The Malignant Narcissist Uses Force To Make Her Victim Submit To Abuse

Forcing Submission

by

Anna Valerious of Narcissists Suck Blog

Every abuser, every narcissist, every psychopath, every rapist, arsonist, every sociopath is after one thing: POWER. Power over others. This is an outgrowth of the narcissistic need to have all attention focused on them. We already understand that attention is the drug that the narcissist pursues at every moment. This is the core motivation that moves them. There are natural branches that sprout off this trunk and the desire for power over others is one of them. The intoxicating thrill of absolute power is the biggest high they can get from their drug of choice.

The extent to which an individual will pursue their quest for power is determined only by what they feel they can get away with. No small part of this is how much they fear authority or the law. The narcissist mother will not pursue absolute power to the degree that the psychopathic serial killer will. But make no mistake – both are consumed by the quest for power over others.

[ Indeed, many malignant narcissists will feign victimhood, manipulate authorities and exploit the law in an effort to “force” the true victim to submit. In these instances, “law enforcement professionals” become an instrument of harassment for the abuser. They are serving the malignant narcissist abuser; they are helping her to abuse and get away with it. And what they are doing is very wrong, and very damaging to an already abused victim.]

Unchecked pursuit of power is destructive and merciless as well as escalating. As Proverbs 27:20 says in the Contemporary English Version, “Death and the grave are never satisfied, and neither are we.” The grave never protests when someone dies, “We’re full up here. We aren’t accepting any more death, sorry.” Death is always ready to open up her insatiable arms for yet another. So is the lust that drives the malignant narcissist of all brands and stripes. Never satisfied. Never Satiated. Never full.

[ Ain’t that the truth. The malignant narcissist is a big black hole and she is NEVER full. NEVER satisfied. She’s always in pursuit of more and more and more. The more is handed to her, the more she craves. In terms of power; “unchecked” and “escalating” are key words here. Let’s say a malignant narcissist is power of attorney for 12 years over a defenseless old man (her father). She uses that old man and his money to abuse, harass and aggress her victim (her sister), and then he dies. What then? The malignant narcissist tyrant has been on a reign of terror for over a decade, possibly her whole life, and no one has ever put a stop to her. She has never faced any consequences for her corruption. As a result, her lust for power has grown to grotesque proportions. She’s not about to relinquish any “power” just because her main weapon (her father) died. She is not only going to pursue continual power at all costs, she will attempt to trump her last power position. In other words, she is going to take her pathological need for “power and control” over her victim to the next level. She is going to take her position as tyrant within a dysfunction family and force her will on the outside world – the community. This is where “authorities” and the “law” come in. She knows they occupy a powerful position in society and she wants a piece of that power. So, in the same way she used her wealthy old father and his financial position, she uses the police and the legal system as a weapon to abuse her victim. What the hell comes after that?! The reality is, the malignant narcissist is drunk with power and her intimidation and control tactics only escalates with time and opportunity. Unless of course, someone puts a stop to her and sues her and her cohorts for something like "Malicious Prosecution".]

Kathy Krajco defined what absolute power looks like:

What is absolute power? It’s absolute control, possession. Surely you have recognized the lust for it in bizarre crimes committed by psychopaths. Mike DeBardeleben, a sexual sadist serving a life sentence wrote in his journal that it is “to force her to undergo suffering without being able to defend herself.”

“Without being able to defend herself” are key words. It isn’t enough to torment the victim: this must be done in a way that keeps her from resisting. That’s absolute power, possession…

This is the ultimate in mental cruelty = making the victim bend over for it. Then the sick-o gets to pretend that the victim truly does “want it,” has ceased to exist as a person (with a free will and the most basic human right – the right to self defense) and is but an appendage of his that he thus “proves” his absolute power over.

All narcissists do this one way or another: they don’t merely abuse, they FORCE SUBMISSION TO ABUSE. This makes them God, whose punishing wounds we are to shamefully accept as our fault. We are not to resist: we are simply to hang our heads as deserving of them… “What Makes Narcissists Tick” pgs. 104 – 105

Notice that what is required for this to work is for the narcissist to completely disarm their victim. No right to self-defense allowed! This is what they must strip you of first before they can go on to pretend that you are submitting to them of your own free will. Like they deserve such submission and like you’ve freely given it. Either they will use psychological tactics to get you to feel you have no right to defend yourself, or, as in the case of the serial killer, they will arrange your physical circumstances to make it impossible for you to defend yourself and then break you down mentally.

[ Other malignant narcissists who are adept at playing the victim and utilizing the pity-ploy, will manipulate authorities and the system in order to make it a crime for the victim to confront her abusers, or to show any resistance to abuse. For example, the malignant narcissist can get away with psychologically aggressing her victim and committing fraud and stealing, but the victim isn’t allowed to express any anger over these unrelenting attacks and personal violations. In fact, the victim’s reaction to the narcissist's malice is called into question, NOT the malignant narcissist's predatory and morally repugnant criminal behavior. In the end, the victim’s emotional distress at being a target of exploitation, abuse and high stakes theft is labeled a crime.]

So, for the sake of the victim’s mental health, you must NEVER deny him or her the right to put up a fight.

Denying a person under any kind of assault this right is what theologians call the sin of “extreme perversity,” otherwise known as the Sin of Sodom, which is a certain kind of rape – RAPE, not sex – is symbolic.

It violates the laws of nature and the innate instinct for self-preservation. If the victim knuckles under to pseudo-moralistic pressure to not lift hand or voice in self defense, he or she will become a suicide risk. That is forcing people to commit the worst breach of faith there is – with one’s very self. It’s self-betrayal, what Joan of Arc called the “most wretched treason.”

The victim NEEDS to know that he or she did what they could to resist their abuser! Don’t EVER try to stop the victim from doing that!

NEVER, never, never preach prime-time morality at the victim making it a sin for him or her to yell at the abuser. Though yelling may not be wise in all cases, it IS the victim’s RIGHT! It at least lets him or her preserve self-respect through showing a back bone. --- “Self Preservation Under Narcissistic Abuse” by Kathy Krajco.

I made a point in this post that your most fundamental right as a living being is the right to self-defense. It is this very right which the narcissist will first try to convince you that you don’t have.

“Turn the other cheek” is the pious phrasing far too many victims of abusers have gotten as advice when they desperately have sought for help with their situation. It is essential that victims of narcissists are re-armed with the knowledge of their right to self-defense if they are ever going to be able to resist and break the narcissist’s power over them.

Knowing that the narcissist is driven by their need for power over others, and knowing they are always in search of this headiest drug which is absolute power over others, then you’ll be aware that they must force your submission in order to feel powerful over you.

All this leads straight to the fact that a narcissist must deprive you of your right to defend yourself to accomplish this. THEY WILL ALWAYS DO THIS BY FRAUD, LIES AND THREATS. They will bring in their proxies to help them get you to submit to that which no one should ever have to submit to.

They want to pretend that your forced submission is a real submission… and this can only be done if they successfully deprive you of your ability to defend yourself.

Can you see how incredibly important it is to be fully aware of your right to NOT submit to abuse? I am convinced that no one breaks free of the power of a narcissist over them until they are able to claim for themselves the right to self-defense.

It is important to mention here one very tricky sleight-of-hand that a narcissist does to disarm someone from self-defense. This is accomplished by intentionally mislabeling your defensive behaviors as being “retribution” or “vengeance”. They accuse you of hurting THEM. They pretend to know your motives and lay the accusation that any efforts you make to defend yourself are actually coming from your desire to hurt THEM.

If they can convince you that you are being vengeful, or at least if they can convince you that others see you as being vengeful, then they can shut you down. Force your submission once again.  

"It's another form of Blame the Victim".... and in the "Court of Society" MN parents have stacked the jury, subverted the evidence and paid off the judge. Most of us were well aware of these realities as kids. Another reason why I still believe the "Scapegoat" family member is the healthiest "member" in the FOO mess... generally, we're "the ones who got away" despite their continuing and relentless attempts to sabotage our efforts in every single way."  - Comment by Anonymous

Truth: Not only do they force us to submit to their abuse; they force us to pay attention to them when all we want to be is free of them! 

Malignant Narcissist Mother Sent Me A Christmas Greeting

It’s that special time of year again. Time of peace on earth and goodwill toward men. It’s also the time of year malignant narcissists across the land rear their ugly heads with intimidation and control tactics. It’s the time of the year the malignant narcissist’s fangs come out.  It’s the time of year the malignant narcissists ramp-up their bullying and abuse. It’s the time of year the greedy, scheming, thieving malignant narcissists work overtime to cover-up their crimes and vilify the whistleblower.

Christmas eve 2008, I discovered the malignant narcissist sister and malignant narcissist mother had been cyberstalking me and gaslighting me on ACON Blogs for over a year. When I telephoned MN sister to inquire about my discovery, she called the police on me, told them I was "mentally ill" and "violent" and that I "threatened" her and the MN mother. She told my dad I called her up crying asking for help. She told my neighbors that I was off "medication." Three different stories. I guess the lying bitch just couldn't make-up her mind which angle to work.

Fast forward to the present: Christmas 2016, I discover the malignant narcissist sister has stolen over one million dollars in assets from my late father’s estate. Yup, you read that right. The malignant narcissist sister has STOLEN over $1 million dollars from an estate that is to be divided equally 3 ways. This includes real estate, cash, and personal property. And that’s only what I know about! I suspect the grand total of the theft is much higher. What this means is she has given most of what should be in the pot to herself and screwed me and my brother out of our fair share. I also suspect she has floated the MN mother and MN flying Monkey large lumps of cash along with countless possessions from the estate. There is nothing left as far as my dad’s personal belongings go. She took it all. I got a big fat zero. And the money the MN witch didn’t steal she spent, and what she didn’t spend she squandered because she would much rather see funds go to waste then go to me. The bitch is a criminal and she has fucked with my future.  

So, in the midst of dealing with the cruel way the MN sister informed me of my father’s death (through a callously indifferent cold hearted low-life lawyer) and while I was coming to terms with the fact that I was not told that my dad had died until 9 days after the fact, and while I was in the process of still grieving the loss, I learn the malignant narcissist sister has stolen over $1 million dollars worth of assets from the estate and screwed me out of my inheritance.

Then my late father’s birthday rolled around. Then I met with a lawyer to decide what course of action to take against the MN sister and her organized crime ring. Then I leave the MN mother a few voicemail messages saying she must be so proud of her frankendaughter for abusing and exploiting a defenseless old man and stealing her sister and brother’s inheritance.  I also let the MN mother know that I am well aware that she is harboring stolen property; property that should form part of the estate and rightfully go to the beneficiaries (me and my brother). Letting that witch have it was worth breaking 26 years no contact.

The next night Coppers pounded on my door at 11:30pm and woke me up from my slumber. I was not surprised at all. I almost said, “What took you so long?"" and "You got the wrong guy. It's the little old granny who made the call that you want. She's housing stolen loot in the party room of her senior living complex, and her condo is a safe house for criminals.”

Yup, the malignant narcissist mother and MN sister called the cops on me for getting upset about their million dollars plus heist. So just like 8 years ago when they called the cops on me because I caught them in the process of criminally harassing me; they called the police on me because I caught them looting my dad’s estate. Typical fucking MN criminals. The Coppers told me that the MNs didn't want me to communicate with them, including through third parties. I said, "You mean like the way they are now communicating with me through a third-party?" Typical idiotic MN projection machines.

I let the coppers know what the MN mother and sister are all about and I went back to bed. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to those two. The malignant narcissist hags framing me as the bad guy to take the heat off themselves is standard fare. They are absolutely delusional to think they will get away with it. But malignant narcissists truly believe they can transgress others in every conceivable way with immunity.  We’ll see about that. The last message I left to the MN mother was, “See you in court, bitches!” The fight to expose the malignant narcissists is now taking place in the arena of real life. I tell ya, the second book I’m working on is writing itself.

Speaking of books, you can purchase a copy of Breaking Free paperback HERE and the House of Mirrors e-books HERE and HERE . 

And please know that for every book purchased a malignant narcissist receives a metaphorical brick through their window. 

                                                                  

The Malignant Narcissist And Her Silent Partners

THE SILENT PARTNER AND THE SILENT MAJORITY

luke173ministries

"Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the oppressed.  Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented"......Elie Weisel

The Silent Partner is any relative who stands by silently while you are victimized, or who takes the abuser's side against the victim.  She, or he, is usually the other parent, who abdicates his parental responsibility to protect his children, or, worse yet, sacrifices his children to the abuser(s) in order to make his own life easier.

In most cases of birth-family abuse, there is usually not just one single Silent Partner.  Several, if not many, family members collude with, protect, and cooperate with the abuser, and participate in scape-goating, pressuring, ostracizing, or trying to silence the victim.  I will refer to these evil participants in our abuse as the Silent Majority, although that term requires a bit of clarification.  In many instances they are far from silent.  Although they might be silent about the actual abuse inflicted upon us, they can be quite vehement in insisting that the victim is wrong for not continuing to accept it.

While encouraging an abuser to operate freely in their midst, they will not be silent when it comes to criticizing the victim.  They will look the other way when the victim is being mistreated, never validating her or defending her, and then attack her when she defends herself.  The one that they gossip about, smear to others, judge, and condemn will invariably be the victim rather than the abuser.  In their sick, evil, twisted minds, it is the long-suffering victim who is the family “trouble-maker”, never the abuser herself.   They don’t ever believe there’s anything wrong with her.  They don’t see a problem with her behavior.  Why?  It’s simple. Because birds of a feather stick together.

In our Lord-Of-The-Flies birth-families, the Silent Partner and The Silent Majority don’t bat an eye at betraying an innocent family member who loves them, and serving her up on a silver platter to be sacrificed to vicious, lifelong abuse.  They specialize in re-victimizing the victim.  Although not as open and obvious about it as the “Alpha Dog” abuser, they are every bit as guilty as she is.  By either their silence, or their speaking up against the wrong person, they allow and encourage the abuse to continue. They are PARTNERS with the abuser.  They are abusers, too, and it’s time we give them the credit for it.