traits of the sociopath. If you're not familiar, check out how these evil people operate. The solution is the same as the mal N: recognize them on sight and stay far, far away.

  20. My mother, and I believe my twin sister, are malignant narcissists. I understood early on that they weren't kind people but I never came to understand what they truly were. Living with them, although not normal, became a normal way of life for me.

    I read, "As with most improvements in the human condition, we must start with our children. When you teach your children, explicitly or by passive rejection, that she must ignore her outrage, that she must be kind and accepting to the point of not defending herself or other people, that she must not "rock the boat" for any reason, you are not strengthening her prosocial sense; you are damaging it, and the first person she will stop protecting is herself." ~Martha Stout, Ph.D.

    Being raised by malignant narcissists, I was not taught this.

  21. Check this out:

  22. Beautiful website. Years of searching has led me to the conclusion that there is no difference between psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, bully, passive-aggressive etc. Mri's now show if one has the brain functioning of a "psychopath," which means that their brains don't process emotions such as love, guilt, gratefulness or shame, that everytime they display these things, it is simply an act. "I, Psychopath" on Youtube follows a "narcissist" who gets a brain scan and finds out he is a psychopath. The kicker with this guy is that he makes his living doing videos on Youtube about narcissits, psychopaths etc. and has written a popular book and it is all at the expense of victims of psychopaths.

    Aftermath Radio deals with the after effects of abuse but the best website by far that has opened my eyes is "Sanctuary For the Abused." The information on this website has forever changed me. Like you, I was raised with all psychopaths. I was NEVER given "no conscience" as an option when looking to describe my family. Dysfunctional. PLEASE! Dysfunctional would be HEAVEN compared to the hell of psychopathy. Once I was allowed "no conscience" as a choice, and how this LOOKED (not murdering child molestors), it was a RELIEF! No, it did not change the rape of my life, but it's so obvious that this is what is "wrong" with so many people.

    Thanks again for sharing you soul. And I'd also like to say, I'm so sorry.

  23. Why is it when you tell "normal" people that someone you know or someone that they know is a sociopath/narcissist/bully, that they look at you like you are the crazy one.....??

    LOL, ya I agree, Anon. Dysfunctional would be heaven compared to what we've had to deal with.

  24. If someone told me something that serious, I would ask for all the evidence they could give me instead of treating them as if they were crazy. Disbelief of a victim of abuse is devastating. People need to listen and ask for proof so they can stand behind the right person 100%.

  25. Hello Lisette, I can't believe I have found a situation that mirrors our predicament. I recently discovered by research that my mother had all the symptoms of the illness "narcissistic personality disorder". She is 85 years old and I was always puzzled why she appeared bullet proof with emotion or empathy, my sister seems to have the condition but is louder flashier and the symptoms are exaggerated, this characteristic is now in one of her daughters. It is quite a long story but the basics are for nearly eight years my sister and her daughters have persecuted one of my daughters who is of such a lovely nature, if she had misbehaved or committed any wrong doing I would have corrected her but I can honestly say and I mean that sincerely her only crime is being pretty, your statement absolutely mirrors the evil crusade from my and I am ashamed to say family.
    My mother is of no help whatsoever and I now realise due to the personality disorder, she bullied and tortured my father for fifty two years fabricating stories about him for the purpose of seeking attention, the truth being he was a humble genuine man of good character who went out of his way to never offend anybody unfortunately he died in November 2009 aged 89 and we really miss him.
    My mother has always always lived in a fantasy world of affluence with phoney accents getting posher the higher the social status or wealth of the company she is in. This affluent world she craves is in her opinion an entitlement, originally from Bermondsey in South East London an area that was far from affluent her parents were decent Catholic people who I can’t see suffering a narcissistic attitude without discipline. The condition may have progressed upon marrying my father a business owner who could possibly satisfy her desires of wealth and social status. Over a period of years he struggled with the business and eventually declared bankrupt she showed no empathy and continued to maintain a lifestyle despite this hardship until it drove him away for a while. The demands from her were probably greater than any creditor and she was definitely nastier. With her plans shattered she seeked attention from priests, nuns’ councillors. family, neighbours just about anybody who would listen to her fabrications about my father and what a terrible life she lead portraying herself as an unfortunate victim, a practice she still tries today but you can’t fool all the people all the time. She became very predictable and a pattern formed with her aggression towards my father, I remember vividly the shouting and screaming starting on at first his rest days then every day, her paranoia fuelling her false accusations and very often she was violent. A solution was never in sight, she actually enjoyed the conflict and still does to this day coupled with the lies and denials and remaining a difficult and unreasonable person still believing herself a victim. With all this going on she couldn’t develop a friendship with anybody, her paranoia would lead her to the illusion others were jealous and trying to be better than her. The quotations “she’s no better than me” and “who does she think she is?” were used on a daily basis and very often directed at women who were innocent or unaware of any conflict.
    With this behaviour paving the way I arrive at the problem in hand. My sister and at least one daughter have inherited these traits but both are better described as Malignant Narcissistic and many things relate to your post.. From a young age my sister was a constant attention seeker. Yet again the same as my mother with delusions of grandeur her entitlement was a life with servants, wealth, power and upper class status and was going to reach this stage crushing anybody in her way. After leaving school she worked in a East End factory as an office clerk and was in a relationship with a young man who favoured criminal activities over a working career making the courtship only possible with visiting orders to prison.

  26. After time she met another young man of a similar profession but he didn’t get caught as often. A lot of money started to roll into their possession as he started a business in selling tickets on the secondary market for sold out concerts sports events etc .there was more profit in this than selling drugs or stolen goods and it wasn’t illegal until greed set in, the greed of my sister.
    My mother who wanted all her life to live the lifestyle of my sister said of her husband “he has only got what he has down to her (my sister)” meaning wealth and status. This statement will fall into place with unbelievable relevance.
    This is where the narcissist steps in, pure monster in the guise of my sister and daughters.
    In the quest for fame, wealth, power, supremacy lavish parties were held in the large house they lived in. This attracted the spongers and parasites some of them wealthy and generous some wealthy and mean and some pretending to be wealthy but they all appeared of the same opinion and their judgement of my sisters character measured by the quantity of champagne filling their glasses one can only say bought and manipulated. Sadly people were measured by what they have and not what they are. Little did they know about the hidden agenda to social climb and how it was all going to tumble with millions of pounds and hundreds of people involved. Anybody on low income were cast as irrelevant and really considered scum as the income became more plentiful, this category unhelpful in climbing the social ladder. Shop staff, workmen, customer services would suffer a tirade of abuse very often for such trivial things. The daughters were now at a social level where they would sneer at children that attend state schools.
    The highest status my arrogant and pretentious sister would reach was when she bought herself a title ”LADY BLAC******” , she even opened a bank account in the titled name, Talk about exaggerating her achievements and importance, total fraud. You can only look at this as SICK!!!!!! Her distorted belief being that others would be jealous of her and her title, SAD!!!!!!!
    As my three children got older it was my daughter who was to be at the mercy of these bullies I knew as family. I can relate so many of the narcissistic symptoms in my sister and her daughters, jealousy, fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents, lacking empathy or disregard for other people’s feelings the exception being wealth, obsessed with themselves the list goes on and all apply. In their opinion they all were never wrong about any aspect and would lie, twist the truth and close ranks to ensure they were never beaten. Sorry not a word they were familiar with.
    A series of events divided the family, I had to remove my daughter from the school to protect her from the physical and mental bullying by her cousin. My sister was now supporting the evil actions of her youngest daughter by colluding to spread false rumours accusing my daughter of being cunning, sly, and spiteful and stealing friends, they now think they own other people’s children as well. The imbeciles now appear to have been manipulated and eight years later it is worse, to date my daughter has never done anything or said a bad word against these girls and has suffered in silence while these bullies laugh and ridicule her. The thing is these nasty girls are not the most attractive species and without logical thought perceiving the feelings of my daughter they are truly manipulated monsters and shame on the parents who believe my sisters lies because she used to be able to ply them with champagne.

  27. What sort of minds have these disciples got to support the persecution of a lovely child now nineteen and they are still trying to destroy her. They have gone on a crusade to make sure my daughter is isolated and without friends, it is heartbreaking to watch your daughter suffer when all she wanted was a friend but denied that by evil lies and rumours emanating from your own family and in all this the lack of empathy from my mother who selfishly is protecting her own interests that being she resides with my sister. It is absolutely surreal, you can’t stop asking the question is it me or is it my daughter and what have we done to deserve this?
    Now there is an unexpected but not surprising turn of events.
    After a couple of years apart from my sister and her family I receive a phone call from my sister’s husband inviting us to meet in a restaurant to be truthful rekindle the relationship between families, I will say he didn’t possess the problems of narcissism but wasn’t man enough to stop my sister and her daughters in their pursuit of destroying my daughter and it wasn’t the case that he never knew.
    My sister and her husband were in some sort of trouble, she was stuck in Florida unable to leave the hotel because she was struggling to settle the bill. There seemed more to but they wouldn’t tell you the truth anyway. The nastiness had temporarily ceased, my daughter was not getting the usual hostility, and my wife and I were really pleased she had a calm state of mind.
    Moving on to November 2008 my wife receives a text early in the morning from my sister’s eldest daughter “we are being raided”. It was the Serious Fraud Office with the police, accountants, architect, sniffer dogs IT experts in all probably 50 to 60 officials all in and surrounding my sister’s house. This was the start of a large fraud investigation lasting three years.
    My brother in law was convicted and received an eight year prison sentence for fraud and my sister was acquitted of money laundering leaving the CPS amazed at the verdict. I was not around for the trial as we had yet again fallen out over her coercing my dying 89 year old father into borrowing a substantial amount of money to fund the legal fees when the investigation started something my sister denied knowing anything about yet on the day my father signed the agreement he came immediately to my house handed me the signed copy and said my sister had driven him to the office to sign and to look after the document if anything happened to him, his exact words were ‘”she (my sister) has gone the same way as her husband I can’t trust anything she says or does” , eight months later he passed away with the debt outstanding. Three years on my mother is forced to sell the house to satisfy the still outstanding debt and what is left to pay the mortgage on my sister’s house which may be confiscated. Considering what they have subjected my daughter to there is no way I could betray her and help them.
    My mother’s quote “he has only got what he has down to her (my sister)”, she was right he got eight years in prison.
    For over a year now we have endured terrible abuse from my sister’s middle daughter who I consider to be dangerously mentally ill. She is showing all the signs you mention in your post and has convinced others in recruitment to join in with the nasty messages, phone calls and facebook posts all aimed firstly at my daughter then at me, and especially mocking me as I have documented everything. I’m sure she won’t stop until she has got someone killed.

  28. They even came to my house Christmas day and caused trouble I didn’t go to them and four months later came out with another fabrication that I threatened to kill the eldest daughter on that day, a very dangerous accusation but it all connects under the narcissism banner.
    One day last year my sister’s daughter went on the rampage over the internet and text. She started yet again with my daughter bombarding her with 15 vile and threatening messages then rang my daughter’s boyfriend accusing her of cheating on him and giving abuse, then she attacks my son on a messaging website giving him abuse, he was revising for an exam at university he was sitting within hours. Then I receive a phone call and she is full of what everybody is doing wrong, I told her to F*** off and leave all alone. Despite attempts to erase some messages I managed to keep copies. The next day I presented the evidence to a lawyer who confidently assured a conviction could be sought but all I wanted was for my family to be left alone. My daughter’s boyfriend did respond, he posted go away your parents will be going on a little trip soon, referring to the fraud case, well the reaction was unbelievable you would have thought he had fired a gun at them, they were spreading rumours look what he has done completely ignoring the fact the MN daughter had started the attack, she never told anybody that side of the story.
    As a confiscation order is in progress and as usual they always perform around my daughter’s birthday with outbursts and abuse. This weekend the MN daughter has recruited more girls to send abusive texts to my daughter just to ruin her birthday celebrations, it didn’t spoil everything and she did have a good birthday.
    Through all this I have instructed my wife and children not to respond to any taunts whether email BM or phone, it is difficult but we have adhered to it.
    How do you combat these people with this nasty affliction?

    Sorry it is spread over four pages

  29. I came across your website recently, purely because i feel i have been pushed to the edge by my sister-in-law(brothers wife). I have 2 older brothers and 2 younger sisters, a mum & dad that loved each other deeply until sadly, she passed away from stomach cancer 5 years ago this coming friday. The crazy sister-in-law is your typical garden variety female narsissist who thrives on creating dramas in everybodies lives. My brother is a sensitive, loving soul & i have never understood what the hell he ever saw in her to get married and have kids with her. When she fell pregnant my brother was over the moon, but she would parade around telling everyone she never wanted children, shes only doing it because he wants kids. She then demanded a brand new car and house as compensation for having his kids(she already has 2 N twin 16 year old daughters from a relationship as a teenager). This post isnt long enough to go through the years of the whole dramatic scenario...
    Family has always been very important to me & as a family unit we are very close (especially since mum passed away). Im having a hard time at the moment because she is doing everything she can to drive a wedge in between my brother and the rest of us, sadly she is succeeding. He just about breaks his back working to support this creature, her 2 creature daughters and his own two gorgeous daughters, both 2 & 3.
    She believes the world owes her, is selfish and toxic. A smiling assassin. Disgustingly smiling sweetly while she stabs you in the back & gives it a twist.
    Most of the advice on this website and others is to run as fast and as far away from these people as you can. I dont know if i can turn my back on my brother. He needs help. Shes an abuser & I cant have my neices growing up to be like her. How the hell do i deal with this??!!
    I really want to tell her to pull her head in & have an honest look at what she is doing to her husband (or meal ticket as she obviously sees him) but saying anything at all will add fuel to the fire & shes likely to use the babies as pawns & I'll never be allowed to see them or my brother again. Is there any other way around her so i can still have a close family relationship?? Unfortunately my brother refuses to listen to anything bad said about her, he'll just defend her behaviour. I dont understand it..
    Im devastated.

    1. You can stop trying to save other's understandable that you love your brother, however, you will end up driving yourself crazy.

    2. "How the hell do I deal with this?"

      Unfortunately, some of the kids(or maybe all) will become like her. I know your pain. It sucks to watch what is happening but there is nothing that you can do about it and to make matters worse,your brother doesn't want to deal with it and is obviously in denial.This in which teaches the kids to overlook the narcs behavior and play lets pretend everything is ok.

      These narcs are very skilled at what they do. They happily drive wedges between people and pit family members against one another. Unfortunately when it comes to families, the narcs usually win.

      Accepting it for what it is and grieving the situation is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Of course it is a process and it takes a long time for some.I wish I had a better answer.

    3. I went through all of these replys and couldn't find an end to this web where we could share "general comments" to everyone or find out who the author of this web is here [??]
      In noticing the endless new books and webs on this topic as well, something new [Intimacy Anorexia]..all coming to the table [ FINALLY after all the many yrs of wondering if anyone else had a label for this madness] >>> I got to this web [ which whomever you are "blessings to you", your web is the first to really get to the heart and soul and very descriptive words for these type of characters] using google for sisters/brothers who are Narcissistic sociopath/psychopaths/ I married two different Catholic school-boys [ not men, they never grew up] both who have some serious avoidance issues-ice in their blood for any empathy, and highly abusive, but in going through court with my first sadly having bred four children with him, [ a huge story adding the characters in this circus of power positions-judges, attorneys, whores of the court,etc.] it was my own family and sisters who helped in destroying my children, kidnapped one of them, used hypnotherapy on her where she does not even speak to me or her siblings being so mind controlled as my oldest son is the same, both also Narcissistic sociopaths. My oldest son also married a Mrs America pageant "drama queen". But the worst, who came after my own parents, was my middle sister.....the other is just plan psychopathic-this one is indoctrinated into a world claiming peace to everyone but her own family. She is the heart of more lose and cruelty in my that makes all the rest even harder to handle. Thanks for doing this web, perhaps I am missing the place to contact you or write in the proper place here but, I hope this gets posted anyway !!

    4. In reading some of these posts, beware of the "third person" advisors of "how you should handle it"...when they have nothing to say about their own personal interactions with a family member or friend/co worker/spouse/ but they tell you what you should do and how you should feel and "get over it" or the word "cope" accepting are stupid words, the AA thinking you can find on the web: the orange papers, the idea of "coping" keeps people on the gerbil wheel, rolling and rolling on, never moving forward. I see it on other new ones like Escaping the Boy, even some of the authors who seek stories so they can make money writing books and doing therapy for others...good God ! What we need is language, and support, validation, interactions with real people...a place and time to get real and say it as it is about the hurtful nar/sociopaths/psychopaths in our world. Again, thanks for doing this web, it is the best one I have seen.

  30. This is a good article and I have read many. I have read all the comments, I feel for you. I never knew about Sociopaths or Narcissist untill three years ago. I had a friend who I believe to be one.(I really do) I had a co-worker(friend) who victimized me for ten years. He was envies of me and probably more. He conned me in a life game, which I knew nothing about. I was stalked, lied to manipulated, tricked. I had lots of trust in him. I could write about this for ever. But I will just say that he left me destroyed as a person. I lost my job, my house and more. He is just nothing but evil. It is written that Sociopaths will never walk in the kingdom of heaven because of the lives they destroy.

  31. This account that you have written about the traits of a malignant narcissist completely struck a chord with me.
    My younger sister is exactly what was described. It was so scarily accurate that it frightened me.
    For years she and her close friend have spread malicious rumours, denied responsibility for anything they have caused, twisted versions of stories, accused others of what they are guilty of themselves. All for a cheap thrill out of spite, jealousy and pure evil. Their greatest thrill is to chip away at people so much that they destroy their romantic relationships, put doubts into people's heads all with their lies and cause hurt to those who genuinely care about them. I walked away from this poisonous pair over 2 years ago and they still do not give up. Is there any point in trying to warn others or do I just not bother getting involved in their twisted games?

  32. What you're describing here sounds like a female colleague who eventually became my boss 10 years ago.Because of her machinations (which were very similar to what you have described here)I eventually left that particular place of employment.I found out later(3 years in fact) that she was still making enquiries as to my whereabouts and what I was doing in a malicious way.Indeed, just weeks after I left said job a friend of mine spotted a car parked outside my house with the engine running:when I arrived at the top of my driveway whomever it was immediately put the car into reverse and made their getaway.This led me to believe it was someone who knew me.4 years later I had the misfortune to encounter her boyfriend in a pub who made various threats and said he knew where I lived!If you put these 3 incidents together a pattern emerges I think you'll agree.

  33. Lisette, you are a hero for me. Withstanding so much in your life - it's an inspiration for me to fight my battle.
    I changed my job few months ago and found myself working with a malignant narcissist colleague and a wannabe bully boss who gets easily manipulated by him. The workplace is a living hell some days. I have had many sleepless nights, my self-confidence was shattered. The is a really great web site when it comes to workplace bullying. At least I found out who I'm working with. Abdominal breathing, St. Jonh's wort and regular sport helped me with sleeping disorders and dealing with high levels of stress. But the biggest thing is believing in yourself and believing that things will get better one day. As an ENFJ I really have a problem with black thoughts and some days I can feel that my own head is my biggest enemy. I've been looking for another job for months now but haven't had much luck so far. I hope I'll have more luck and find something pretty soon.
    This is a life lesson - I've never thought that there could be so many people without conscience. They can hide it really well. These guys managed to pass through regular psychological tests more than once. I believe that regular tests can't take their sheep wool off.
    I'll be more careful when dealing with other people. Narcs can use everything as ammunition against you and they will. Vigilance is important but at the same time you must accept you should not try to understand those people and best of all avoid them altogether.
    Good luck to everyone involved with the creatures!

  34. i'm a a war of mommy vs baby / child. i can relate to all of these posts; would like support of peers--i need it. how about horse therapy and group--like vets, etc?

  35. hey, there is only one goofy word. i can't ever get thru

  36. "I changed my job few months ago and found myself working with a malignant narcissist colleague and a wannabe bully boss who gets easily manipulated by him. The workplace is a living hell some days." I just wanted to comment on this.. In my early years, I was single mom. Obviously, my employment was very important to me, or else me and my kid would be out on the street. I obviously treated my job very seriously, and MN bosses picked up on this. They were maniacs. I worked weekends, unnecessarily, they threatened my job, etc. I took their threats to heart, and was always looking for the next best thing, and just up and quit.

    I then was on the board at my new job. There was this one woman that was an obvious psycho path. She refused to hire this very competent guy because he didnt really need to work, and she didnt like not having a job to hang over his head!! She hired someone more needy.

    People would always make comments, about the number of positions I have held, and the number of marriage proposals, as if that is somethign to be proud of. In reality, what it was, is that I attracted psycho paths into my life. Men wanted to marry me, because they wanted to control me. I got the job, because I came across as a willing slave.

    I hate that I was raised by a MN. Once I flew the nest, it was like, I was fighting other vultures, ( and my moms flying monkeys) afterwords.

    Took me nearly 20 years to grow myself back up. But I am here. Not merely just surviving but thriving.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience. It's very supportive to know that you managed to heal your wounds and now live your life to its fullest.
      This has been my first experience with sociopaths. I had been naive and perhaps too open when dealing with strangers.
      I took the job so I could be closer to my family. The job itself is stressful and doesn't really match into my previous experience and talents I have. So here is the price I pay.
      Still, I believe that all that happens in our lives comes so we could learn from it and be what we are.
      What I've been living through in the last nine months definitely changed my points of view in many things.
      I hope that this lesson will soon by over and I'll be able to move on stronger and better than I'd ever been before.

  37. hey, hello lisette, i left a post for you and said that it's hard for me because i can't always read the silly words in order to send--and i don't remember what site of yours it was ( i'm at the library typing, for now). anyway i'll try again but until i get a better handle on this, i hesitate to write a lot--only to lose it. i want to tell you you are so unique and such a fantastic writer, and so very helpful. i think you are the best place online. have your read tim o'brien's "the things they carry"? it's about war and pts(d). it too is very affirming. i wish i could meet you. i see many others love you as well. i finally found a good therapist here, but (i'm the one who said) i feel i need some peers. not to talk about the wounds and the heartless wounding, but just to feel normal. only in the company of people who really know what the horror is like do i feel very very normal and basicaly understood--on a fundamental level of Being. i'll try to write again. thank you!!!!

    1. Anonymous.

      You're welcome! Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you are comfortable here and find the blog helpful. I'm also glad you found a good therapist. I will defintely look into the book "The Things They Carry." Thanks for that. Yes, peers are very important. As far a finding people who truly understand, online peers (others who have experienced N abuse) can be very supportive and validating. I think it's difficult for anyone to be really understood. But I get what you are saying. The average person will never be able to wrap their head around what the horror is like. That's why many of us end up sharing our experiences online with people who have lived it. I encourage you to check out all the ACON blogs, if you haven't already. Like anything, it takes time to get comfortable online, but there is a great support community out there.

  38. thanks for replying and for your advice. my time is nearly up here at the library. the book is titled "the things they carried," i believe--i wrote it wrong above--sorry. i'll write soon. i hope you sick around for a long time. i'm hiding from the last, remaining abuser, or i'd tell you who i am..that is not very unusual for us, i suspect. peace, Lisette

  39. Many write about sociopath, but I dont think very many are taken serious. Not to degree they should.
    As a sociaty we condem pedophelia and physical violense. But nobody listens when it comes extreme emotional abuse by parents. But the fact is that this can be fare worse, also because nobody acknowledge it!
    Somebody should have stebt in and taken me away from my parents when I was a kid.The system, people around. But nobody did. In fact they believed in my parents lies, that set me up as a target. And friends and family joined in.
    There has to be foukus on this subject. And the fact that sociopaths also can be intellectuals.............!!!

    I am not a survivor

    1. I agree that sociopathy it is not taken seriously. I believe it is because it permeates societies and it is condoned by many. And for this reason, nobody cares about what Acons have been through.

    2. Pip,
      There seems to be a conspiracy of silence around parental emotional abuse. It's hard to prove and the bystanders would rather believe the lies and deny reality because that makes it easier for THEM. If they were to acknowledge the abuse then they would have to do something about it, so they just look the other way. I think any adult who KNOWS that a child is in danger and doesn't step in, is collaborating with the child's abusers. They are guilty of aiding and abetting the individual committing the crime against humanity. And yes, this all makes it so much worse. The victim, is essentially shunned for being abused. It's abuse on top of abuse and it is very alienating.

      Sociopaths wear many disguises and they can brilliant at manipulating and conning others. No child can defend themselves against that. Not many adults can. The movement toward public awareness of emotional abuse and the predators in our midst has started and is growing... at least on the internet. Unfortunately, it's just too little too late for many. But I guess we have to start somewhere. I'm sorry for what has happened to you.

  40. Wow! I am blown away by what I have read here. I have a malignant narcissistic twin sister and ex husband. I have read a great deal about them but hearing personal experiences really validates what I have experienced and felt. Not very many believe me...I end up sounding crazy. I could almost cry. I use anonymous to prevent my ex from tying this to me. Though I don't know why a narcissist would be doing on a site like this except to get ammunition to use against his/her target. Sick.

    1. I suppose you are fraternal twins.
      You are normal, your twin is N so do you believe Ns are born rather than made.
      Was you sister always 'different'?

  41. Hello and Thank God for you. It is unbelievable to me that here i am googling happened to me and i am left a shadow of my former self,but recovering. So great to have a blog like this that talks so openly and HONESTLY. 2 things that N's ARE NOT. Cue the saying that in the dark evil festers..lets shed some light on these parasites and expose them for what they are...exactly the antidote to Narcs...EXPOSURE!!!

  42. I've always thought this universe works with some kind of supernatural justice and everyone gets what's coming to them towards the end. These years I learn from family and friends how my MN grandmother is being cruelly abused and exploited by her MN son, my dad's brother. She has lost all her "friends", people who flocked to her for financial gain or prestige, family members she drove away with her malice and contempt even her own husband who cheated on her for more than half of their 50 year long marriage. Once grandpa got to know her, he tried to stay as away from her as he could, even though he fell for her guilt trips later on much more easily. I bet he saw it as a well deserved punishment in the twisted world they had built all around them and in which I grew up being hated from her, because I came out of a woman she also hated, my mother. That's why I believe ultimately they're exposed and humiliated the way they should. It doesn't give me my childhood back, but I can at least revel in this cosmic revenge of some sort.

    1. Olina, FWIW, I've lived long enough now to see "how the story ends" and yes, they are gonna die the way they lived: Parasitic, pissed off and leaving in their wake a life-long, F-5 Path of Destruction. They destroy their families, friendships, employment opportunities and when/if they had any paid minions, once the $$ is gone, so are the minions.
      Ohhh, but wait till you see the "Oh!Bitch!uary! They're priceless in terms of re-written history, delusional "accomplishments" and all manner of self-serving BS. It'd make a fiction writer blush or retain for further instruction as a template for crafting their finest work of fiction-ever! ;)