Showing posts with label Greed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Greed. Show all posts

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Secret Treacheries of Covert Narcissist Siblings





Secret Treacheries of Covert Narcissistic Siblings
By
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. Narcissistic Personality Clinical Expert


Treachery is a mortal betrayal of trust, especially among family members. Covert narcissists are sly, smooth and sneaky–very difficult to detect.

When the Covert Narcissist is your sibling, you are destined to have a painful and tumultuous relationship with him/her. (This post refers to male and female covert narcissists). This is particularly galling if the sibling is the golden child of the family, the chosen one who can do no wrong, always wins and wears the family crown from birth. Mother and father never corrected their “darling” since he was viewed and treated as perfect–someone for you to emulate.

The life stories I hear from children who have had covert narcissistic siblings are horrific. From the beginning the scapegoated child was at the mercy of the covert sibling who taunted, tricked, terrified and threatened his victim. There are scenes of a small child being locked in a closet for hours while parents were away or oblivious. Getting pinched, scratched, smacked, dragged was the order of the day in some households. Of course the perpetrator was never caught and if it was obvious that the golden monster was guilty, the parent covered it up and in some instances blamed the victimized child for simply being present.

As the covert narcissistic sibling reaches adulthood, the psychopathology remains unchanged and the victimization of the sibling continues in a cruel, cunning form. Narcissists are often obsessed with money–It is their god, their compass, their identity. They are convinced that any assets belonging to the parents belong to them alone. They spend years plotting how they will pilfer every cent belonging to the parents, leaving the other siblings without a penny.  I have witnessed this behavior often; it is ugly and dark. The covert narcissist through a series of cunning maneuvers gains control of the family estate. Over time, using pseudo charm and empathy with just the right vintage of pressure and intimidation, convinces the parents that he is the only family member who can be trusted with financial matters. By the time that the other siblings discover that they have been divested of their inheritance, it is too late.

Narcissistic siblings stop at nothing to snatch the gold, the cash, the property, the jewelry, stocks, trusts, etc. Nothing slows them down. They are giddy grabbing the loot. They are devoid of shame, conscience or mercy. In the aftermath the sibling(s) on the losing end is shocked, exhausted and depleted. In some cases these individuals develop health problems as a result of the severe chronic stress of coping with the emotional, psychological and financial treacheries of the covert sibling.

Knowing now that your sibling has a severe personality disturbance is the beginning of unraveling, healing and reconstituting yourself. The first step is to appreciate that young child who survived despite the painful treacherous years and the innumerable ordeals and traumas that you experienced.

Recognize the strength and courage of your true self and know now that you will continue to heal, grow and evolve. Put yourself first and take time each day to move into the calming part of the nervous system where you feel deep inner peace. Get the nourishment, sleep, downtime, creative time, fun time that you need and deserve.



Friday, 3 March 2017

The Sociopath Takes What She Wants


The “sociopath,” boiled down, is someone who routinely does, and takes, what she wants, unconcerned with the impact of her behavior on others. Nothing in my mind defines her essence more than this concise, factual description. She is rather unique, and thus diagnosable as a sociopath, to this precise extent. 

Sure, we’ve discussed this before, but it always merits, in my view, fresh reconsideration. And so let me add, I think, an important caveat: The sociopath doesn’t necessarily feel she has the “right” to what she’s pursuing, or planning to take.

Rather, she doesn’t feel she needs the right. She just needs the want.
Simply wanting what she wants, with or without the right to it, meets her standard for laying claim to her quarry.

Because after all, you may ask the sociopath, “Did you have a ‘right’ to take that? To steal it?” And she may answer, with intellectual honesty, “No. I realize, intellectually, that I had no right to what I took.”

Which gets to the nub, the essence, of her condition: Her “right” to what she wanted wasn’t relevant, didn’t even enter her thinking; rather, her wanting it was the sole factor necessary to support her comfortable, non-conflictual pursuit of it.

To sum up, the sociopath’s disordered essence is captured best in her pattern of taking, without remorse, what intellectually she may very well know doesn’t belong to hershe has no right to it—yet she takes it anyway.

To be clear: when I say that the sociopath intellectually can understand she may lack the “right” to what he’s taking, I’m not suggesting that she lacks a sense of entitlement. Quite the contrary: her sense of entitlement is all the more astounding for her intellectual awareness that she may lack the “right” to what she wants, yet still takes it. In doing so, she is exhibiting self-entitlement, and attitudes of contempt, in their gaudiest, most audacious forms.

One always must beware of oversimplifying complicated concepts. The sociopath’s disorder is complex on many levels. Yet on some levels the sociopath’s mentality isn’t so complicated at all. In some respects it’s pretty simple.

In this article I suggest the sociopath is, essentially, that strange, disconcerting, disruptive individual with a history, and pattern, of taking from others what doesn’t belong to her with an impoverished sense of shame and remorse. When you confront an individual with this history and pattern, you are dealing with a sociopath.


Source Steve Becker, LCSW. 

DID A SOCIOPATH LOOT YOUR FAMILY'S ESTATE? 

Saturday, 24 December 2016

Malignant Narcissist Mother Sent Me A Christmas Greeting




It’s that special time of year again. Time of peace on earth and goodwill toward men. It’s also the time of year malignant narcissists across the land rear their ugly heads with intimidation and control tactics. It’s the time of the year the malignant narcissist’s fangs come out.  It’s the time of year the malignant narcissists ramp-up their bullying and abuse. It’s the time of year the greedy, scheming, thieving malignant narcissists work overtime to cover-up their crimes and vilify the whistleblower.

Christmas eve 2008, I discovered the malignant narcissist sister and malignant narcissist mother had been cyberstalking me and gaslighting me on ACON Blogs for over a year. When I telephoned MN sister to inquire about my discovery, she called the police on me, told them I was "mentally ill" and "violent" and that I "threatened" her and the MN mother. She told my dad I called her up crying asking for help. She told my neighbors that I was off "medication." Three different stories. I guess the lying bitch just couldn't make-up her mind which angle to work.

Fast forward to the present: Christmas 2016, I discover the malignant narcissist sister has stolen over one million dollars in assets from my late father’s estate. Yup, you read that right. The malignant narcissist sister has STOLEN over $1 million dollars from an estate that is to be divided equally 3 ways. This includes real estate, cash, and personal property. And that’s only what I know about! I suspect the grand total of the theft is much higher. What this means is she has given most of what should be in the pot to herself and screwed me and my brother out of our fair share. I also suspect she has floated the MN mother and MN flying Monkey large lumps of cash along with countless possessions from the estate. There is nothing left as far as my dad’s personal belongings go. She took it all. I got a big fat zero. And the money the MN witch didn’t steal she spent, and what she didn’t spend she squandered because she would much rather see funds go to waste then go to me. The bitch is a criminal and she has fucked with my future.  


So, in the midst of dealing with the cruel way the MN sister informed me of my father’s death (through a callously indifferent cold hearted low-life lawyer) and while I was coming to terms with the fact that I was not told that my dad had died until 9 days after the fact, and while I was in the process of still grieving the loss, I learn the malignant narcissist sister has stolen over $1 million dollars worth of assets from the estate and screwed me out of my inheritance.

Then my late father’s birthday rolled around. Then I met with a lawyer to decide what course of action to take against the MN sister and her organized crime ring. Then I leave the MN mother a few voicemail messages saying she must be so proud of her frankendaughter for abusing and exploiting a defenseless old man and stealing her sister and brother’s inheritance.  I also let the MN mother know that I am well aware that she is harboring stolen property; property that should form part of the estate and rightfully go to the beneficiaries (me and my brother). Letting that witch have it was worth breaking 26 years no contact.

The next night Coppers pounded on my door at 11:30pm and woke me up from my slumber. I was not surprised at all. I almost said, “What took you so long?"" and "You got the wrong guy. It's the little old granny who made the call that you want. She's housing stolen loot in the party room of her senior living complex, and her condo is a safe house for criminals.

Yup, the malignant narcissist mother and MN sister called the cops on me for getting upset about their million dollars plus heist. So just like 8 years ago when they called the cops on me because I caught them in the process of criminally harassing me; they called the police on me because I caught them looting my dad’s estate. Typical fucking MN criminals. The Coppers told me that the MNs didn't want me to communicate with them, including through third parties. I said, "You mean like the way they are now communicating with me through a third-party?" Typical idiotic MN projection machines.

I let the coppers know what the MN mother and sister are all about and I went back to bed. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to those two. The malignant narcissist hags framing me as the bad guy to take the heat off themselves is standard fare. They are absolutely delusional to think they will get away with it. But malignant narcissists truly believe they can transgress others in every conceivable way with immunity.  We’ll see about that. The last message I left to the MN mother was, “See you in court, bitches!” The fight to expose the malignant narcissists is now taking place in the arena of real life. I tell ya, the second book I’m working on is writing itself.

Speaking of books, you can purchase a copy of Breaking Free paperback HERE and the House of Mirrors e-books HERE and HERE . 

And please know that for every book purchased a malignant narcissist receives a metaphorical brick through their window. 

                                                                  

Friday, 1 April 2016

The Sociopath Takes What Doesn't Belong to Her




I write you this letter to explain something to you. You have a serious personality disorder whose very symptoms, paradoxically, may leave you unaware that you have it.

Or, you may be “aware” of your disorder in an “intellectual” sense but consequent to your disorder, you lack appropriate alarm and shame over its expression.

People who do not have your disorder, if they were told they had it (and of its nature), would feel extremely unnerved and shamed to hear this feedback.

You, on the other hand, neither feel nor react with expected levels of uneasiness to learn of your disorder. Your reactions, expressing either calm indifference, an attitude of smug superiority or, alternatively, extreme irritation and indignation, add credence to the diagnosis.

You were probably not “born” with this disorder, but it’s also probable that you brought a biological tendency to it whose eventual emergence your upbringing probably encouraged or elicited.

Your disorder is called a number of different names that can be confusing, among them sociopath, psychopath, antisocial personality disorder, malignant narcissist, and more informal names. Although there may be some useful distinctions between these terms, the confusion they produce probably exceeds the usefulness of these distinctions.

More important are the common elements between them which describe a similar phenomenon – a human being like yourself who, while intellectually aware of common standards and laws of “right and wrong,” nonetheless grossly, chronically violates the boundaries and integrity of others with deficient remorse, deficient empathy, a deficient sense of accountability and, typically, with an attitude of contempt, or indifference towards the experiences and suffering of those you’ve violated.

You might recognize yourself in this description, but you may not. If you do, as I’ve suggested, your recognition of yourself as having this disorder will not produce an appropriate response.

But if you don’t recognize yourself from this description it’s likely to be a function of more than just your denial. Rather, your failure to see yourself, truly, as a sociopath probably reflects to an extent, an aforementioned feature of your disorder: I refer again to your deficient empathy as a consequence of which you are actually incapable of feeling more than superficial, transient concerns about, and remorse for your hurtful impact on others.

It is possible that hurting others is a primary goal but it’s also likely hurting others is a byproduct of your primary aim (and lifelong pattern) of taking something from others that doesn’t belong to you.

In other words, you may or may not intentionally seek to hurt others, but in either case your condition leaves you depleted of normal, inhibiting levels of compassion, sympathy and empathy towards others.

Your disorder has other essential features. The reason you can take from people, steal from them – their property, possessions, money, their dignity, sometimes their lives – and suffer so negligibly, if at all from your abuse of them, is that you do not respect them.

Your condition fundamentally leaves you with a characterological disrespect of others.

You view the world as a competition ground for gratification. People around you are thus players in this metaphorical drama; players from whom your principle inclination is to take, cajole, exploit and manipulate whatever it is that will leave you, not them, in a more comfortable, satiated condition.

You feel that your gratification – your present security, status, satisfaction and entertainment – takes precedence over everyone else’s. Your gratification is simply more important than anything else.

In your mind, you are entitled to the gratification you seek – in whatever forms you presently seek it – even when it costs others a great deal of pain towards which, as we’ve established, you bring a disordered lack of empathy and concern. This is a very twisted notion – specifically, the conviction that your gratification and its pursuit are virtually your inalienable right – a notion that supports the rationalizing of the chronic expression of your abusive, exploitative attitudes and behaviors towards others.

Finally, this makes you, your organized Crime Ring, and any accomplice who carries-out your “assaults” a remorseless violator of innocent people.

In an effort to put a stop to your destructive acts and mitigate injury to others, I am willing to get you help for your severe mental problems.

I have booked you an appointment at the department of criminal psychology at UBC for a formal “diagnosis”, but as you may or may not know, your disorder is notoriously unamenable to known “treatments." 

A more viable option to protect others from your criminal behavior and escalating psychological violence is for you, and your partners in crime, to live out the rest of your miserable days in a cage.  

I will continue to pursue every opportunity available to make sure this happens. 

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Malignant Narcissists Groom Their Prey For Maximum Exploitation



I like this image of the Big Bad Wolf because it is right on point with what the malignant narcissist predator is all about. The Wolf is dangling a bare bone while gripping a fork. This is exactly what the MN predator does; they toss their prey a “meatless” bone to lure them in, so THEY can feed. The bone may as well be rubber because what the malignant narcissist uses to bait the victim is worthless, it’s FAKE, there’s no substance to it, it’s all on the level of pretense, and it’s called “Grooming” - a predatory act of maneuvering prey into a trap.
I came across a description of “Grooming” on Out of the Fog and was amazed at how perfectly it describes the predation of malignant narcissist/psychopath sister AND MN mother on my N dad. But before we get to the description, let me begin with my experiences of being “groomed” by a narcissist.

Done. I have none. Grooming doesn’t work on me. Why? Probably because I was raised in captivity with three narcissists, I was out numbered, and I had to carefully study how the eco-system of the narc jungle functions in order to survive. If I fell prey to manipulation tactics such as grooming, I would have been chewed-up and spat out before I reached my teens.  
I recall one New Year’s Eve, I was home watching TV, and at the stroke of midnight malignant narcissist sister and her friend grabbed a bunch of pots and pans from the kitchen and went out onto the street and banged the living shit out of them. When malignant narcissist mother discovered that her pots and pans were dented and chipped she was furious. MN sister couldn’t pin this one on me because my parents came home while she was making a racket throughout the neighborhood and they caught her walk through the door pot handed. What happened next was something my 15 year old self put in the narcissist behavioral data bank.

Initially MN mother became angry at MN sister and bitched and moaned about her precious pots and pans, but that wasn’t the end of it. The next day, MN mother did some role reversing and tried to employ a divide and conquer technique. She “acted” as if my sister was invisible and went into full-on grooming/engulf mode with ME. Normally she didn’t acknowledge my existence, but now she was doing the human version of a picking through my hair. Because this was so out of character for her, I immediately recognized that she was working an angle – all this doting was to make my sister jealous. I was merely a pawn in her sick little game. It was almost laughable how she timed things. For example, MN sister would walk by, or enter the room I was in, and like magic, MN mother would appear and ask me in a sickly syrupy voice if I needed anything. This was quite a departure from her evil glares, hissing and threats to annihilate me. It was truly cringe worthy. Eventually MN mother realized I wasn’t taking the bait and she defaulted to her regular MN mother position – ignoring, neglectful, resentful.

saw the hypocrisy and bizarre connections in MN mother’s actions. MN sister could bash me all she wanted and no one would care, but heaven forbid MN sister bash-up something of value, like a pot or a pan, then MN mother was going to make her pay by lavishing me (the human version of the dented object) with all kinds of contrived attention. From what I remember, that was the only time MN sister ever received anything resembling “punishment” but it had no effect on her, especially since MN mother’s show closed after only one performance.  
I learned at a young age not to trust smooth talking hustler types. I learned to experience effusiveness as off-putting. I have a few other experiences in life with narcissists who tried to lure me in this manner and failed miserably, BUT I have many many more experiences with narcissists who were critical, indifferent, neglectful, completely self-absorbed and made me feel “not good enough” who succeeded with me. 



Grooming is an extremely predatory act, so it’s the very dangerous among us (the evil) who employ this tactic. Both my malignant narcissist mother and malignant narcissist sister are predators: they go out of their way to find vulnerable prey to exploit/feed on. My father is a narcissist, bordering on malignant, but he is not a predator. In fact, my father has been preyed on repeatedly by malignant narcissist women. If you think all narcissists are immune to the predatory tactics of highly malignant narcissists, think again. Being a narcissist with an addiction to narc supply is a big button.
In his book Without Conscience, The Disturbing World Of The Psychopaths Among us, Dr. Robert. D. Hare describes how these predators seek out our buttons to press.

If you have any weak spots in your psychological makeup, a psychopath is sure to find and exploit them, leaving you hurt and bewildered. The examples below illustrate the uncanny ability of psychopaths to detect our vulnerabilities and to push our buttons.  
In an interview, one of our psychopaths, a con artist, said candidly, “When I’m on the job the first thing I do is I size you up. I look for an angle, an edge, figure out what you need and give it to you. Then it’s pay-back time, with interest. I tighten the screws.” 
The callous use of the lonely is a trademark of psychopaths. Psychopaths have no hesitation in making use of people’s need to find a purpose in their lives, or in preying on the confused, the frail, and the helpless.
One of our subject carefully studied newspaper obituaries, looking for elderly people who had just lost a spouse and who had no remaining family members. In one case, posing as a “grief counselor,” he persuaded a seventy-year-old widow to give him power of attorney over her affairs. His scheme fell apart only because an alert church minister became suspicious, checked up on the impostor, and learned that he was a convicted swindler out on parole. “She was lonely, and I was attempting to bring some joy into her life,” said our subject.

Malignant narcissist mother has been mentoring MN sister in the black art of predation her entire life. I can just imagine the dialogue during one of her “grooming” coaching sessions. MN mother blows her whistles, gets up in MN sister’s face and says firmly, “Make sure you are a part of your father’s life, especially as he gets older. You need to stay close to him because you never know who will try and take advantage of him.”
Translation: “Take advantage of your father’s vulnerabilities in old age. Make him dependent on you, take away his freedom, isolate him, control his mind and bleed him dry before he dies.”

The years MN sister has spent plotting, scheming and “grooming” N father have all been leading up to that moment where she gains absolute power and control over him – that time has come. And I’m convinced MN mother and MN sister view enslaving N father and draining the life out of him as justified as opposed to murdering him. Even in the animal kingdom the prey doesn’t need to be dead to be fed on. 

PURCHASE A COPY OF HOUSE OF MIRRORS EBOOK AND PAPERBACK HERE!

Outwardly it would appear that MN sister is succeeding at her assignment. She obtained POWER of attorney over N father, shoved him in a tiny assisted living home, and took everything he had away from him, including his freedom and his dignity. She’s squeezed him hollow and filled him with herself. Every aspect of his life is under MN sister’s control. She watches, monitors, intercepts and blocks his communication and has him so brainwashed and psychologically feeble that he needs her to tell him what to do.

MN mother must be gloating. It’s been her life work to train her malignant daughter to imprison her father and exploit him. My parents have been divorced for 30 years, but MN mother is still out to dominate N father and control him till his last dying day. The fact that MN sister is carrying out her will is of no consequence – they (MN mother and MN sister) are one person. MN mother uses MN daughter to abuse N father, MN sister uses N father to abuse normal sister (me). I’ve watched with fascination as history has repeated itself. The same shit that went down at the end of my Narcissist parent’s marriage, is the same shit that is going down at the end of their lives. The big shark eats the smaller shark, the smaller shark eats the smallest shark, the smallest shark eats the fish.  
What’s interesting here is this: MN mother would NEVER hand control of her life over to evil frankendaughter. No way! She knows better – she trained her vile daughter to look out for number one, and win at all costs. It’s a case of the master training the pupil, and the pupil becoming more dangerous than the master. Even though MN mother and MN sister are thick as thieves, there is NO honor among malignant narcissist thieves. They don’t trust each other, and why should they? They BOTH have a strong need for psychological and physical control over others, and they both know what the other is capable of. They are both highly skilled manipulators and predators who “groom” their prey for maximum exploitation. MN mother groomed MN sister to a life of bondage, and now MN sister has imprisoned N dad and groomed him to be a puppet on her string. 

Grooming - Grooming is the predatory act of maneuvering another individual into a position that makes them more isolated, dependent, likely to trust, and more vulnerable to abusive behavior.
Description: Grooming is an insidious predatory tactic, utilized by abusers. Grooming is practiced by Narcissists, Antisocial predators, con-artists and sexual aggressors, who target and manipulate vulnerable people for exploitation.

Child grooming is the deliberate act of establishing an emotional bond with a child, to lower the child's resistance. Child grooming can result in the minor falling victim to physical, sexual and emotional abuse, or specifically, to manipulate children into participating in slave labor, prostitution, and/or the production of child pornography.
Adult grooming is correspondent to child grooming and applies to any situation where an adult is primed to allow him or herself to be exploited or abused. While it is a common assumption that grooming is only practiced on the very young, identical emotional and psychological processes are commonly used to abuse or exploit adults, the elderly, and those with compromised mental facilities.

A predator will identify and engage a victim and work to gain the target’s trust, break down defenses, and manipulate the victim until they get whatever it is they are after.

The hallmarks of grooming are overt attention, verbal seduction (flattery / ego stroking), recruitment, physical isolation, charm, gift-giving, normalizing, gaslighting, secrecy, and threats.

  • Abusers who groom their victims often claim to have a special connection with the abused. The so-called connection might be emotional, intellectual, sexual, spiritual, or all of the above. This is often backed up by the predator echoing back part of the target's own background or story, altered to fit the groomer’s back-story, in order to confirm the connection.
  • In order to abuse or exploit another person without fear of discovery, a sexual predator or con artist will frequently condition their intended victim to keep secrets for them. When building this bond of trust, an abuser may share seemingly personal or private information, and then swear the victim to secrecy. The victim is made to believe that they are being trusted with something of value, before being asked to share something of value with his/her abuser.
  • Abusers use shared secrets to bind their victims to them. By degrees, the target is gradually lured in to revealing private information, giving up money, property or sexual favors, or permitting /engaging in inappropriate, unsafe, or illegal behaviors.
  • The victim is often drawn in to being a "co-conspirator” (also known as forced teaming) with his or her abuser.
  • Eventually, the bond of secrecy is nearly always reinforced with threats, shaming and guilt to keep the victim silent about his or her shared crimes or misdeeds.
Who are the victims of grooming? Men. Women. Children. Young adults. The middle-aged. The elderly. The lonely and the emotionally compromised. Those whose defenses are down. Anyone with soft boundaries. In short: There is no prototypical victim. Almost anyone can be vulnerable to grooming. Predators are practiced, and extremely good at what they do. Those who are not, tend to get caught. Those who get caught, tend to learn from their mistakes, and refine their techniques. You don’t have to be especially gullible to fall victim to grooming, but if you learn the signs, you can successfully identify a potential abuser, and avoid exploitation:

  • Predators work in the shadows, and have something to hide.
  • Predators claim to feel a "special connection" with their targets, even if they've only just met.
  • Predators recruit co-conspirators (forced teaming) to fight their battles and do their bidding.
  • Predators draw their victims in by sharing private information then swearing them to secrecy.
  • Predators practice divide and conquer techniques in order to manipulate others.
Examples of Grooming:

  • An individual who lures lonely or vulnerable people into a relationship in order to position themselves for monetary gain.
  • An adult in a position of authority who uses their status to entice minor children into engaging in sexual activity.
  • Anyone who manufactures a (false) bond of trust in order to extract promises or favors from another.
What it feels like:

Grooming can feel exhilarating – at first. The predator employs attentiveness, sensitivity, (false) empathy and plenty of positive reinforcement to seduce their victim. For their part, victims can be so enthralled with, or overwhelmed by the attention they are receiving; they will often overlook or ignore red flags that might alert them that the person who is showering them with that attention is somehow “off”.

Little by little, the abuser breaks through a victim’s natural defenses, gains trust, and manipulates or coerces the victim into doing his/her bidding. The victim finds themselves willingly handing over money or assets, engaging in inappropriate, illegal or morally ambiguous actives, or acting as a proxy for the abuser, fighting the abuser’s battles, and carrying out their will.
The victim often feels confusion, shame, guilt, remorse and disgust at his or her own participation. Equally powerful, is the panic that comes with the threat of being exposed for engaging these activities. There may also an overwhelming fear of losing the emotional bond that has been established with an abuser. The victim becomes trapped, depressed or despondent.

The victim becomes trapped, depressed or despondent.”
"Predators recruit co-conspirators (forced teaming) to fight their battles and do their bidding.”

“Eventually, the bond of secrecy is nearly always reinforced with threats, shaming and guilt to keep the victim silent about his or her shared crimes or misdeed.”

“Predators work in the shadows, and have something to hide.”

MN sister’s relationship with her dad is identical to his marriages to cruel, greedy, controlling, manipulative, mentally deranged women. She’s like a combination of both ex-wives on steroids. The whole thing is very creepy. What is MN sister hiding? Same thing she has always been hiding – financial exploitation, that’s the socially unacceptable crime. But what’s the more insidious crime here? Elder abuse would be the obvious answer, but that’s not it. What is MN sister really hiding? I believe it’s her twisted fixation to control, dominate, and enslave another human being. MN sister is a pervert with the same psychological mindset as a serial killer or a pedophile. Absolute power over another is MN sister's secret vice. Her monkey Lloyd, though mutually parasitic, is bound to a life of captivity, and now so is my dad.  
I have watched this horror show unfold from a distance, and everything listed in the description of grooming, I have seen play out. I have to say, things are looking pretty bleak for the narcissists, maybe not at first glance, but I believe there is something at work and it’s NOT something I have any control over.

My father has been reduced to nothing, and my sister has total power over him. He is being exploited by MN sister, her flying monkey, and his ex-wife. It’s a disturbing relationship between four disturbed individuals. Whether N father realizes it or not, he has been lured into a trap and this is the most horrific position for someone who is vulnerable to be in. But vulnerability is what makes the malignant narcissist’s fangs come out. It’s at the height of the victim’s vulnerability that the MN predator goes in for the kill and wages the final assault.

It would appear he was lured and trapped by MN sister because he’s a slave to his narcissism. He craves narcissistic supply and she provides it. He’s an addict, she’s a pusher. It may even appear that he was blinded by his narcissism. I mean, did it ever occur to him that his greedy, manipulative, evil malignant daughter who HE enabled to blatantly abuse me, and who he plotted, schemed, and conspired with to betray me, wouldn't turn around and do the same thing to him? It’s the story of the frog and the scorpion. MN sister is a dangerous predator – that’s her nature. 
After 17 years of no contact with her, there was a brief period of telephone contact and during one of our conversations she remarked, “Dad has a dark side. It’s SO easy to use the power of suggestion on him.” OK. That is partly projection, but there’s also truth in that statement. It’s the case of an evil person recognizing a “dark side” in a weaker person and exploiting it for her own gain. So is it an accident that my dad handed over his life to his evil daughter, and boarded a slow boat to hell?  

In Anna V’s article Dancing With The Devil, she had this to say about adults who enter into relationships with evil:
“Peck (author of People of The Lie) asserts that adults do not accidentally end up in close relationships with evil people. He uses the term “willing thralldom.” (note the word “enthralled” is used to describe the victim’s reaction “grooming”).

Peck relates his experience with a very disturbed (and disturbing) couple -- Sarah and Hartley. In the context of this story he states:
"We do not become partners to evil by accident. As adults we are not forced by fate to become trapped by an evil power, we set the trap ourselves." pg. 118

Referring to Hartley:
"Theoretically he could have just walked away from Sarah. But he had bound himself to her by chains of laziness and dependency, and though titularly an adult, he had settled for the child's impotence. Whenever adults not at gunpoint become victims of evil it is because they have--one way or another--made Hartley's bargain." pg. 119-120

The bargain was to settle into a type of slavery because his moral laziness and dependency was a larger part of his character than not. 
"He entered into a submissive relationship with evil precisely because he was partially evil himself." (footnote pg. 118)

Anna states that adults who enter into relationships with evil have a part of them that is “comfortable” and “at home” with the evil. She goes on to say:
“It is not always possible for someone outside a relationship to know how the two parties are mutually benefiting from the relationship. Outwardly we may conclude we are seeing two opposites. We have to avoid this kind of simplistic acceptance of outward appearances when we observe a relationship between adults who have chosen to be together and who hang together tenaciously. One person may appear to be evil and the other "in thralldom" to the partner's evil. We must accept the reality they are both evil though likely not equally so.

No adult stays "in thralldom" to evil except by a choice of the will.

Don't make excuses for yourself or for others for staying in close relationship with evil people. Recognize the dynamic of symbiosis that is occurring. Unless an adult is physically being held hostage, that adult has a choice as to whether or not to stay in association with an evil character. Knowing this to be true, do not attempt to "rescue" someone who is dancing in lock-step with a narcissist. They must be avoided along with the narcissist because they are morally compromised. Whether due to laziness, psychological dependence, greed, shared power...adults stay in relationship with evil people because they choose to. They feel they have something to gain by the association. Acknowledge to yourself this reality and live accordingly.”

I believe my dad has been played, groomed, hustled and conned and used as a receptacle to contain and eject MN sister and MN mother's hatred of me. But I also believe he has chosen - despite his conscious awareness of all of their wrongdoing - to stay in collusion with the evil bitches and low-life thug monkey because it makes him feel powerful. Narcissists see kindness and compassion as weakness. So, who who do you think the narcissist is going to team up with at the end of their lives when they themselves are weak, frail and vulnerable? Remember; narcissism is about power and control and superiority and dominating and INTIMIDATING others. There's your answer. A sick, dying, immobile, vulnerable narcissist will choose to surround themselves with bullies, thugs, monkeys and parasitic minions every time. At the end of the narcissists's life, he is as morally degenerated as he will ever be, and as a result feels comfortable and "safe" around fellow moral degenerates. I would go as far to say, the anxiety and fear the narcissist has of impending death may in fact be quelled by surrounding himself with fellow abusers, exploiters, liars and the conscienceless. 

Narcissists don't want to be around "good" people when it comes time to meet their maker because that will make them feel "bad" by comparison; delusions and denial are just a temporary fix - a Band-Aid - to cover the reality of the narcissist's true self and they take a hell of a lot of energy to maintain. So when reality surfaces, what the narcissist needs more than ever is a strong hit of narcissistic supply. The amoral, parasitic lackeys are more than happy to provide it. In the end, the narcissist has only mutually parasitic relationships - they subsist on narc supply that is 100% fake while being picked clean by human vultures.   

I predict my Dad will continue to avoid me because I reflect back to him who he really is. Besides, I'm much more useful to him and his fellow abusers at a distance and as a defenseless scapegoat. I am without excuses for him and will not attempt to “rescue” him. He still has free will. He can pick up the phone and call me. The “choice” is his. Though I doubt I will ever hear from him because narcissists don't like to have their illusions shattered, especially at the end of their lives when they are running scared and working overtime to avoid reality and dodge the demon at the door.   

Dear Narcissists, 

You can't continue dancing with devil and wonder why you end up in hell.