Showing posts with label Envy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Envy. Show all posts

Friday 1 April 2016

The Sociopath Takes What Doesn't Belong to Her




I write you this letter to explain something to you. You have a serious personality disorder whose very symptoms, paradoxically, may leave you unaware that you have it.

Or, you may be “aware” of your disorder in an “intellectual” sense but consequent to your disorder, you lack appropriate alarm and shame over its expression.

People who do not have your disorder, if they were told they had it (and of its nature), would feel extremely unnerved and shamed to hear this feedback.

You, on the other hand, neither feel nor react with expected levels of uneasiness to learn of your disorder. Your reactions, expressing either calm indifference, an attitude of smug superiority or, alternatively, extreme irritation and indignation, add credence to the diagnosis.

You were probably not “born” with this disorder, but it’s also probable that you brought a biological tendency to it whose eventual emergence your upbringing probably encouraged or elicited.

Your disorder is called a number of different names that can be confusing, among them sociopath, psychopath, antisocial personality disorder, malignant narcissist, and more informal names. Although there may be some useful distinctions between these terms, the confusion they produce probably exceeds the usefulness of these distinctions.

More important are the common elements between them which describe a similar phenomenon – a human being like yourself who, while intellectually aware of common standards and laws of “right and wrong,” nonetheless grossly, chronically violates the boundaries and integrity of others with deficient remorse, deficient empathy, a deficient sense of accountability and, typically, with an attitude of contempt, or indifference towards the experiences and suffering of those you’ve violated.

You might recognize yourself in this description, but you may not. If you do, as I’ve suggested, your recognition of yourself as having this disorder will not produce an appropriate response.

But if you don’t recognize yourself from this description it’s likely to be a function of more than just your denial. Rather, your failure to see yourself, truly, as a sociopath probably reflects to an extent, an aforementioned feature of your disorder: I refer again to your deficient empathy as a consequence of which you are actually incapable of feeling more than superficial, transient concerns about, and remorse for your hurtful impact on others.

It is possible that hurting others is a primary goal but it’s also likely hurting others is a byproduct of your primary aim (and lifelong pattern) of taking something from others that doesn’t belong to you.

In other words, you may or may not intentionally seek to hurt others, but in either case your condition leaves you depleted of normal, inhibiting levels of compassion, sympathy and empathy towards others.

Your disorder has other essential features. The reason you can take from people, steal from them – their property, possessions, money, their dignity, sometimes their lives – and suffer so negligibly, if at all from your abuse of them, is that you do not respect them.

Your condition fundamentally leaves you with a characterological disrespect of others.

You view the world as a competition ground for gratification. People around you are thus players in this metaphorical drama; players from whom your principle inclination is to take, cajole, exploit and manipulate whatever it is that will leave you, not them, in a more comfortable, satiated condition.

You feel that your gratification – your present security, status, satisfaction and entertainment – takes precedence over everyone else’s. Your gratification is simply more important than anything else.

In your mind, you are entitled to the gratification you seek – in whatever forms you presently seek it – even when it costs others a great deal of pain towards which, as we’ve established, you bring a disordered lack of empathy and concern. This is a very twisted notion – specifically, the conviction that your gratification and its pursuit are virtually your inalienable right – a notion that supports the rationalizing of the chronic expression of your abusive, exploitative attitudes and behaviors towards others.

Finally, this makes you, your organized Crime Ring, and any accomplice who carries-out your “assaults” a remorseless violator of innocent people.

In an effort to put a stop to your destructive acts and mitigate injury to others, I am willing to get you help for your severe mental problems.

I have booked you an appointment at the department of criminal psychology at UBC for a formal “diagnosis”, but as you may or may not know, your disorder is notoriously unamenable to known “treatments." 

A more viable option to protect others from your criminal behavior and escalating psychological violence is for you, and your partners in crime, to live out the rest of your miserable days in a cage.  

I will continue to pursue every opportunity available to make sure this happens. 

Monday 1 April 2013

Narcissists Are Attention Whores



ALL Narcissists are big babies. And like babies, they cannot comprehend being anything but the centre of the universe – Wah! Look at me! Narcissists never outgrew the expectation they had as children: that all available attention should be freely lavished on them. And like babies, they cannot comprehend being anything but the centre of the universe – Wah! Look at me! 

Narcissists never outgrew the expectation they had as children: that all available attention should be freely lavished on them. And they approach EVERY relationship with that same infantile expectation. If you married a narcissist then you married a 3 year old – my condolences. If you’re in an Nship then you’re babysitting. If you were parented by a narc then you were treated as a rival. Narcissists are selfish children trapped in the body of an adult. And they are not just immature; they are spoiled brats who are always jockeying for all available attention.


And what does always jockeying for attention make them? That’s right – PREDATORY.  

Here’s one of my favorite quotes from Kathy Krajco. If you get this then “get” the true spirit of the narcissist.  

A Narcissist’s need to “have it all” invests him or her with a spirit hostile to the needs and wellbeing of others.

If you feel a compelling need to have all the dollars in the world, no matter how many you get, you will compete with others for every single one; and if you see a dollar in someone else’s hand, you will want to take it away. Just because he has it. That makes you an ADVERSARY of everyone else in the world. It makes you view the possessor of the dollar as a PREDATOR views prey.

Now just replace “dollar” with “attention.”

When it comes to attention, ALL narcissists are predatory; they ALL go out of their way to con, trick, manipulate, coax, pressure, deceive, maneuver, fight and compete for their most desired source of supply. They really are shameless whores in that regard:  they will spread their proverbial legs just to get a drop of the stuff. To the narcissist, attention is nothing but a form of currency. And you know how some people can be bought with money? Well, narcissists can be bought with attention. The unscrupulous among us “bank” on that fact and heap mounds of attention on the narcissist in exchange for actual cash payments and property.

MN sister preys on aging N father by bombarding him with an excess of attention in the form of over- the-top concern for his health and safety, and complete fascination with his diet, bowel movements and every itch or tick in his body. This scheming MN presents herself to the old N as being utterly captivated by everything he says or does and he rewards her handsomely with money, possessions and property. MN sister knows, if she gives N father the right kind of attention in the right dose; he is putty in her hands and she can control, manipulate and exploit him. In terms of attention for HER, the payoff is getting N father to listen only to her, believe only her, trust only her, and be dependent on her for care, information, and advice etc. MN sister is a crafty bitch who knows exploiting two aging N parent’s is a win win situation. She reaps two of her favorite things out of the deal: ALL of her parent’s undivided attention, and ALL their assets. Narcissists NEVER pay attention to anyone unless they get a return. MN sister’s feigned interest and doting on N father – who she resents – is nothing but a business transaction for the greedy bitch.

So to recap: Narcissists have the mentality of a selfish child playing keep away, and they predate on others and whore themselves in order to gain ATTENTION. And if they're getting all of it, you're getting none of it. They are all alike in this regard: they all have the same goal and they all achieve it by playing for the right reaction from their environment. But since they each inhabit different environments, they each have their own personal strategy: one adapted best to suit the particular attention they crave in a specific milieu.

For example, the attention an MN mother may demand at home is Queen of The Castle, and she may achieve that kind of attention by making her husband and children react to her with fear. But this same MN may crave pity and sympathy from her cronies, so she will extract that kind of attention by playing the martyr and poor, over-worked house wife. And maybe this same MN likes to be respected and admired by members of her volunteer group so she will pull-off contrived acts of do-goodery to score awe and appreciation. In other words, narcissists tailor their attention whoring style to reflect the type of attention they crave in a particular role, rank and position among a particular group, setting, situation or battlefield.

Now, if the narcissist craves a certain kind of attention and is deluded enough to pursue it in an inappropriate setting, then the attention she receives can be downright awkward and embarrassing.
on them.

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Sunday 10 February 2013

Narcissists Are Greedy



One of the most disgusting characteristics of malignant narcissism is insatiable greed.