I am STUNNED on reading this post. you have exactly described my husband's mother. she caused the premature death of her own daughter and is incessantly trying to drive me to suicide. she is providing the encouragement to my one upon a time loving husband to indulge in a macabre affair with a professional hooker.
I have copied this post to my blog and attributes source to your site. Hope it is ok by you. if not, i will take it off my blog on seeing your reply to this. my blog is at http://galbtdt.blogspot.com/
this is the best and most real thing i have ever read about narcissism. i always felt like my ex was like satan walking the earth and i appreciate your validation. i never realized people like this existed. they get away scott free with causing suicide and mental illness because they do it so insidiously
You and i have lived the same life. My description of these freaks, i have described just as in your last paragraph many many times, before i found your posts. You couldn't make this stuff up! God, do i hope your posts serve to help anyone unfortunate enough to have to fight to keep their sanity among these diabolical nut jobs!
Sometimes when I write a post I think I may have gone over the top... but it's true, you can't make this stuff up. Life among these diabolical nut jobs is stranger than fiction and scarier than any Stephen King novel. Though it's unfortunate that we have suffered under the tyranny of these monsters, it's comforting, and liberating to know that we aren't alone and that we survived with our sanity fully intact. The evil malignant narcissists failed miserably in their attempt to destroy us. We are free. Thank you for your comment.
Thank you so much for your articles. It is the exact and precise descriptions i would give of these people too, having come from a family of them. It is too bad These monsters weren't brought to light a long time ago, so we could all have found validation for surviving such a sick, twisted backwards world, these animals brought us in to, and then dared us to survive, or escape them, being able to see how warped, and evil they are. Once we face what they are, they can never give us the pity ploy again, and they make it so so easy to hate and despise them. They then become cockraoches under our feet, which is where they belong!!!!! The truth of what they are makes it easy for once to meet them head on with a big giant NO, with the nastiness they deserve. It is amazing how these repulsive pieces of work will recount their poor miserable childhoods, but not one account of all the abuse along the way they have inflicted on everyone. Some might call it selective memory, i call it pathological liars. I have had one of them tell me that i had better be glad i didn't have to grow up like they did......we came from the same family. And it would be a list as long as my arm of all the physical and psychological abuse this person inflicted on me, which i know he didn't suffer from any of our siblings. They are beyond adding insult to injury. The abuse is unbelievable unless you have lived it, the refusal of the parents to do anything to the people carrying it out is evil. It is one big cluster f..., of insanity. No normal parent would allow their pet to be mistreated, let alone their own children in such a sick, vulgar, abusive, onslaught of insanity. The ones who see reality for what it is, and refuse to live in denial.....the normal ones, suffer the most. what i have learned, is that it is a lot easier for the abusers to live in denial, than it is the ones who suffered the abuse. Then to listen to them deny any of the abuse, is them abusing you all over again. They are the lowest of the loathsome. Please keep on with your articles. With your articles, and the responses to them, may be the only justice we receive in this life from these heartless, mindless, unconscienable, masterminds of evil!!!!! So again, thank you, and may God bless you for taking your time and knowledge to help us all feel validated!!!
I had no idea.... My Mother taught me the 10 commandments when I was little...then broke each one of them in front of me, denying she was lieing, cheating etc.(not kill?emotionally....)while beating me, grounding me,etc. everytime she thought I broke them....it was true insanity,but I thought I was the one insane and worthless..even GOD could not love me according to her.... Just a few years later I married a man who was also an abused child....over the next 25 years....he did the same thing to me...or just kept me stuck in the *this is because of your Mother mode* while he lied and cheated thru our whole marriage.... I have spent a life time ..with people I loved and cared for to a point of me losing my health in my prime years...to people who truly did not care ..except for their own pleasure(no matter what that pleasue was to my cost)....it's heartbreaking.... I'm with professional help now...and seeing what little was left of me...no family to trust,left alone thru divorce,no close friends...yeah suicide......seems right..... BUT NOT FOR ME!!!! IN CHRIST NAME I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY EVIL PERSONIFIED!!!! GOD BLESS YOU BEING HERE!!! LOVE IS LIGHT>>>FOLLOW THE LIGHT!
Thank you for describing what I just went through. It brings peace. No one else really understands. Luckily, this all happened within the context of a long-distance relationship, although the demise of my reputation, from a distance, has been attempted and it took away on year of my sanity, life and career.
Aaah Lisette! I read this last year, and have just re-read it - I sent you an e-mail then to say how much I enjoyed your writing style. I think this post is one of your best..."the total destruction of families and the annihilation of gene pools: they wipe out the next generation" - and the last paragraph - the 'look' is pure genius! I know the 'look' well - you have described it perfectly in all its grotesqueness. My nm's ultimate vile, long term violation has been against me being a mother myself, against my child, trying to make him feel as if he does not exist, playing vicious mind games with me, alienating all other family members (including my sad sap of a father) against us - so I have been a single mum for twenty long years without any family support (naturally my ex was also an N) an outcast. The NM still rings me from time to time, trying to insinuate herself into my life (a version she requires to be edited for her - all the glam bits, and minus child) - for self-preservation I do not comply, but not so long ago I did get the most qrotesque monologue in which she reiterated all the vilest things she has ever said, without remourse, and finished up with a grotesquely delusional self-eulogy. It left me shaking, and still haunts me. Her voice on the phone is like a blast of cold air. I try to handle her as one would a scorpion - bit it can still spit venom from a distance.
This is a really good description of the living ghosts that they are, like vampires, only able to survive by sucking the life-blood from others. It happened to me and my ex-wife too, two of them, a team of two of them ... they ruined our marriage for FUN. My career, ruined. I was imprisoned for fighting back, it cost me all my savings to get out, and I lost my job because of it, ... they drove me insane ... I had to go into the countryside for a year and look at the ocean and the moon and the birds just to calm down and clear my head ... I lost my wife, she attempted suicide when she was pregnant, I went insane from grief and rage at the injustice of what they did to her ... and to me! Sounds pretty bad right? Not as bad as what I did to those two low-life voids .... I did a bit of digging, facebook, myspace, etc ... checked into their histories, unsolved crimes in the vicinity of their previous workplaces, etc ... i got dirt on those two mutants that will see them put away for years, maybe decades .... then when they are sentenced i will be there in the court-house, and it will be my turn to give them "the look".
There is a saying" Revenge is a dish best served cold" Just know that when you take down these demonic freaks of nature your doing it for yourself and every decent human being on the planet.
@Lisette: Can you explain/give more details about the Narcs wanting to end the next generation. I get the jist, however, when you write, things kinda click better for me. My entire FOO is Narcs (except me), so I don't know. I have alot riding on my back.
Anonymous. I have never heard it put this way before. Wanting to end the next generation. It's been right there in front of my face since the beginning and I never worked around to boiling it down like that. But that's really what they are doing aren't they?
They are so evil and they do bring death in many ways! Death of your self-esteem,your right to be a separate being with your own thoughts, ideals and dreams! I'm sure there is no greater high for them than achieving the goal of completely destroying someone in mind,body and soul.
Actually, and I know this sounds terrible-but after what I have been through I am in TOTAL favour of: 1. finding out if narcissism has a genetic basis. 2.if to, to find out if it could be detectable in fetuses or even earlier 3. Pass a law that would force every women to have her prospetive child checked for sociopathy 4.if confirmed, abortion would be MANDATORY
I know, I am evil yada yada yada, but seriously,I dont care AT ALL.
Great article! To all the posts, my life has been destroyed. It has been three years since by run in with a Sociopath. He stole everything from me. I can't say how much I went through to try to put things back together again. Very slowly I am recovering. My life will never be the same. To read the post and articles is helpful to me. I never heard of such evil and how it could enter my life. I am middle age and I have to find new hope,career and more. Good luck to all of you.
I (at the age of 39) have just realised what has been happening to me for 21 years! I thought I was going mad, he made me think I was nuts. But I'm not, I'm damaged but I'm ok. Why is there so little publicly known about NPD? I have lived in hell, I have almost died, my once strong mental health in now in tatters! I believed it was me although I would get clarity some times and have a strong sense it was he doing these things to me. They are so dangerous, evil, sick creatures. They are not human. My nut job drugged me for 3 years with Valium he would stop giving it to me sometimes just to watch me go through withdrawal' I hadn't a clue what was happening to me. This is insanity at its best. These people need to die. Mine will.
This is too true.. I am convinced that my ex MN husband tried to kill our son. He tried, he tried, he tried, pushing me down the stairs, shaking the kid, all the while illiciting symphony for his "fatherly post partem depression" and how he had a "nervous breakdown"..
My kid has not recovered. Since these thing happened when he was a baby, and the stupid judge ORDERED fatherly visitation time, (great, now he was abusing my son without me there).
He has brain damage. He will never be what he is capable of my ex husband finds the whole thing funny. He still jealous of his son, because of what I put into him and how I protect him.
I was the bread winner, and he got mad when I would spend money on our son. After we divorced, he was furious that he was ordered to pay child support, but that soon ended anyway, and I swooped in and got his rights terminated.
Killing the next generation? Yeah, right on! Thats exactly what they are intending.
My NM, is definitely a killer. The book, "People of the Lie" said it best, EVIL is LIVE spelled backwards.
There are three children. My two older brothers are also messed up in the head, GC brother is a drug addict, and my other brother has real mental issues too, and he abuses his wife. He confided in me that he does not want children, because he doesnt want our mother involved in their lives.
I have two children, but I am NC, and my mother is forbidden from any contact with them, but she uses any and every ploy to try.
She forced my father to have this unnecessary dangerous surgery on his kidneys. He was openly against it, as that is what he expressed to me, but my mom was somehow threatening him into it. It was disgusting. the 1st operation was a complete failure, and I was shocked that they tried another one. The second time, my dad almost died, and after I talked to him, he sounded like a puppet, mimicking my moms words, because my mom didnt want everyone to know that she was behind such a stupid stunt. My dad is also an idiot for going along with it.
I think my mom pulled this whole stunt to get sympathy. No one cares about her, but my dad, people seem to be able to tolerate. I guess it worked, because I broke NC to see my dad, but then to actually see the horrors of the stunt my mom pulled, disgusted me more, and I was convinced of the monster that she is actually is.
Now, my father, he is severely mentally impaired, and physically impaired too. My mom is resentful of her caretaker role, and she writes me horrific letters to "support" them. But I would not let that monster into my life in a gazillion years!!!
Your post explains psycho pathy in a way I never understood it to be before. Now I understand how my NM flits from one agenda to the next. There is nothing really going on in her head, she is so cognitively deficient, she doesnt see what an idiot she looks like when she is "feigning emotion" and acting.
But now I understand. Now I understand how she just ignores all her horrors, and treats the person as if they are long lost friends anyway. Or how after abusing her grandchildren, treating herself as grandmother of the year! Its all acting.
For what's it worth- thank you. Right now I am feeling extremely overwhelmed and reading your words (again) offers reassurance that what I'm feeling - my insecurities "is not my fault". Thank you again- and well done.
I am a fking MN and I hate myself beyond words for it. But I can not change, I have killed myself emotionally, ruined my place in society and everything I do is hurting someone. Or if I am doing good to someone, next time - when I will be unable to live up to that person I was for a moment - I cause confusion, hurt and pain.
I can not speak for other narcissists but I hate this condition beyond words.
My former employer to a tee, except they did experience anxiety, depression, etc.
ReplyDeleteI am STUNNED on reading this post. you have exactly described my husband's mother. she caused the premature death of her own daughter and is incessantly trying to drive me to suicide. she is providing the encouragement to my one upon a time loving husband to indulge in a macabre affair with a professional hooker.
ReplyDeleteI have copied this post to my blog and attributes source to your site. Hope it is ok by you. if not, i will take it off my blog on seeing your reply to this.
ReplyDeletemy blog is at http://galbtdt.blogspot.com/
I'm happy to have the information reach as many people as possible. Thanks for letting me know.
ReplyDeletethis is the best and most real thing i have ever read about narcissism. i always felt like my ex was like satan walking the earth and i appreciate your validation. i never realized people like this existed. they get away scott free with causing suicide and mental illness because they do it so insidiously
ReplyDeleteYou and i have lived the same life.
ReplyDeleteMy description of these freaks, i have described just as in your last paragraph many many times, before i found your posts.
You couldn't make this stuff up! God, do i hope your posts serve to help anyone unfortunate enough to have to fight to keep their sanity among these diabolical nut jobs!
Sometimes when I write a post I think I may have gone over the top... but it's true, you can't make this stuff up. Life among these diabolical nut jobs is stranger than fiction and scarier than any Stephen King novel. Though it's unfortunate that we have suffered under the tyranny of these monsters, it's comforting, and liberating to know that we aren't alone and that we survived with our sanity fully intact. The evil malignant narcissists failed miserably in their attempt to destroy us. We are free. Thank you for your comment.
ReplyDeleteThanks.My former subhuman co worker.It"s like you read my mind verbatim.People must be strong and reject these creatures.
ReplyDelete"The narcissists view others as property and will stop at nothing to assume ownership"
ReplyDelete"They get inside the victim's head"
"Munipulators are putting thoughts into our heads that we think are ours"
Yes.....!! Therefore leaving the victim confused and tortured within.
Thank you so much for your articles. It is the exact and precise descriptions i would give of these people too, having come from a family of them. It is too bad These monsters weren't brought to light a long time ago, so we could all have found validation for surviving such a sick, twisted backwards world, these animals brought us in to, and then dared us to survive, or escape them, being able to see how warped, and evil they are. Once we face what they are, they can never give us the pity ploy again, and they make it so so easy to hate and despise them. They then become cockraoches under our feet, which is where they belong!!!!! The truth of what they are makes it easy for once to meet them head on with a big giant NO, with the nastiness they deserve.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how these repulsive pieces of work will recount their poor miserable childhoods, but not one account of all the abuse along the way they have inflicted on everyone. Some might call it selective memory, i call it pathological liars. I have had one of them tell me that i had better be glad i didn't have to grow up like they did......we came from the same family. And it would be a list as long as my arm of all the physical and psychological abuse this person inflicted on me, which i know he didn't suffer from any of our siblings. They are beyond adding insult to injury.
The abuse is unbelievable unless you have lived it, the refusal of the parents to do anything to the people carrying it out is evil. It is one big cluster f..., of insanity. No normal parent would allow their pet to be mistreated, let alone their own children in such a sick, vulgar, abusive, onslaught of insanity.
The ones who see reality for what it is, and refuse to live in denial.....the normal ones, suffer the most. what i have learned, is that it is a lot easier for the abusers to live in denial, than it is the ones who suffered the abuse. Then to listen to them deny any of the abuse, is them abusing you all over again. They are the lowest of the loathsome.
Please keep on with your articles. With your articles, and the responses to them, may be the only justice we receive in this life from these heartless, mindless, unconscienable, masterminds of evil!!!!! So again, thank you, and may God bless you for taking your time and knowledge to help us all feel validated!!!
Anonymous,
DeleteThank you for this Kick Ass comment! You tell it like it is, and your words speak for many of us.
Your timing is impeccable so I might like to blog post your comment and contrast it to an annoying one. Hope you don't mind.
Thanks again!
I had no idea....
ReplyDeleteMy Mother taught me the 10 commandments when I was little...then broke each one of them in front of me, denying she was lieing, cheating etc.(not kill?emotionally....)while beating me, grounding me,etc. everytime she thought I broke them....it was true insanity,but I thought I was the one insane and worthless..even GOD could not love me according to her....
Just a few years later I married a man who was also an abused child....over the next 25 years....he did the same thing to me...or just kept me stuck in the *this is because of your Mother mode* while he lied and cheated thru our whole marriage....
I have spent a life time ..with people I loved and cared for to a point of me losing my health in my prime years...to people who truly did not care ..except for their own pleasure(no matter what that pleasue was to my cost)....it's heartbreaking....
I'm with professional help now...and seeing what little was left of me...no family to trust,left alone thru divorce,no close friends...yeah suicide......seems right.....
BUT NOT FOR ME!!!! IN CHRIST NAME I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY EVIL PERSONIFIED!!!!
GOD BLESS YOU BEING HERE!!!
LOVE IS LIGHT>>>FOLLOW THE LIGHT!
Thank you for describing what I just went through. It brings peace. No one else really understands. Luckily, this all happened within the context of a long-distance relationship, although the demise of my reputation, from a distance, has been attempted and it took away on year of my sanity, life and career.
ReplyDeleteAaah Lisette! I read this last year, and have just re-read it - I sent you an e-mail then to say how much I enjoyed your writing style. I think this post is one of your best..."the total destruction of families and the annihilation of gene pools: they wipe out the next generation" - and the last paragraph - the 'look' is pure genius! I know the 'look' well - you have described it perfectly in all its grotesqueness. My nm's ultimate vile, long term violation has been against me being a mother myself, against my child, trying to make him feel as if he does not exist, playing vicious mind games with me, alienating all other family members (including my sad sap of a father) against us - so I have been a single mum for twenty long years without any family support (naturally my ex was also an N) an outcast. The NM still rings me from time to time, trying to insinuate herself into my life (a version she requires to be edited for her - all the glam bits, and minus child) - for self-preservation I do not comply, but not so long ago I did get the most qrotesque monologue in which she reiterated all the vilest things she has ever said, without remourse, and finished up with a grotesquely delusional self-eulogy. It left me shaking, and still haunts me. Her voice on the phone is like a blast of cold air. I try to handle her as one would a scorpion - bit it can still spit venom from a distance.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good description of the living ghosts that they are, like vampires, only able to survive by sucking the life-blood from others. It happened to me and my ex-wife too, two of them, a team of two of them ... they ruined our marriage for FUN. My career, ruined. I was imprisoned for fighting back, it cost me all my savings to get out, and I lost my job because of it, ... they drove me insane ... I had to go into the countryside for a year and look at the ocean and the moon and the birds just to calm down and clear my head ... I lost my wife, she attempted suicide when she was pregnant, I went insane from grief and rage at the injustice of what they did to her ... and to me!
DeleteSounds pretty bad right?
Not as bad as what I did to those two low-life voids .... I did a bit of digging, facebook, myspace, etc ... checked into their histories, unsolved crimes in the vicinity of their previous workplaces, etc ... i got dirt on those two mutants that will see them put away for years, maybe decades .... then when they are sentenced i will be there in the court-house, and it will be my turn to give them "the look".
"... then when they are sentenced I will be there in the court-house, and it will be my turn to give then "the look".
DeleteWow. I've had fantasies of just that. It's about exposure and making the MNs pay for their crimes.
I hope you see some semblance of justice and I really hope the last thing those two low-life voids see from you is "the look".
There is a saying" Revenge is a dish best served cold" Just know that when you take down these demonic freaks of nature your doing it for yourself and every decent human being on the planet.
Delete@Lisette: Can you explain/give more details about the Narcs wanting to end the next generation. I get the jist, however, when you write, things kinda click better for me. My entire FOO is Narcs (except me), so I don't know. I have alot riding on my back.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
Anonymous. I have never heard it put this way before. Wanting to end the next generation. It's been right there in front of my face since the beginning and I never worked around to boiling it down like that.
ReplyDeleteBut that's really what they are doing aren't they?
Damn. I commented first and read your post after. Kick ass Lisette. Kick ass post.
ReplyDeleteThey are so evil and they do bring death in many ways! Death of your self-esteem,your right to be a separate being with your own thoughts, ideals and dreams! I'm sure there is no greater high for them than achieving the goal of completely destroying someone in mind,body and soul.
ReplyDeleteThe 'look'.....ah yes, 'SMUG' :)
ReplyDeleteActually, and I know this sounds terrible-but after what I have been through I am in TOTAL favour of: 1. finding out if narcissism has a genetic basis.
ReplyDelete2.if to, to find out if it could be detectable in fetuses or even earlier
3. Pass a law that would force every women to have her prospetive child checked for sociopathy
4.if confirmed, abortion would be MANDATORY
I know, I am evil yada yada yada, but seriously,I dont care AT ALL.
Is it evil to eradicate a disease? I think not! This is one example of the end justifying the means.
DeleteGreat article! To all the posts, my life has been destroyed. It has been three years since by run in with a Sociopath. He stole everything from me. I can't say how much I went through to try to put things back together again. Very slowly I am recovering. My life will never be the same. To read the post and articles is helpful to me. I never heard of such evil and how it could enter my life. I am middle age and I have to find new hope,career and more. Good luck to all of you.
ReplyDeleteI (at the age of 39) have just realised what has been happening to me for 21 years! I thought I was going mad, he made me think I was nuts. But I'm not, I'm damaged but I'm ok. Why is there so little publicly known about NPD? I have lived in hell, I have almost died, my once strong mental health in now in tatters! I believed it was me although I would get clarity some times and have a strong sense it was he doing these things to me. They are so dangerous, evil, sick creatures. They are not human. My nut job drugged me for 3 years with Valium he would stop giving it to me sometimes just to watch me go through withdrawal' I hadn't a clue what was happening to me. This is insanity at its best. These people need to die. Mine will.
ReplyDeleteThis is too true.. I am convinced that my ex MN husband tried to kill our son. He tried, he tried, he tried, pushing me down the stairs, shaking the kid, all the while illiciting symphony for his "fatherly post partem depression" and how he had a "nervous breakdown"..
ReplyDeleteMy kid has not recovered. Since these thing happened when he was a baby, and the stupid judge ORDERED fatherly visitation time, (great, now he was abusing my son without me there).
He has brain damage. He will never be what he is capable of my ex husband finds the whole thing funny. He still jealous of his son, because of what I put into him and how I protect him.
I was the bread winner, and he got mad when I would spend money on our son. After we divorced, he was furious that he was ordered to pay child support, but that soon ended anyway, and I swooped in and got his rights terminated.
Killing the next generation? Yeah, right on! Thats exactly what they are intending.
My NM, is definitely a killer. The book, "People of the Lie" said it best, EVIL is LIVE spelled backwards.
ReplyDeleteThere are three children. My two older brothers are also messed up in the head, GC brother is a drug addict, and my other brother has real mental issues too, and he abuses his wife. He confided in me that he does not want children, because he doesnt want our mother involved in their lives.
I have two children, but I am NC, and my mother is forbidden from any contact with them, but she uses any and every ploy to try.
She forced my father to have this unnecessary dangerous surgery on his kidneys. He was openly against it, as that is what he expressed to me, but my mom was somehow threatening him into it. It was disgusting. the 1st operation was a complete failure, and I was shocked that they tried another one. The second time, my dad almost died, and after I talked to him, he sounded like a puppet, mimicking my moms words, because my mom didnt want everyone to know that she was behind such a stupid stunt. My dad is also an idiot for going along with it.
I think my mom pulled this whole stunt to get sympathy. No one cares about her, but my dad, people seem to be able to tolerate. I guess it worked, because I broke NC to see my dad, but then to actually see the horrors of the stunt my mom pulled, disgusted me more, and I was convinced of the monster that she is actually is.
Now, my father, he is severely mentally impaired, and physically impaired too. My mom is resentful of her caretaker role, and she writes me horrific letters to "support" them. But I would not let that monster into my life in a gazillion years!!!
Your post explains psycho pathy in a way I never understood it to be before. Now I understand how my NM flits from one agenda to the next. There is nothing really going on in her head, she is so cognitively deficient, she doesnt see what an idiot she looks like when she is "feigning emotion" and acting.
But now I understand. Now I understand how she just ignores all her horrors, and treats the person as if they are long lost friends anyway. Or how after abusing her grandchildren, treating herself as grandmother of the year! Its all acting.
For what it's worth - thank you. I am feeling extremely overwhelmed right now and reading this helps.
ReplyDeleteFor what's it worth- thank you. Right now I am feeling extremely overwhelmed and reading your words (again) offers reassurance that what I'm feeling - my insecurities "is not my fault". Thank you again- and well done.
ReplyDeleteI am a fking MN and I hate myself beyond words for it. But I can not change, I have killed myself emotionally, ruined my place in society and everything I do is hurting someone. Or if I am doing good to someone, next time - when I will be unable to live up to that person I was for a moment - I cause confusion, hurt and pain.
ReplyDeleteI can not speak for other narcissists but I hate this condition beyond words.