Tuesday 10 May 2016

ACON Blogs And The Streisand Effect



Have you heard of the “Streisand Effect”?  Essentially, it’s about a shit ton of attention being drawn to information that’s in the process of being repressed. 

It’s interesting how narcissist “family” members and flying monkeys somehow find anonymous ACON blogs. By identifying with what is written and reacting so strongly to the content, they only admit their guilt. But they don’t see it that way. They don’t think their violent and abusive behavior is disgusting and despicable. They believe writing about it is. That, right there, is brain on narc.

In the Malignant narcissist's warped and twisted mind they feel entitled to abuse the living shit out of us. They see it as their right. We – the victims – have no right to object to the abuse. Being denied a defense is all part and parcel of the narcissistic abuse bundle. Doesn’t that sound like a human rights violation? When you look at it this way, you can see that narcissistic abuse is the most insidious violation of human rights. Everything under the umbrella of narcissistic abuse is virtually allowed under our justice system. I’m referring to such crimes as character assassination, psychological violence, diminishing anothers' self-worth, blaming, shaming, ostracizing, shunning, mobbing, scapegoating and worst of all, the malignant narcissist’s ability to usurp the will of another and replace it with their own. Vandalizing a person’s car is a serious crime, but vandalizing a person's mind is nothing? A human being’s most precious possession – their mind – is considered by our society to hold less value than an inanimate object. Trashing property is something, but trashing a person's reputation is nothing? A damaged life is irrelevant, but a dented vehicle is important?!

A human being's most scared personal qualities, the very assets that make-up our nature and that no one but ourselves has a right to stake a claim to - OUR MINDS, OUR CHARACTER, OUR HUMANITY - are precisely what the malignant narcissist feels entitled to get their grubby paws on and destroy. Why? Because they see human beings as nothing but objects. These freak truly believe they own us. That means they believe they own our indentity. The malignant narcissist feels entitled to steal, trash, vandalize, destroy, neutralize, and if all else fails, erase the very qualities that make us who we are as an individual, and replace them with a piece of fiction created to support their own self-serving narrative. By dirtying you up by fraud, the seedy narcissist gets to look clean by comparison - which is also fraud. And, in extreme case, the malignant narcissist doesn't just replace a person's true identity with a fake one, they actually replace a person with themselves. It's no exagerration that the malignant narcissist wants to control and dominate others - her ultimate goal is to literally possess them. Malignant narcissists deliberately set-out to usurp a person's free-will and replace it with their own will.  That, is the biggest power rush a malignant narcissist will ever receive: to drain you hollow and fill you with themselves. That, is the very definition of evil.

Malignant narcissists have zero respect for human life.  

Things need to change!

Everything that falls under the umbrella of narcissistic abuse needs to fall under the jurisdiction of crimes against humanity and these crimes need to be punishable by law. We all know that the worst offenders of these crimes – malignant narcissists – have established a “pattern” of destroying people. Patterns don’t lie. Patterns prove malice of intent. Patterns permit legal action. Patterns are quite prosecutable if you write sensible laws and enforce them.

Speaking of patterns, every malignant narcissist I’ve had the misfortune of knowing has demonstrated a pattern of obsessive stalking behavior. Stalking is currently a punishable offense. Perhaps these narcissists should consider that when they are hurling threats and accusations about what they find while they stalk, spy and monitor us on the internet.

I’m sure I speak for most ACONs when I say I wish I had nothing to write about. I truly wish the narcissists would magically transform into loving, caring human beings that genuinely regret what they have done and are willing to pay-off the debt they owe me with good deeds. Unfortunately, I know that will never happen. Not only will the narcissists never admit their wrong doing, there simply isn’t enough time left for them to right their wrongs.  I used to read comments on my blog and think to myself; thank god my family isn’t THAT crazy. Little did I know THAT crazy was coming down the pike. The narcissists continue to ramp-up their abuse of me and continue to give me tons of material to write about. I have volumes of content stored in my mental hard drive. If the narcissists want me to stop writing about their crimes, they should stop committing them.

Narcissistic abuse is a crime in progress. For adult children of narcissists the abuse occurs every day in real-time. It lives in our bodies, it lives in our minds, and it lives in our souls. The narcissists don’t need to launch an attack to hurt us. Don’t they know they have already done permanent damage? They should see that as winning. But don’t mistake this declaration as defeat on my part. I’m simply stating facts.

You narcissists should think about that while you’re strutting around on stage putting on a melodramatic performance of suffering victim.

You narcissists should also consider the Streisand Effect when you are trying to silence the true victim. It’s likely to produce the opposite result and draw attention to the thing you hate more than your target – Exposure. 

According to Wikipedia: The Streisand effect is the phenomenon whereby an attempt to hide, remove, or censor a piece of information has the unintended consequence of publicizing the information more widely, usually facilitated by the Internet. It is an example of psychological reactance, wherein once people are aware something is being kept from them, their motivation to access the information is increased.

It is named after American entertainer Barbra Streisand, whose 2003 attempt to suppress photographs of her residence in Malibu, California, inadvertently drew further public attention to it. Similar attempts have been made, for example, in cease-and-desist letters to suppress numbers, files, and websites. Instead of being suppressed, the information receives extensive publicity and media extensions such as videos and spoof songs, often being widely mirrored across the Internet or distributed on file-sharing networks.

Mike Masnick of techdirt coined the term in 2005 in relation to a holiday resort issuing a takedown notice to urinal.net (a site dedicated to photographs of urinals) over use of the resort's name.

How long is it going to take before lawyers realize that the simple act of trying to repress something they don't like online is likely to make it so that something that most people would never, ever see (like a photo of a urinal in some random beach resort) is now seen by many more people? Let's call it the Streisand Effect.   — Mike Masnick,

The term invoked Barbra Streisand who had unsuccessfully sued photographer Kenneth Adelman and Pictopia.com for violation of privacy. The US $50 million lawsuit endeavored to remove an aerial photograph of Streisand's mansion from the publicly available collection of 12,000 California coastline photographs. Adelman photographed the beachfront property to document coastal erosion as part of the California Coastal Records Project, which was intended to influence government policymakers. Before Streisand filed her lawsuit, "Image 3850" had been downloaded from Adelman's website only six times; two of those downloads were by Streisand's attorneys. As a result of the case, public knowledge of the picture increased substantially; more than 420,000 people visited the site over the following month.

21 comments:

  1. Hello Lisette,

    As a fellow ACON I too have been subjected to the hell that is having a malignant narc as a 'mother'. I enjoy every one of your blog posts because not only do I completely relate but it gives me validation. I have recently resigned in my post of family scapegoat and it is interesting to see how they all react. I have been NC for 2 years with the narc 'mother' and VLC with the Flying Monkey's.

    Your blog was one of the first I came across when I first realised what I had been subjected to. I just want to say thank you and keep up the good work!

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    1. Hello "Escapegoat" (clever!), glad you've been NC for 2 years with the MN mother. I've been NC for 26 years with the MN mother and the MN sister. From my experience, one cannot resign from the roles they assign us. No contact is a way to escape the narc insanity, but it does nothing to reverse the role they've cast us in. There is a pecking order to these families, a hierarchy, and that never changes. It doesn't matter is you are NC for 30 years and living on the moon. They have, and always will, see themselves as superior to us. We are nothing but dirt beneath their feet and they insist that we maintain our bow and scrape position and continue to collude with them in their delusion of "family" where they have all the rights and we have none. This attitude is perpetuated over a lifetime and often set-up to continue beyond the narc parent's grave. The psychological violence and control tactics continue long after we flee. Even in our absence, the plotting and scheming rages on. I have something to fight for so I'm not going anywhere. I'm keeping a safe distance (as I always have), but I am fighting for my rights - rights the narcissists have denied me of a lifetime.

      How do you know how the narcs and flying monkey's are reacting to your NC if you have gone NC?

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    2. 26 years out with two of them and still the insanity goes on, I feel for you Lisette. It looks like in my case there will be no relatives left in my life at all. I'm 3 years NC this late June and know none are releasing me from the role I was shoved in. The pecking order and "winners" and "losers" game never has ended. Even when my NM dies, there's a smug Uncle Narcissist and his little Mini-Narcs one who just got hired in his company and my GC sister to contend with and Uncle Narcissist is there heavily influencing even the extended cousins, so no, the death of the matriarch won't change this not at all. Uncle Narcissist is 18 years younger then her too.

      I want to tell Escapegoat, VLC is a bad idea too. Even I just have hidden away from a few on Facebook and that was MINIMAL contact. It occurred to me with the death of Aunt Scapegoat, who got banned from the family plots, there was never a memorial service and if the rest of them all stood by for this. The narcs can use VLC. VLC still got the spying and messages given to the main narcs.

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    3. I was wondering what VLC is. Escapegoat, you have very low contact with the flying monkeys? I agree with Peep. Bad idea.

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    4. Hi, in answer to your question about how do I know how they are reacting if I am no contact. Initially, when I got cast aside(again) my brother rang me to try and 'make me see sense'. He kept telling me about what I 'needed to do' in order for the family to regain the status quo. I basically told him that I was already doing what I needed to do which was to cut off all contact with the narc. I have also had drive by attempts by a flying monkey (aunt) who was hoovering me for info. I shut her down and grey rocked it. The narc has also tried to get to see my son by sending him a birthday card saying she wanted to see him. She has never been interested in him, particularly since he was diagnosed with autism. So, I pick up bits and pieces. I know in their eyes I will always be the family scapegoat but in my eyes I am just trying to be me, for the first time in my life. (I am 50)

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    5. Great point! Self-referencing is key. In your eyes you are you. In "their" eyes you are the scapegoat. Yeah, let them think whatever they want. It's when their twisted thinking crosses the line into seriously harming a person that one must take action.

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  2. I agree since they know you have a blog, why do they do need things for you to write about? It is the Streisand effect. Mine is cold enough, she will keep discovery of my blog to herself and maybe only tell the GC. I think of the poison posts even of the ex-narc friend drawing more attention to herself, and I posted a few to show what I was dealing with and all she did was show herself to be exactly what I was talking about.

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    1. Yes, how they react to seeing the truth about themselves is proof that they are what we say they are. Also, the use of DARVO points to their guilt - Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.

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  3. LOL the Streisand Effect and the image of the gangster. It's common among the malignant mob family to utter threats, intimidate, gaslight, project and bully the whistle blower into silence. All narcs use money as a weapon and they will often try and buy the victim's silence with financial bribes. If the victim is vulnerable in some way even better for the narc clan. Not everyone has a price and not everyone backs down. You, Lisette, are proof of this. Keep on fighting the kingdom of darkness because the truth always prevails!

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    1. I don't think all the narcissists combined have enough money to buy my silence and I would definitely employ the Steisand Effect if they were to bribe me with money or bogus terms and conditions to shut me up - meaning, I would post that shit on my blog and draw more attention to their despicable actions.

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  4. My ex-N-frenemies did the same. They tried to shut me up with threats of lawsuits, but I kept talking to my friends/family/priest about what they were doing. I also kept my blog up, and now it's up to more than 165,000 hits. It used to get almost nothing, but writing about these narcs brought in the visitors. ;) I don't take well to being told to shut up about abuse. No lawsuits after four years of their online monitoring. It's all bluster.

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  5. Jeepers

    I'd also like to thank you for your blog.
    I think you write with tremendous insight about the subject of being an ACON.
    For all the reasons that you mention about relationships with narcs (especially covert or malignant ones), i have found it really difficult to actually get to the bottom of why i feel the way I do - taken a few years of working hard at therapy to unravel what's bubbling underneath.

    So a BIG THANK YOU for putting into words your thoughts and experiences.
    I think your blog is a real lifeline to help us ACON's to self validate and I think we all need each other with this as it has been so sorely lacking during our upbringing.
    All the best
    Nick

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    1. Thank you, Nick. I appreciate your comment and I'm glad you found validation here.

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  6. Gosh Lisette good on you NC for 26 years!I am 52 years old.I too have a MN sister and MN mother.It took me years to realize they were actually deliberately working against me and were only happy when they were sabotaging my life and my health,physical and mental.There were bust ups over my will and attempts were made on my life-murder by suicide.Changing the will so minimal gets to MNS through my niece seemed to work for a while and I cut NS off and went NC for a year and a half.My mistake not changing the locks to my house,they kept my spare keys and swore blind they had returned them.The NS had been letting herself into my house while I was out for meals with my niece,meals my mother was giving me the money for.For months she did this I just found out June 2016.NS was psychologically abusing me this way for months even keeping stuff for charity she was meant to give away when I was ill for me and returning it to my wardrobe along with old shoes and a dildo,how sick is that?She was moving my stuff around and untidying my house knowing how mentally ill I get when it is a mess and cluttered.They found out the contents of my new will.The thing was I knew my MNS was crazy, sick and a sadist enjoyed seeing me in pain but I wasn't clear on my mother although her worshiping of money should have been a giveaway.I prayed God open my eyes about my mother.In defending my sister saying she would never do such a thing use my keys without permission she admitted she had a set of my keys but claimed she had them hidden and MNS couldn't have access to them.So then it made sense how they had arranged it,gave me money to spend time with my niece so they could work on eroding my sanity for the thousandth time in 50 years and find out the contents of my new will.They drove me in and out of mental institutions for years,forced me to work in the family business when my dad died,I was aged 16 and drove me insane,every climatic abuse cycle I picked myself up after being discarded and was hoovered back in!I am fucked cos I had a high tolerance level.But I have now NC my evil MM too so it worked for me and God delivered me from evil!They are both NC now and their only way in is to dangle the money and my inheritance at me but I am not about to fall for the temptation,I will fight the MNS bitch if my MM leaves me written into her will after MM death but I won't take a penny off of MM while she is alive!

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  7. My MNM and MNS forced me to work in the family business when my dad died aged 16 I was.They sabotaged all attempts I made to escape them I didn't realize they took pleasure in my ill health physical and mental.There were attempts on my life through omission non provision of medical help when I might have had cancer, a heart attack a stroke and messing with my sanity so that I was in and out of mental hospitals.They worship money and are cheap so there were bust ups over my will and changing it so my MNS gets minimal amounts through my niece upon my death seemed to work for a while .I sussed my MNS was a sadist and took pleasure in my pain and NC her for a year and a half.My mistake was not changing the locks to my home,they MNS and MNM kept spare keys to it and NS was letting herself in while I went out for meals with my niece,which my mother set up and paid for.NS was moving my stuff around and adding old stuff of mine which she had been asked to take to charity bringing it back into my wardrobe.Extreme psychological violence to send me mad and attempt murder by suicide yet again!She was moving furniture round and creating clutter when she knows clutter causes me to be mentally ill, for months,I just realised June 2016, I am just recovering cos that set off my PTSD. The police filed a domestic violence report on my sister against her with me as the victim.Now I know them BOTH for what they are,my MNM is also out to kill me hoping to inherit from me,I am 52 and she 87 and she wants to outlive me!God delivered me from the evil that is both of them.I still see my niece whom I love dearly and have done my best so she doesn't turn out like them, she says they don't talk about me in front of her,my fear is she is a Flying Monkey ,I don't suspect malice on her part I don't know time will tell if there is danger for me there, I love my niece though and she hasn't hurt me ever.I appreciate any advice.My niece is off to university this year,2016.

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    1. Ruby, thanks for sharing your experience. Your MN mother and MN sister sound truly sinister and truly insane! That is some next level psychological violence and gaslighting they inflicted on you. It's a relief to hear that you are on to them and that you are NC. Those two deserve to be locked-up for good. I hope they get theirs! And I'm glad to hear you were able to file a domestic violence report against your sister. I'm not suprised to read that your crazy ass MN mother who is 87 thinks she will out live you and is out to kill you to cash in on your inheritance. Like most of these MNs, she is completely delusional. My MNM is the same way - an old bitty in her 80s trying to screw me out of what's mine. What the hell?! These MNs think they will live forever. Honestly, they believe they are so superior they can outsmart death. And outliving their children is like a triumph to them. Normal/loving parents say the worst thing in the world is to outlive a child. If these MNs outlive their child they fist pump the sky and yell, "Yay me! I win!"

      As far as inheritances and wills go, like any survivor of childhood abuse - even adult abuse - they owe us! And as far as I'm concerned, we should be financially compensated for damages of pain and suffering etc. during their lifetime and upon/after their death. The days of these evil creatures wrapped in the cloak of parenthood tormenting their child beyond the grave should be over, or against the law. Just because someone is dead doesn't give them carte blanche to inflict abuse beyond the grave.

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  8. Thanks so much Lisette for writing Breaking the House of Mirrors,it is the best resource I have found to help me in my recovery.Usual literature speaks of partner narcissists,imagine how I felt to find someone who also went through the same experience as I with mental illness and a Malignant Narcissist/sociopath Sister and a Malignant Narcissist Mother.You are the first woman so far with whom I share the exact details of family ACON background.So pleased we are both well rid of our abusers and it is a pleasure to have found your work on this subject.It is a rel blessing to have it all focused on my perspective as the wronged one rather than it being spotlighted on the abusers perspective as a main thrust which all the other books do.Thanks again from the bottom of my heart!Ruby

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    1. Thank you, Ruby. I'm so glad you found the book and that it is helpful to you. Just out of curiosity, I was wondering if you found my book first on Amazon and then came to the blog, or you were a House of Mirrors reader and decided to buy the book. It's an exciting venture and a new process for me so I'm interested to find out. Thanks for your positive feedback. I appreciate it!

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  9. Yes I agree with it being us owed compensation which is why if my MNM doesn't remove me from her will I will fight for what I am owed from my inheritance cos I worked equal to make my mum rich with her and my narc sister and I deserve more in my view because they owe me for the abuse I suffered.Why should MNSS get it all!

    And yes I found your book first on Amazon and linked into the House Of Mirror blog from there.I am looking forward to your next book eagerly Exiting The House Of Mirrors.I was on Amazon after buying the kindle version of Breaking The Mirrors hoping I could also buy a paperback version as I want a copy I can hold in my hands but no luck with that,it isn't available in that format is it?
    Best of wishes to you Lisette and as they say the best revenge is to live a good happy peaceful life of freedom and free from abuse!And to fight to put all Narcissists in the exposed light of day out of the way so they can't hurt anyone human ever again,I am with you on that one too!

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    1. Ruby, it's good to hear you are going to fight for your fair share. They expect us to always back down to them. I say enough of that!

      Thank you for responding about the book. I am working on a paperback version and it will likely combine both volumes 1 & 2. So you will get the whole shebang in one book. It should be out within the month. Thanks for buying my book! Welcome to House of Mirrors and best of wishes to you! Truth to power!

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  10. I will be in the queue to buy the paperback version Lisette.
    I will not back down either,I am not scared of my MNS even though she is the vilest most violent person,though I am scared of what she is capable of and it has shook me to the core that she acts to bring about my death without hesitation.But as you say she expects me to back down and give in to her and comply out of fear of what she will do and I am not going to do that.One thing I have grown stronger and stronger in after finding out their malice is deliberate and preplanned is my self love and determination to fight for my rights and my safety.Over the years of trying to hold MNS to account her stock defense was always to say,'I love you I would never intentionally do anything to harm you', what a colossal lie and outright distortion of her true motivations which of course is to intentionally harm me in any and every way possible and open to her!
    Lisette, truth to power and may we be the victors!

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