Narcissists: Making Others Do Their Dirty Work

By Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Narcissists beneath it all are cowards and phonies. Despite their psychological shallowness they perpetrate tremendous damage on other human beings—emotional, financial, mental. Pernicious lying, deceptions and manipulations are part of their psychological dna. For most narcissists their image is uppermost in their minds at all times. How they appear to others, how many followers they are accumulating, how much praise and adulation they are receiving and how wonderful people believe they are—these are their touchstones. I have communicated with many of those who were married to narcissists who were stunned by their partner’s ability to maintain a pristine public image while privately causing severe trauma, emotional distress and even terror to members of his/her family, business partners, etc.

Narcissists who succeed in the world preserve their pristine images by having favored members of their tight inner circle do their dirty work. Whether it is bringing down a business competitor by stealth and intimidation, using corps of attorneys to break down a former spouse who is asking for child support and custody arrangements, narcissists find the best follower, the most devoted—to carry out their malicious goals. I have had contact with many of their victims, especially their discarded and broken spouses, partners and children. The damage that they do is immeasurable. Part of the insidious problem is that the current culture rewards narcissistic behaviors–“I’ve got mine; the hell with you.” The narcissistic style of acting superior, being over-entitled and a laser focus on outward appearance and “image” has become pervasive in many stratas of our culture today.

Those who have survived the narcissist and are prevailing by moving forward with their lives despite all of the pain they are suffered, deserve our deep respect and empathy. These individuals are real. They come without facade, artifice or hidden agendas. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com.  

Good, to the point article. Narcissists do recruit others to do their dirty work. It’s surprising how many so-called professional women in positions of authority are so willing to pile on with the MN abusers. Methinks they must be up to no good, and acting in collusion with the sociopath for their own personal gain.

This is how I found out that my dad died - thanks to the scumbag lawyer who has made a fortune taking advantage of a "vulnerable" Estate. I guess after all the money the sociopath sent your way; you owed her a "favor."

I was just informed my dad died.... by a lawyer!

The Malignant Narcissist Uses Force To Make Her Victim Submit To Abuse

Forcing Submission

by

Anna Valerious of Narcissists Suck Blog

Every abuser, every narcissist, every psychopath, every rapist, arsonist, every sociopath is after one thing: POWER. Power over others. This is an outgrowth of the narcissistic need to have all attention focused on them. We already understand that attention is the drug that the narcissist pursues at every moment. This is the core motivation that moves them. There are natural branches that sprout off this trunk and the desire for power over others is one of them. The intoxicating thrill of absolute power is the biggest high they can get from their drug of choice.

The extent to which an individual will pursue their quest for power is determined only by what they feel they can get away with. No small part of this is how much they fear authority or the law. The narcissist mother will not pursue absolute power to the degree that the psychopathic serial killer will. But make no mistake – both are consumed by the quest for power over others.

[ Indeed, many malignant narcissists will feign victimhood, manipulate authorities and exploit the law in an effort to “force” the true victim to submit. In these instances, “law enforcement professionals” become an instrument of harassment for the abuser. They are serving the malignant narcissist abuser; they are helping her to abuse and get away with it. And what they are doing is very wrong, and very damaging to an already abused victim.]

Unchecked pursuit of power is destructive and merciless as well as escalating. As Proverbs 27:20 says in the Contemporary English Version, “Death and the grave are never satisfied, and neither are we.” The grave never protests when someone dies, “We’re full up here. We aren’t accepting any more death, sorry.” Death is always ready to open up her insatiable arms for yet another. So is the lust that drives the malignant narcissist of all brands and stripes. Never satisfied. Never Satiated. Never full.

[ Ain’t that the truth. The malignant narcissist is a big black hole and she is NEVER full. NEVER satisfied. She’s always in pursuit of more and more and more. The more is handed to her, the more she craves. In terms of power; “unchecked” and “escalating” are key words here. Let’s say a malignant narcissist is power of attorney for 12 years over a defenseless old man (her father). She uses that old man and his money to abuse, harass and aggress her victim (her sister), and then he dies. What then? The malignant narcissist tyrant has been on a reign of terror for over a decade, possibly her whole life, and no one has ever put a stop to her. She has never faced any consequences for her corruption. As a result, her lust for power has grown to grotesque proportions. She’s not about to relinquish any “power” just because her main weapon (her father) died. She is not only going to pursue continual power at all costs, she will attempt to trump her last power position. In other words, she is going to take her pathological need for “power and control” over her victim to the next level. She is going to take her position as tyrant within a dysfunction family and force her will on the outside world – the community. This is where “authorities” and the “law” come in. She knows they occupy a powerful position in society and she wants a piece of that power. So, in the same way she used her wealthy old father and his financial position, she uses the police and the legal system as a weapon to abuse her victim. What the hell comes after that?! The reality is, the malignant narcissist is drunk with power and her intimidation and control tactics only escalates with time and opportunity. Unless of course, someone puts a stop to her and sues her and her cohorts for something like "Malicious Prosecution".]

Kathy Krajco defined what absolute power looks like:

What is absolute power? It’s absolute control, possession. Surely you have recognized the lust for it in bizarre crimes committed by psychopaths. Mike DeBardeleben, a sexual sadist serving a life sentence wrote in his journal that it is “to force her to undergo suffering without being able to defend herself.”

“Without being able to defend herself” are key words. It isn’t enough to torment the victim: this must be done in a way that keeps her from resisting. That’s absolute power, possession…

This is the ultimate in mental cruelty = making the victim bend over for it. Then the sick-o gets to pretend that the victim truly does “want it,” has ceased to exist as a person (with a free will and the most basic human right – the right to self defense) and is but an appendage of his that he thus “proves” his absolute power over.

All narcissists do this one way or another: they don’t merely abuse, they FORCE SUBMISSION TO ABUSE. This makes them God, whose punishing wounds we are to shamefully accept as our fault. We are not to resist: we are simply to hang our heads as deserving of them… “What Makes Narcissists Tick” pgs. 104 – 105

Notice that what is required for this to work is for the narcissist to completely disarm their victim. No right to self-defense allowed! This is what they must strip you of first before they can go on to pretend that you are submitting to them of your own free will. Like they deserve such submission and like you’ve freely given it. Either they will use psychological tactics to get you to feel you have no right to defend yourself, or, as in the case of the serial killer, they will arrange your physical circumstances to make it impossible for you to defend yourself and then break you down mentally.

[ Other malignant narcissists who are adept at playing the victim and utilizing the pity-ploy, will manipulate authorities and the system in order to make it a crime for the victim to confront her abusers, or to show any resistance to abuse. For example, the malignant narcissist can get away with psychologically aggressing her victim and committing fraud and stealing, but the victim isn’t allowed to express any anger over these unrelenting attacks and personal violations. In fact, the victim’s reaction to the narcissist's malice is called into question, NOT the malignant narcissist's predatory and morally repugnant criminal behavior. In the end, the victim’s emotional distress at being a target of exploitation, abuse and high stakes theft is labeled a crime.]

So, for the sake of the victim’s mental health, you must NEVER deny him or her the right to put up a fight.

Denying a person under any kind of assault this right is what theologians call the sin of “extreme perversity,” otherwise known as the Sin of Sodom, which is a certain kind of rape – RAPE, not sex – is symbolic.

It violates the laws of nature and the innate instinct for self-preservation. If the victim knuckles under to pseudo-moralistic pressure to not lift hand or voice in self defense, he or she will become a suicide risk. That is forcing people to commit the worst breach of faith there is – with one’s very self. It’s self-betrayal, what Joan of Arc called the “most wretched treason.”

The victim NEEDS to know that he or she did what they could to resist their abuser! Don’t EVER try to stop the victim from doing that!

NEVER, never, never preach prime-time morality at the victim making it a sin for him or her to yell at the abuser. Though yelling may not be wise in all cases, it IS the victim’s RIGHT! It at least lets him or her preserve self-respect through showing a back bone. --- “Self Preservation Under Narcissistic Abuse” by Kathy Krajco.

I made a point in this post that your most fundamental right as a living being is the right to self-defense. It is this very right which the narcissist will first try to convince you that you don’t have.

“Turn the other cheek” is the pious phrasing far too many victims of abusers have gotten as advice when they desperately have sought for help with their situation. It is essential that victims of narcissists are re-armed with the knowledge of their right to self-defense if they are ever going to be able to resist and break the narcissist’s power over them.

Knowing that the narcissist is driven by their need for power over others, and knowing they are always in search of this headiest drug which is absolute power over others, then you’ll be aware that they must force your submission in order to feel powerful over you.

All this leads straight to the fact that a narcissist must deprive you of your right to defend yourself to accomplish this. THEY WILL ALWAYS DO THIS BY FRAUD, LIES AND THREATS. They will bring in their proxies to help them get you to submit to that which no one should ever have to submit to.

They want to pretend that your forced submission is a real submission… and this can only be done if they successfully deprive you of your ability to defend yourself.

Can you see how incredibly important it is to be fully aware of your right to NOT submit to abuse? I am convinced that no one breaks free of the power of a narcissist over them until they are able to claim for themselves the right to self-defense.

It is important to mention here one very tricky sleight-of-hand that a narcissist does to disarm someone from self-defense. This is accomplished by intentionally mislabeling your defensive behaviors as being “retribution” or “vengeance”. They accuse you of hurting THEM. They pretend to know your motives and lay the accusation that any efforts you make to defend yourself are actually coming from your desire to hurt THEM.

If they can convince you that you are being vengeful, or at least if they can convince you that others see you as being vengeful, then they can shut you down. Force your submission once again.  

"It's another form of Blame the Victim".... and in the "Court of Society" MN parents have stacked the jury, subverted the evidence and paid off the judge. Most of us were well aware of these realities as kids. Another reason why I still believe the "Scapegoat" family member is the healthiest "member" in the FOO mess... generally, we're "the ones who got away" despite their continuing and relentless attempts to sabotage our efforts in every single way."  - Comment by Anonymous

Truth: Not only do they force us to submit to their abuse; they force us to pay attention to them when all we want to be is free of them! 

Malignant Narcissist Mother Sent Me A Christmas Greeting

It’s that special time of year again. Time of peace on earth and goodwill toward men. It’s also the time of year malignant narcissists across the land rear their ugly heads with intimidation and control tactics. It’s the time of the year the malignant narcissist’s fangs come out.  It’s the time of year the malignant narcissists ramp-up their bullying and abuse. It’s the time of year the greedy, scheming, thieving malignant narcissists work overtime to cover-up their crimes and vilify the whistleblower.

Christmas eve 2008, I discovered the malignant narcissist sister and malignant narcissist mother had been cyberstalking me and gaslighting me on ACON Blogs for over a year. When I telephoned MN sister to inquire about my discovery, she called the police on me, told them I was "mentally ill" and "violent" and that I "threatened" her and the MN mother. She told my dad I called her up crying asking for help. She told my neighbors that I was off "medication." Three different stories. I guess the lying bitch just couldn't make-up her mind which angle to work.

Fast forward to the present: Christmas 2016, I discover the malignant narcissist sister has stolen over one million dollars in assets from my late father’s estate. Yup, you read that right. The malignant narcissist sister has STOLEN over $1 million dollars from an estate that is to be divided equally 3 ways. This includes real estate, cash, and personal property. And that’s only what I know about! I suspect the grand total of the theft is much higher. What this means is she has given most of what should be in the pot to herself and screwed me and my brother out of our fair share. I also suspect she has floated the MN mother and MN flying Monkey large lumps of cash along with countless possessions from the estate. There is nothing left as far as my dad’s personal belongings go. She took it all. I got a big fat zero. And the money the MN witch didn’t steal she spent, and what she didn’t spend she squandered because she would much rather see funds go to waste then go to me. The bitch is a criminal and she has fucked with my future.  

So, in the midst of dealing with the cruel way the MN sister informed me of my father’s death (through a callously indifferent cold hearted low-life lawyer) and while I was coming to terms with the fact that I was not told that my dad had died until 9 days after the fact, and while I was in the process of still grieving the loss, I learn the malignant narcissist sister has stolen over $1 million dollars worth of assets from the estate and screwed me out of my inheritance.

Then my late father’s birthday rolled around. Then I met with a lawyer to decide what course of action to take against the MN sister and her organized crime ring. Then I leave the MN mother a few voicemail messages saying she must be so proud of her frankendaughter for abusing and exploiting a defenseless old man and stealing her sister and brother’s inheritance.  I also let the MN mother know that I am well aware that she is harboring stolen property; property that should form part of the estate and rightfully go to the beneficiaries (me and my brother). Letting that witch have it was worth breaking 26 years no contact.

The next night Coppers pounded on my door at 11:30pm and woke me up from my slumber. I was not surprised at all. I almost said, “What took you so long?"" and "You got the wrong guy. It's the little old granny who made the call that you want. She's housing stolen loot in the party room of her senior living complex, and her condo is a safe house for criminals.”

Yup, the malignant narcissist mother and MN sister called the cops on me for getting upset about their million dollars plus heist. So just like 8 years ago when they called the cops on me because I caught them in the process of criminally harassing me; they called the police on me because I caught them looting my dad’s estate. Typical fucking MN criminals. The Coppers told me that the MNs didn't want me to communicate with them, including through third parties. I said, "You mean like the way they are now communicating with me through a third-party?" Typical idiotic MN projection machines.

I let the coppers know what the MN mother and sister are all about and I went back to bed. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to those two. The malignant narcissist hags framing me as the bad guy to take the heat off themselves is standard fare. They are absolutely delusional to think they will get away with it. But malignant narcissists truly believe they can transgress others in every conceivable way with immunity.  We’ll see about that. The last message I left to the MN mother was, “See you in court, bitches!” The fight to expose the malignant narcissists is now taking place in the arena of real life. I tell ya, the second book I’m working on is writing itself.

Speaking of books, you can purchase a copy of Breaking Free paperback HERE and the House of Mirrors e-books HERE and HERE . 

And please know that for every book purchased a malignant narcissist receives a metaphorical brick through their window. 

                                                                  

Malignant Narcissist Sister Strangling Me Through Triangulation

The first time malignant narcissist sister tried to strangle me to death I was about 8 years old and she used a skipping rope. Her plan was foiled by an oncoming car that came to a screeching halt. Just as the man got out of his car, she dropped the rope, stuck her nose up in the air, and with an indignant “humph” quickly marched into our cousin’s house. She fled the scene of the crime without an ounce of regret or guilt. I was left gasping for air and struggling to untangle the rope she had tied around my throat. The driver angrily lectured me for playing in the street.

The fact that malignant narcissist sister didn’t express any remorse for trying to murder me wasn’t the worst part. Even her crazy glazed-over eyes that were getting a noticeable drug rush from choking me to death wasn't the worst part. Even the fact that she was visibly enraged that her plan to kill me was foiled wasn’t the worst part. The worst part and the most glaring sign that she was extremely dangerous was what happened next.

I nearly died, and not only was I distressed, I was truly frightened. I needed to tell someone what she had done to me - an adult, a parent, any authority figure. I needed someone to believe me and protect me. Malignant narcissist sister needed to be taught a lesson or she would try to kill me again. I knew telling malignant narcissist mother what happened would be useless. She didn’t care if I was dead or alive. She screamed at me every day “You have no right to live!” and “I’m going to annihilate you!” So she certainly wasn’t going to punish malignant narcissist sister for trying to end me. Malignant narcissist mother would have blamed me for my sister’s violence and punished me for complaining. The only adult that might listen to me and believe me and maybe even punish my psychotic sibling would be my dad. He was the only parent that expressed a modicum of affection toward me and malignant sister knew it.  

What I witnessed when I walked into my cousin’s house, where a family get together was in progress, stopped me dead in my tracks. At the age of eight, I watched a sociopath in the making continue on her quest to strangle me, this time through triangulation.

Malignant narcissist sister almost never paid my dad any attention. In fact, she never had much respect for him. She was always her mother’s minion, so she held him in the same contempt malignant narcissist mother did. He was MN mother’s scapegoat - the bad guy, the one she could blame for everything. But this day was different. He was useful to her.

I stood in the entrance of the living room and witnessed an over-the-top display of malignant narcissist sister’s manufactured love and adoration for her daddy. She was hugging him, joking around with him, fawning over him, holding both his hands and swinging them back and forth. In short, this 10 year old master manipulator was flirting with him and seducing the hell out of him with a whirlwind of narcissistic supply. He was beaming. Never before had the daughter who demonstrated nothing but cold indifference toward him shown him so much attention.

At 8 years old I knew the end result even before it was confirmed: She got to him first. Beat me to the punch. Blocked the kick. Framed me and set me up to take the fall for her crime.

As soon as malignant narcissist sister had finished her performance, I walked up to my dad and before I could explain how she tried to (strangle me) he cut me off and said, “Yeah, your sister told me you got in trouble for playing in the road and the guy driving the car really gave it to you.” Then as a sadistic smirk curled across his lips he said, “You need to be more careful.” And just like that he brushed past me and walked away smiling. 

Absolutely nothing has changed. Malignant narcissist sister is still playing the innocent victim while behind closed doors she is trying to drive me to an early grave or a hospital bed. She is totally capable of physical murder and there's nothing stopping her from using my dad's money to hire a "professional" to take a hit out on me. Maybe she already did. It wouldn't surprise me if her and her seedy thug accomplice dabble in the dark web. What's frightening is malignant narcissist sister sees her attempts to kill me using covert psychological violence as her right. Hell, I'm the only person who knows her game well enough to expose her as the dangerous psychotic she really is. Her psychological violence landed me in a hospital 8 years ago, and she seems to be obsessed with finishing me off by strangulation by triangulation. 

Triangulation can occur in any relationship but it is very common in a relationship with a Malignant Narcissist. It may happen at home, at work, with friends, or within a family of origin. An abuser/narcissist will pit you against any other person she can get to engage in her "victim-playing," who is willing to serve the role she assigns.

She may also temporarily adopt the role of Persecutor to assign blame or Rescuer to maintain control of her image. In the end, this travel around the triangle is how she dumps shame and finds someone to blame for her misery. If there is always a role to play there is always a way to escape responsibility by shifting the position on the triangle. 

PURCHASE A COPY OF HOUSE OF MIRRORS PAPERBACK AND EBOOK HERE!

Control by Triangulation:

If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbors, any third party – to do her bidding. She uses them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, intimidate, offer retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate her target. She controls these unaware instruments exactly as she plans to control her ultimate victim. She employs the same mechanisms and devices, and she always dumps her props unceremoniously when the job is done.

Another form of control by triangulation is to engineer situations in which abuse is inflicted upon her target. Such carefully crafted scenarios of embarrassment and humiliation provoke social sanctions (condemnation, opprobrium, social exclusion and shame) against the victim. In this instance, society becomes the instrument of the abuser. By clever seduction, through words and posturing, she entices her pawns to do her dirty work for her. Unaware... and being persuaded by the narcissist's rendition of truth, they take up her cause and her right and align themselves against the one she controls.

The malignant narcissist creates perpetual triangles around the one she desires to systematically destroy. She sees through these eyes with no empathy - that perpetuate constant, residual torment, for her victim. Claiming that she is being tormented by her victim, she creates rescuers who then torment her victim, thinking they are protecting her from the "bully." Doing this through her family members, associates and whoever she can entice, she remotely views her operation like a director of a movie. In other words, she will frame a picture and put her secondary narcissistic supply in that frame - the borders always being the shape of a triangle and the picture within being a distorted truth she propagates.

Usually, the claims she makes of her victim are the truth about herself and while hiding behind her victim, she will spin, doctor, and gaslight until she gets her desired result. Defamation of character and destroying the credibility of her victim is her goal. She convinces her pawns that the true victim is the persecutor and she is the victim. The naked eye cannot see this game of illusions and that is why she is able to engage others in her web. They do for her what she orchestrates in secret.

Both the Persecutor and Rescuer are on the upper end of the triangle. These roles assume a “one-up” position over others, meaning they relate as though they are better, stronger, smarter, or more-together than the victim. Sooner or later the victim, who is in the one-down position at the bottom of the triangle, develops a metaphorical "crick in the neck" from always looking up. Feeling “looked down upon” or “worth-less than” the others, the Victim usually rebels.

Starting Gate Persecutors (SGP's), on the other hand, delude themselves into believing they are victims in need of protection. This is how they can so easily justify their vengeful behavior: “They asked for it and they got what they deserved for questioning me," is the way they see it. Their core belief might go something like this: “She/he is on to me so I need to get her before she exposes me.”

This attitude sets-up the malignant narcissist to think that she must strike out in order to defend against inevitable attack, even when there is no attack.  Self-defense against the malignant narcissist’s psychological violence is, in her self-absorbed eyes, a threat.  She sees the victim as a threat to herself, and believes that the victim will possibly expose her hidden true self to her rescuers. The victim may or may not have threatened the SGP, but the chance of being 'found out,' by those looking from the outside...the picture projected is the SGP's denial ploy. She is afraid that the real picture will be seen by all. She cannot face exposure or the reality of what she is doing and must project what she perpetrates. Ultimately there is no regard for anyone here, for all player's involved are her pawns.

Therefore, the victim stands no chance of recovering in this triangulation. Convincing her rescuer(s) that her victim is persecuting her, the narcissist is able to trap the rescuer(s) in her web. And the rescuers all become persecutors for her...while believing they are rescuing her.  

The rescuer(s), unaware of the narcissist scheme, become persecutors of the [true] victim. Believing the perpetrator's deception, they do her bidding and become an extension of her. Without regard for the true victim, they have become her right hand, and very likely, the hand(s) that strangulate her victim. The smugness of the narcissist becomes more intoxicating to herself, in her superiority to manipulate all. How brilliant she feels in the evil she has masterminded. Feeling disdain, for even her rescuers, she is loyal to none. She feeds on her own view of being above all those she puppeteers.

Inevitably, the victim will do one or more of the following:

1. Strike back, in defense and self-preservation.

2. Further submit to the abuse, thinking it must be their fault.

3. Try to negotiate and convince the rescuer(s) that the narcissist is the persecutor.

4. Flee the triangle(s) and leave the relationship.

Another Term for Triangulation is Proxy Recruitment:

Proxy Recruitment is a way of controlling or abusing another person or establishment by manipulating other people into unwittingly 'backing up,' the abuser or "doing their dirty work" for them.

Description: The goal in proxy recruitment is to gain the upper hand in a relationship or in a conflict by getting other people involved. This often takes the form of the perpetrator engaging others to" help" through innuendos, false accusations, smear campaigns or distortion campaigns in which the victim is portrayed as an abuser.

Proxy recruitment can be an extremely powerful way of establishing control over another person. It forces the victim into a defensive posture - justifying or denying their own behaviors to friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances and authority figures. It often attempts to reverse roles in the eyes of others - casting the abuser as the victim and portraying the victim as the abuser. It deflects attention away from the real abuser and provides cover or justification for further abuse to occur.

Proxy Recruitment is much easier if the abuser assumes a position of authority. The infamous narcissist will project herself as an authority figure, speaking as though the victim is incompetent or inferior in judgement. 

Proxy recruitment isn't just the domain of people with personality disorders. It is a universal reaction to recruit allies when engaged in a conflict situation. However, it becomes abusive when the truth is misrepresented or the recipient is being hurt.

Those recruited will partake of the abuser's plan, thinking they are doing the right thing. The narcissist abuser undermines the recruited to demise the one she objectifies. Objectification is when the narcissist reduces the one she controls to an object, having no feeling or empathy for the one she degrades. She influences those around her to objectify the victim as well. Presenting herself as though she is the one whose perception is the only credible one, she masterminds the demise of her victim by using whoever she constitutes will execute her purpose.

Proxy recruitment or triangulation is a form of gas-lighting, otherwise known as covert abuse. It is so covert that unless your eye is trained to recognize this mode of operation it can go unnoticed. This is extreme malignant narcissism - the kind of narcissism that has the ambiance of a murderer per say. I call it "the narcissist web of triangulation by strangulation." She strangles the victim through the hands of her rescuer(s).

The narcissist's denial is what makes her the monster...The victim may be screaming out in pain, yet somehow these persecutors twist a whole series of events to flatter themselves in the eyes of their rescuers. The victim being left no defense and no one who understands what literally is transpiring is murdered, hypothetically speaking. There is a slow killing of the mind and soul in progress. Picking up the pieces of their lives is difficult after this conditioning and most times, in these cases, the persecutor will have taken away all their credibility.

If they cannot paint them as a liar because the victim's character does not lie, then the narcissist will paint their victims as unstable, lacking in judgement, mentally delusional or "damaged goods." The unseen goal, even many times to the narcissist is death to the victim's individualization.

Hence, no matter what the victim does to be heard or believed, the very people who could have intervened don't simply because they have become persecutor(s) themselves. The reality here is that the outsiders join in the narcissist's parade of neutralization/traumatization of her chosen sufferer.