Narcissistic Family Members Always
Deny Truth
By
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
If you are a member
of a narcissistic family–whether you are the child of a narcissistic mother or
narcissistic father or both, or the brother or sister of a narcissistic sibling
or are married to a narcissist, always remember that you hold the truth. Narcissists
live in a state of grandiose delusion of their making. More powerful and
influential narcissists in the family put pressure on those who are more
dependent personalities to convince them to go along to get along with them.
I have had contact
with many victims of narcissistic family abuse who have spent years at the
mercy of their narcissistic families, including their spouses. For years and
even decades those individuals in these pathological families who are free of
delusion and know and speak the truth are ostracized and become the target of
disdain, humiliation and shunning. Often their family members let everyone know
that they have a very sick and confused person in their midst. They spread
rumors about you when you are the only one who knows the truth about yourself
and them and their multitude of secrets and treacheries. In other cases the
narcissists in the family pretend that you don’t exist and make you invisible
and non-existent in their minds and through their actions.
Narcissists turn
reality upside down and sideways and spin it in continuous circles of lies,
deceptions, cruelties and betrayals. What they hate the most is the truth
because deep in their unconscious they are psychologically empty, filled with
rage and self-hatred. They are incapable of self-understanding or introspection
or empathy. Their identity is a charade, a false self that developed when they
were very young and will never change.
Remarkably, there are
individuals who persevere, research, work through their personal insights,
develop practices that lead them to deeper awareness who come from these highly
toxic families and marriages. They gain greater strength and thrive as they
extricate themselves from their pathological relationships. It is a different
path that they take and a difficult one. So often they feel completely alone.
No one understands them or will listen. But they don’t give up. They pursue the
pathway less traveled that leads to an ever evolving consciousness, increased
creativity, a deep wish to share their truth with others who are receptive.
I
have deep respect and a special place inside for those who have won this battle
for the truth. They are heroic extraordinary individuals. You are not alone.
There are so many others who share your life experiences. Be receptive to
finding these individuals. I have found that as the society becomes more
narcissistic and even sociopathic, there are people whom you will meet that
have a high consciousness that always seeks the truth, that welcomes it in you
and with whom you can communicate deeply.
Trust your intuition to know who
these individuals are. Their numbers are growing. You will find them. Work with
the loving parts of yourself and appreciate who you are every day, each moment.
You are precious and no one like you will ever come into existence again. You
are a singular human being. Celebrate this; use every part of yourself. You
have resources deep inside that are waiting to be tapped, creativity that is
spun gold and a heart that is both receptive and strong.
