Saturday, 29 August 2015

Adult Children of Narcissists: You Carry The Cure In Your Own Heart



                                               You Carry The Cure In Your Own Heart

This article by Andrew Vachss is a must read for Adult Children of Narcissists. As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the most important articles for those of us that endured severe emotional abuse at the hands of our parents, siblings and extended family. 

As an adult child of a cruel narcissist family, including narcissist parents, a violently mentally disturbed sociopath sister and Silent Partner Brother, I sometimes feel universally abandoned (even with a blog about narcissistic abuse). And it's this article - You Carry the Cure in Your Own Heart -  that I go back to time and again for validation. The article is a reminder that there are people out there that truly get it. That don't need explaining. That don't need convincing. They don't require a check list and a rating system to quantify and qualify the severity of our abuse. They just know. Emotional abuse is the cruelest and longest-lasting abuse of all. They understand that any abuse that diminishes an individual's sense of self is devastating and comes at a great cost. 

They also know that any form of "healing" or "cure" for emotional abuse is not available to purchase. The cure is carried within the survivor's own heart and soul. And only we know how to tap into our healing source. And we are free to do it in our own way and in our own time. Our hearts, our souls, our recovery, our terms. We hold the power to help ourselves. 

So BEWARE anyone trying to sell you any variation of "therapy" or"healing." If they say, you "need" this or you "need" that because you "enabled" your abuse and you are not "moving on" fast enough or "your anger is fear" and you have this "disorder" or that "syndrome" they are blaming you for your pain and shaming you into "fixing" you - the alleged problem. That, in and of itself, is one of the most despicable forms of emotional abuse. Predators are well aware they can control others through guilt and shame while simultaneously vaunting themselves as enlightened experts or authority figures who preach the gospel: "Don't be a victim! Don't allow the narcissist to have power over you! I used to be you and you can be healed like me! Let me show you how.... I take all major credit cards and paypal." 

Beware sites run by therapists/life coaches/shrinks/ Gurus etc. that PUSH psychologizing the victim and have hidden agendas (sometimes it's making money and attracting clients/customers and often it's narc supply - attention - for the pusher, or a combination of the two). They are brainwashing you into believing you "need" them or therapy or counselling or life coaching or psychic healing or CDs, DVDs, books and recovery systems... or whatever. They are brainwashing you into believing you "need" help from some other person or source. They are manipulating you into believing that something or someone, other than your self,  holds the power. The "self-help" industry is not about self-help, it's about trying to create a dependency. This dependency will only perpetuate your victimhood, drain your bank account, waste your time and energy, and exasperate your pain when it ultimately fails. The repugnant hypocrisy of these charlatans is this: These victim bashers (disguised as healers) "need" victims to stay in business. So while the "narcissistic abuse recovery experts" slyly shame and blame you for still being a victim, they depend on you being a victim in order to make a buck. That's next level projection right there. Think about it: They. Need. You. They need "victims"  to stay in business. No more victims, no mo money... and attention.  

And keep in mind, most scammers are not children of narcissists, but CHOSE as adults, to be in relationships with "alleged" narcissists. And a lot of these scammers change their stories (because faking victimhood and being "one of you" is essential to the con). So they "suddenly" may identify as an ACON. And if you get the urge to shell out $50 to learn how to take revenge on a narcissist, know this: You are going in the exact opposite direction of revenge on a narcissist. In fact, you are once again allowing a narcissist or a pack of narcissists to manipulate and exploit you. These predators know their audience and the chinks in your armor. Be discerning. Especially online. Only you know what you need and what works best for you.

Forgive yourself and write your own script. Don't let someone else write it for you. 

PURCHASE A COPY OF HOUSE OF MIRRORS PAPERBACK AND EBOOK HERE

                                           You Carry The Cure In Your Own Heart  

                                             by Andrew Vachss      www.vachss.com

I'm a lawyer with an unusual specialty. My clients are all children—damaged, hurting children who have been sexually assaulted, physically abused, starved, ignored, abandoned and every other lousy thing one human can do to another. People who know what I do always ask: "What is the worst case you ever handled?" When you're in a business where a baby who dies early may be the luckiest child in the family, there's no easy answer. But I have thought about it—I think about it every day. My answer is that, of all the many forms of child abuse, emotional abuse may be the cruelest and longest–lasting of all.

Emotional abuse is the systematic diminishment of another. It may be intentional or subconscious (or both), but it is always a course of conduct, not a single event. It is designed to reduce a child's self–concept to the point where the victim considers himself unworthy—unworthy of respect, unworthy of friendship, unworthy of the natural birthright of all children: love and protection.

Emotional abuse can be as deliberate as a gunshot: "You're fat. You're stupid. You're ugly."

Emotional abuse can be as random as the fallout from a nuclear explosion. In matrimonial battles, for example, the children all too often become the battlefield. I remember a young boy, barely into his teens, absently rubbing the fresh scars on his wrists. "It was the only way to make them all happy," he said. His mother and father were locked in a bitter divorce battle, and each was demanding total loyalty and commitment from the child.

Emotional abuse can be active. Vicious belittling: "You'll never be the success your brother was." Deliberate humiliation: "You're so stupid. I'm ashamed you're my son."

It also can be passive, the emotional equivalent of child neglect—a sin of omission, true, but one no less destructive.

And it may be a combination of the two, which increases the negative effects geometrically.

Emotional abuse can be verbal or behavioral, active or passive, frequent or occasional. Regardless, it is often as painful as physical assault. And, with rare exceptions, the pain lasts much longer. A parent's love is so important to a child that withholding it can cause a "failure to thrive" condition similar to that of children who have been denied adequate nutrition.

Even the natural solace of siblings is denied to those victims of emotional abuse who have been designated as the family's "target child." The other children are quick to imitate their parents. Instead of learning the qualities every child will need as an adult—empathy, nurturing and protectiveness—they learn the viciousness of a pecking order. And so the cycle continues.

But whether as a deliberate target or an innocent bystander, the emotionally abused child inevitably struggles to "explain" the conduct of his abusers—and ends up struggling for survival in a quicksand of self–blame.

Emotional abuse is both the most pervasive and the least understood form of child maltreatment. Its victims are often dismissed simply because their wounds are not visible. In an era in which fresh disclosures of unspeakable child abuse are everyday fare, the pain and torment of those who experience "only" emotional abuse is often trivialized. We understand and accept that victims of physical or sexual abuse need both time and specialized treatment to heal. But when it comes to emotional abuse, we are more likely to believe the victims will "just get over it" when they become adults.

That assumption is dangerously wrong. Emotional abuse scars the heart and damages the soul. Like cancer, it does its most deadly work internally. And, like cancer, it can metastasize if untreated.

When it comes to damage, there is no real difference between physical, sexual and emotional abuse. All that distinguishes one from the other is the abuser's choice of weapons. I remember a woman, a grandmother whose abusers had long since died, telling me that time had not conquered her pain. "It wasn't just the incest," she said quietly. "It was that he didn't love me. If he loved me, he couldn't have done that to me."

But emotional abuse is unique because it is designed to make the victim feel guilty. Emotional abuse is repetitive and eventually cumulative behavior—very easy to imitate—and some victims later perpetuate the cycle with their own children. Although most victims courageously reject that response, their lives often are marked by a deep, pervasive sadness, a severely damaged self-concept and an inability to truly engage and bond with others.

We must renounce the lie that emotional abuse is good for children because it prepares them for a hard life in a tough world. I've met some individuals who were prepared for a hard life that way—I met them while they were doing life.

Emotionally abused children grow up with significantly altered perceptions so that they "see" behaviors—their own and others'—through a filter of distortion. Many emotionally abused children engage in a lifelong drive for the approval (which they translate as "love") of others. So eager are they for love—and so convinced that they don't deserve it—that they are prime candidates for abuse within intimate relationships.

The emotionally abused child can be heard inside every battered woman who insists: "It was my fault, really. I just seem to provoke him somehow."

And the almost–inevitable failure of adult relationships reinforces that sense of unworthiness, compounding the felony, reverberating throughout the victim's life.

Emotional abuse conditions the child to expect abuse in later life. Emotional abuse is a time bomb, but its effects are rarely visible, because the emotionally abused tend to implode, turning the anger against themselves. And when someone is outwardly successful in most areas of life, who looks within to see the hidden wounds?

Members of a therapy group may range widely in age, social class, ethnicity and occupation, but all display some form of self–destructive conduct: obesity, drug addiction, anorexia, bulimia, domestic violence, child abuse, attempted suicide, self–mutilation, depression and fits of rage. What brought them into treatment was their symptoms. But until they address the one thing that they have in common—a childhood of emotional abuse—true recovery is impossible.

One of the goals of any child–protective effort is to "break the cycle" of abuse. We should not delude ourselves that we are winning this battle simply because so few victims of emotional abuse become abusers themselves. Some emotionally abused children are programmed to fail so effectively that a part of their own personality "self-parents" by belittling and humiliating themselves.

The pain does not stop with adulthood. Indeed, for some, it worsens. I remember a young woman, an accomplished professional, charming and friendly, well–liked by all who knew her. She told me she would never have children. "I'd always be afraid I would act like them," she said.

Unlike other forms of child abuse, emotional abuse is rarely denied by those who practice it. In fact, many actively defend their psychological brutality, asserting that a childhood of emotional abuse helped their children to "toughen up." It is not enough for us to renounce the perverted notion that beating children produces good citizens—we must also renounce the lie that emotional abuse is good for children because it prepares them for a hard life in a tough world. I've met some individuals who were prepared for a hard life that way—I met them while they were doing life.

The primary weapons of emotional abusers is the deliberate infliction of guilt. They use guilt the same way a loan shark uses money: They don't want the "debt" paid off, because they live quite happily on the "interest."

When your self'concept has been shredded, when you have been deeply injured and made to feel the injury was all your fault, when you look for approval to those who can not or will not provide it—you play the role assigned to you by your abusers. It's time to stop playing that role.

Because emotional abuse comes in so many forms (and so many disguises), recognition is the key to effective response. For example, when allegations of child sexual abuse surface, it is a particularly hideous form of emotional abuse to pressure the victim to recant, saying he or she is "hurting the family" by telling the truth. And precisely the same holds true when a child is pressured to sustain a lie by a "loving" parent.

Emotional abuse requires no physical conduct whatsoever. In one extraordinary case, a jury in Florida recognized the lethal potential of emotional abuse by finding a mother guilty of child abuse in connection with the suicide of her 17–year–old daughter, whom she had forced to work as a nude dancer (and had lived off her earnings).

Another rarely understood form of emotional abuse makes victims responsible for their own abuse by demanding that they "understand" the perpetrator. Telling a 12–year–old girl that she was an —enabler— of her own incest is emotional abuse at its most repulsive.

A particularly pernicious myth is that "healing requires forgiveness" of the abuser. For the victim of emotional abuse, the most viable form of help is self–help—and a victim handicapped by the need to "forgive" the abuser is a handicapped helper indeed. The most damaging mistake an emotional–abuse victim can make is to invest in the "rehabilitation" of the abuser. Too often this becomes still another wish that didn't come true—and emotionally abused children will conclude that they deserve no better result.

The costs of emotional abuse cannot be measured by visible scars, but each victim loses some percentage of capacity. And that capacity remains lost so long as the victim is stuck in the cycle of "understanding" and "forgiveness." The abuser has no "right" to forgiveness—such blessings can only be earned. And although the damage was done with words, true forgiveness can only be earned with deeds.

For those with an idealized notion of "family," the task of refusing to accept the blame for their own victimization is even more difficult. For such searchers, the key to freedom is always truth—the real truth, not the distorted, self–serving version served by the abuser.

Emotional abuse threatens to become a national illness. The popularity of nasty, mean–spirited, personal–attack cruelty that passes for "entertainment" is but one example. If society is in the midst of moral and spiritual erosion, a "family" bedrocked on the emotional abuse of its children will not hold the line. And the tide shows no immediate signs of turning.

Effective treatment of emotional abusers depends on the motivation for the original conduct, insight into the roots of such conduct and the genuine desire to alter that conduct. For some abusers, seeing what they are doing to their child—or, better yet, feeling what they forced their child to feel—is enough to make them halt. Other abusers need help with strategies to deal with their own stress so that it doesn't overload onto their children.

But for some emotional abusers, rehabilitation is not possible. For such people, manipulation is a way of life. They coldly and deliberately set up a "family" system in which the child can never manage to "earn" the parent's love. In such situations, any emphasis on "healing the whole family" is doomed to failure.

If you are a victim of emotional abuse, there can be no self–help until you learn to self–reference. That means developing your own standards, deciding for yourself what "goodness" really is. Adopting the abuser's calculated labels—"You're crazy. You're ungrateful. It didn't happen the way you say"—only continues the cycle.

Adult survivors of emotional child abuse have only two life–choices: learn to self–reference or remain a victim. When your self–concept has been shredded, when you have been deeply injured and made to feel the injury was all your fault, when you look for approval to those who can not or will not provide it—you play the role assigned to you by your abusers.

It's time to stop playing that role, time to write your own script. Victims of emotional abuse carry the cure in their own hearts and souls. Salvation means learning self–respect, earning the respect of others and making that respect the absolutely irreducible minimum requirement for all intimate relationships. For the emotionally abused child, healing does come down to "forgiveness"—forgiveness of yourself.

How you forgive yourself is as individual as you are. But knowing you deserve to be loved and respected and empowering yourself with a commitment to try is more than half the battle. Much more.

And it is never too soon—or too late—to start.

51 comments:

  1. I was told not only to forgive my mother but also to continue to allow her to belittle me. It was mother's right to do that. And that was by an aunt and it was about 6 months ago! I never had any self-worth throughout my life and that has destroyed me. My aunt said I would be sorry for treating my mother this way. Well, there is no compassion there. How people see abusers as these delicate little things and I am the problem! More guilt gets laid on me. Feeding a sociopath is the way to go? Or I'm bad?

    There is a lot of truth here. The self-referencing has been very hard, this is a brand new territory for me. It started with walking away from all the abusers and enablers and starting to trust myself that I did the right thing. The problem is to set that standard and making it stick with everyone in my life. I am easily crushed. I guess with time and practice it will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the flying monkeys told me the same thing, to be "nicer" to my mother. I was supposed to eat the abuse and not protest. One thing I have learned to self reference on is LOYALTY. If a person has no loyalty to me, they will be kicked to the curb. I am LC with very few family members and lack of loyalty has me on the fence with them. IRL, I kicked a friend to the curb for having no loyalty. We can detail what matters to US and what we value and refuse to have people walk all over those things.

      Delete
  2. If a person has any space in their brain that thinks "some" abuse is OK, it means they too are an abuser. I told someone (who I thought was my friend) about the way my dad would abuse me when I would go visit him. He would tell me to "just shut up!" call me a "snobby little bitch!" and generally diminish me any way he could. This "friend" said, "the next time your dad tells you to shut up etc., say xyz to him in a calm voice." I thought, what next time?! This person wanted me to "train" my abusive narcissist father how not to abuse me. HA! After 40 years of getting away with it, he's suddenly going to change?! I believe this is the route many of these psychologist types take with their clients. They delude themselves into thinking they are offering tools to maintain relationships, when all they are doing is offering shackles to keep people bound to their abusers. And for those us who have endured lifelong emotional abuse at the hands of narcissists, we all know:

    "Rehabilitation is not possible. For such people manipulation is a way of life. They coldly and deliberately set up a "family" system in which the child can never "earn" the parent's love."

    When I told my "friend" how my dad was treating me I wish she had just said, "What a toxic creep! He's abusive!" Needless to say, she is no longer my friend. Anyone who wants me to tip toe around my abuser, and minimizes the abuse and shows me no compassion is not someone I want in my life.

    "Emotional abuse is the systematic diminishment of another and is designed to reduce the child's self-concept to the point where they consider themselves unworthy."

    That's pure evil, right there. I just noticed "dim" in the word diminishment. These narc parents intentionally and systematically go about "dimming" the light in us. I remember malignant narc mother once gloating at me and saying in a teasing, slithery voice, "You have low self worth" followed by a triumphant smirk. I look back at this stuff now and see what a sick evil bitch she was. And yes, it is pure evil to deliberately set-out to reduce your child's self worth. I guess it makes these perverts feel powerful.

    Joan, you are so right that setting the standard and making it stick with everyone in your life is difficult. I agree it takes time and practice. But you will get there. I'm still working on it. Sometimes it's 3 steps forward, 6 steps back. I try to think of it as growing pains. The good news is, we are now going/growing in the right direction. There's no turning back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother gloried in me having low self esteem too. I remember her doing and saying the same thing. She was so used to ruining me in the eyes of others. So sorry you went through that too. They do feel powerful dimming other people's lights. The friend sucked. Actually I dump any friend immediately who defends my family. [new people are given time that's if I have even told them] When the project friend started defending my mother, she basically took a machete and severed any friendship or future friendship right there. Of course she never was a "friend". Friends are people who will defend us. She allowed another abusive person to malign my name. That is why I am done with her for good.

      Delete
    2. Glad you are done with project friend.

      Anyone who defends my abuser or who wants me to work if out with them or minimizes the abuse is trying to control me. Anyone who tries to control me is an abuser.

      Delete
    3. Anyone who defends my abusers is out of my life. Even the few I am LC with the family, it is nothing but social website contact. I'm not calling them. I made it clear no defense of momster were allowed. I feel relieved to be done with the project friend. I think she may be who gave the blog address to my mother.

      Delete
    4. That's a horrible betrayal if project friend gave your blog address to your mother. Good riddance! Hope your mother is enjoying your blog. Maybe it's not such a bad thing that she knows about it. It gives you the opportunity to let her know what you think of her without actually having to deal with her. If these malignant narcissist mothers want to entertain themselves with our blogs then they are welcome to it.

      Delete
    5. The project friend had the track record of trying to turn people's families against them. I was blind to a lot and later woke up but I remember how she befriended the mother of a friend of hers who became ill and had problems and would tell her to give the daughter "Tough Love". She kept telling another friend's family that she was a hoarder and needed more "tough love". It was sick. I know now I have to be mindful of those who have no empathy for others and even condemn people in the same position in these cases of needed family help. I hope my mother is enjoying my blog too. Read away. I sometimes hope even other relatives find it. Have fun reading!

      Delete
  3. This is one of my favorite lines in the article:

    "The primary weapons of emotional abusers is the deliberate infliction of guilt. They use guilt the same way a loan shark uses money: They don't want the "debt" paid off, because they live quite happily on the "interest."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guilt is something they do feed off. Look at my recent "card", she is trying to instill guilt and self doubt. She is too proud to realize her programming of me broke down. I don't waste the emotion of guilt now on any who do not have it.

      Delete
    2. No guilt, no debt. One of the last things I said to my dad was, "that guilt shit doesn't work on me." I believe he's still fuming about that. He no longer has "interest" to live on with me.

      Delete
    3. I am glad you said it. Mine used guilt to manipulate me long enough. I am tired of trying to please the unpleasable. What a waste of time. She has no guilt herself and never has. [Remember I believe mine is a full blown sociopath]

      Delete
  4. I sooo remember my mother going on about how she looked like this famous movie star, and how a man should only strike a woman with a flower, and my father going slap-punch-crunch in her face. They were both utter bastards and arseholes and mean as snake shit to each other as well as to me. Mother loved forcing me to cut my hair very short and dressing me in ugly clothes. Father sneered, "Oh, you're growing up into a real little woman, aren't you." These two were such total psychological fuckups. I realised from an early age that I would have no peace until they were both dead. The interfered in my first marriage so I got divorced and moved out of town. There was no abuse too insignificant not to try to inflict on me. I could not be in a relationship without them tracking me down and trying to find out who I was with. When I was on my own they flatly ignored me. My father would go after any man I happened to be with and humiliate me in front of him. In another town? Don't worry dear, we'll find you dear. The "Christian" approach of "forgiving" such people is so rotten and misguided, it only serves abusers. I am in my sixties now and never had children for fear of what these two scumbags would do to them. Even if you're in another country your parents will insist on being there when you marry or have a child. They were like a pair of poisonous vipers with airline tickets. Yes, I hated them and still do and if there is a hell, I hope they are rotting there. Fuck "family".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually hate the word "family". Sorry you deal with such horrendous abuse. I never had children either, less choice in my case, but have to admit there is some damn relief that came too even if I have been sad at other times. The churches have made an idol of families where even the children are little trophies for them to show off.

      Delete
  5. Thank you so much for t his blog, I don't feel like I'm alone in the world when I read it.
    The term, universally abandoned resonated with me. The woman who gave birth to me made it her life's work to make me alone in the world. Forget the fractured skull and years of physical abuse, it was the whole family that hated me. When my ex husband was on trial for sexually abusing my child she called me a liar and said I was setting up an innocent man. When I met someone worth loving her and her minions tried to stop my husband from marrying me. My very wounded child hates me now, he is with her and her flying monkees.
    I sat through a church service where the Pastor said, "How would you like it if God said to you, I forgive you, but I won't have anything to do with you. I cringed at the thought of all the victims he sent back to their abusers. He then went on to say that you should call them and ask them to forgive you for not forgiving them. Needless to say, I won't be going back there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My pastor did a "go back to your abusers" sermon too. He had one mild caveat that some people are very evil but the whole gist of the sermon was Forgive, Forgive, Forgive. There is a denial of true evil in the church system and most of them enable abusers. I liked the term "universally abandoned" too. It sums it up. Mine wanted to make me alone. She Hogged everyone in the family.

      Delete
    2. If I had been sitting in that "church" listening to that wolf in sheep's clothes say that, I think I would've puked right there in the pew........loudly. How utterly pathological! Most of the "churches" and their "pastors" are nothing but Mind Control religious organizations that keep people in bondage to the Controlling Psychopathic Elite and all their low level Narc "management" and flying monkey underlings. Sometimes I feel like the whole world is a sort of creepy Rosemary's Baby script. I agree with author above...we have to forgive OURSELVES and let go of the bitterness we feel toward our abusers because it only hurts us. Everything about them is a Catch 22 for us and they come out virtually unscathed. So unfair. We just have to learn to view them as some circus freak show and pity them from afar the way you would pity a rabid, foaming at the mouth dog. My Jezebel mother also somehow managed to hog everyone in my family on both sides, although I have no idea how, since most on my Dad's side avoided her except at family gatherings and funerals or the perfunctory "hi how are y'all doing" monthly phone call. And they (my Dad's siblings) could see how she changed him from a happy, outgoing, adventurous man to a sullen, bitter, 1 dimensional, dried up old drunkard over the years until she finally sunk her fangs in and killed him shortly after I went No Contact for good. I truly believe she killed him on purpose to get me "back in line" but I didn't fall for it and I didn't attend the funeral. Haven't heard from her or her Monkey Boy since. I wonder who she's abusing now? It must be getting pretty old to have to keep rehashing old gossip and slander about me.

      Delete
    3. If they can't obtain a fresh kill, I think they start abusing each other. My mother and sister abuse each other... they have no other options aside from my dad who they are currently feeding on. They used to abuse me by proxy through him, but since I am NC that no longer works. These Vampires truly do need at least one human sacrifices to feed on in order to survive.

      Delete
  6. Never letter a narcissist know who you hate, they will make your enemy their friend. Never let a narcissist know who or what you love, they will come between it and try to destroy it. These narcissist parents do not want their children to be in a happy marriage or have a loving family of their own. They do everything they can to make sure that does not happen. And, if against all odds, it does happen, then they will attempt to destroy it. They are driven by malicious envy.

    It sickens me that there are people out there online who say "their narcissist" is the best thing that ever happened to them and that narcissistic is abuse is a "wild ride" and they are glad it happened because it made them a better person... or some such bullshit. These people make me wanna projectile vomit on the computer screen. I doubt any ACON would say having narcissist parents is the best thing that ever happened to them or describe a lifetime of abuse as a "wild ride." I'd like to see if these assholes (who won't shut-up about narcissistic abuse) could survive what we did. Malignant narcissist parents set-out to destroy their children and their lives, period.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes be careful of betrayals. They will seek to destroy marriages. My marriage vastly improved after NC. She actually put down my husband too, saying he would never amount to anything. Some women may have listened. When we became very poor, [again] my marriage was under strain. At that time her betrayals and treatment worsened my health. I know mine destroyed my brother's marriage. I once told him his marriage ended because he never defended his ex-wife against my mother.

      Oh I have encountered the "suffering" has made me a "better person" set especially in the Christian world. They must worship Lucifer or the Antichrist as they credit their "god" for sending them cancer. [cancer is the result of a fallen world and no one's fault for getting it] Some do the same thing, we learned a lesson having sociopaths sent to us. They will say God had you born to these parents for a reason. Such types destroy faith. Wild ride, you have got to be kidding. They sound like narcissists themselves.

      Delete
    2. Yup, "wild ride." The words used by one of the many flakes who chose (as a full grown adult) to be in a relationship with a narcissist/psychopath and is SO grateful for the experience because they are now "thriving"... and making money off the book and the forum. I believe a lot of these people are narcissistic themselves. When someone has a 4 month relationship with an alleged narcissist and Facebooks and blogs about "narcs" for 4 YEARS (and is still going strong) and becomes a self-annointed expert on narcissism, they are doing if for the supply - period. When a narcissist/borderline woman is "devalued and discarded" then watch out world because that is a woman scorned and we will never hear the end of it. What happens is these PDs discover that they get so much attention playing the victim of a narcissist that they never want it to end. 4 month relationship to 4 years of blogging - something is terribly wrong with that picture. Based on that ratio, I should be blogging for 500 years.

      After that little psychopath Michelle Carter manipulated her boyfriend into committing suicide, she became a self-annointed expert on depression and organized "mental health" fundraisers through her Facebook.

      Social media is a feeding ground for these parasites.

      Delete
    3. They never actually fuck off. My dead father likes to send me bs messages designed to make me worry about something. I send him back a visual message of his right hand chopped off and shoved inside his toothless mouth.

      The Hungry Ghost realm (also known as the Preta realm) is a rebirth based on strong possessiveness and desire which were cultivated in a previous life or lives.

      The sentient beings in this realm are known as "hungry ghosts". They are constantly extremely hungry and thirsty, but they cannot satisfy these needs. In Tibetan versions of the Bhavacakra these beings are drawn with narrow necks and large bellies. This represents the fact that their desires torment them, but they are completely unable to satisfy themselves.

      (From wikipedia.)

      Delete
    4. "their desires torment them, but they are completely unable to satisfy themselves."

      That's what these psychos are like in the human realm. My sociopath sister is the perfect example. She's nothing but a big black hole that she tries to keep filling-up with other people's money, property and possessions, their minds... etc. She needs to control the world and everyone and everything in it, and she needs to get it ALL and she keeps on stuffing that big black pit (her) and finding no relief. The more she gets, the more she wants. She even told me in her early 20's that she didn't think she would ever be happy, no matter how much she had or what success she'd achieve. It's good to know that mn sister (and all these psychos) are tormented by their greed and lust to dominate others.

      Dachshund, do you know if these evil narcissists "send messages" when they are alive... like psychic attacks? Do you know any self-defense against the living ones that we have gone no contact with?

      Delete
    5. That's sick 4 months with a narc and using THAT for 4 years to be a self proclaimed expert? ACON boards with rare exceptions on Facebook seemed full of these model selfie narc types there to save us "victims". I certain am wary of a lot in the psychology world. I guess the hungry ghosts could equal psychic vampires which is what malignant narcs are. They are never satisfied, and want more more more. I noticed even in my mother's life where she has had the 6 figure income and people all around her, she's not happy. NOTHING and NOBODY is ever enough. I have a hard life and a body screwed beyond belief but her and the Mini-Me never smiled or laughed---well my mother would do fake charm but Mini-Me never bothered. They were always sour pusses beyond belief, it probably is exhausting trying to control everything and "look perfect". Your sister sounds the same exact way Lisette.

      Delete
    6. Yes, 4 months to 4 years. It's laughable. There are so many narcs getting their needs met through the narcissistic abuse "community." Isn't it ironic?

      Peep, my sister is like your mother. She's the ultimate miss greedy guts. Doesn't want me to have a damn thing. I haven't seen her in 25 years and she still managed to steal control of my only bank account and ruin the only relationship I had left in the "family" as well as destroy any chance at a relationship with my brother (she got to him, and his mind is good and poisoned). She even stole all my photo albums, high school year books. You name it. I picture her at the end of her life opening a door to a massive warehouse that is stuffed to the brim with all her ill-gotten gains. It's like Raiders of the Lost Ark. She waged war to get the Ark, and once she got it, she didn't know what to do with it so she shoved it in a warehouse. It was never about the The Ark in the first place. It's not the Ark that makes her happy, it's winning the bloody battle to get the Ark that keeps her alive. So yes, my sister and mother are miserable creatures. My sister was a miserable kid, she's never been happy. The only thing that gives those two sadistic witches real pleasure is dominating. tormenting, ruining and controlling others. If there was no game to play my sister wouldn't know what to do. I would love to see the haughty bitch in prison or some kind of institution where everything is out of her control and she has no privacy. Best punishment ever for a pathological control freak sociopath hermit.

      Delete
    7. The predators are out there looking for ACONs to abuse. Sadly for those who are making their first steps into NC and healing those nasty people are waiting to dig ditches and exploit them. Your sister sounds much like my mother in personality. She would take away things just do it. I bet Aunt Scapegoat lost her small inheritance. Maybe that is why my mother stole her guardianship. It's all about control over people. I can see your sister with the giant warehouse too. My sister is a sociopathic narc too but she has a far lower IQ then my mother and no charm. Those types are less dangerous but still inflict untold damage. My sister has no friends either, and I remember how she would tell me when we were still in contact how everyone hated her. I said near the end, "What do you expect? You treat people like garbage!". I suspect she never learned the fake charm of my mother because she got all her needs met without it. They both are miserable. My sister is one of the "darkest" souls I've ever encountered. I am sure the same is true for your mother and sister. One thing I remember about both is they never laughed or smiled unless it was my mother doing fake charm. They never really enjoyed anything or had enthusiasm for anything.

      Delete
    8. "The Devil comes only to steal, to kill and to destroy..........." John 10:10

      Delete
    9. Yes, it's the ACONs who are just discovering NPD and are in the process of trying to wrap their heads around all this stuff that are at risk of being misguided and exploited. When I started learning about malignant narcissism way back in 2008, there wasn't the glut of information and misinformation there is now. I don't know where I would begin if I was just starting to learn about NPD.

      I'm old school and recommend first reading the classics written by adult children of narcissists.I believe an ACON can get a good start on what they need to know in a few sources: Anna V's blog "Narcissists Suck," Kathy Krajco's book "What Makes Narcissists Tick." Harpies Child - "Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers," and Joanna Ashmun's website. I have links to the sites on the sidebar under Kick Ass Sources of Information. Those sources will lay a solid foundation of understanding for any ACON new to this... and the rest is gravy - books, blogs, forums. I've never participated in a forum, but Out of the Fog seems to be a decent place with a lot of good information.

      As for the narcs... my sister is more dangerous than both my parents and I wonder if this is a question of IQ or malevolence. I think my sister is more cunning and devious than both my parents, but I also believe she's further along the continuum than them. She's next level malignant narcissism in that she is without conscience. Both my parents seem to have a whisp of a conscience.

      Delete
  7. Yeah, the forgiveness thing is collective hypocrisy and gaslighting. These assholes preaching forgiveness do it to look superior. Huge red flag for me. Huge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, and if they are so darn "perfect and saintly" then WHY do they NEED any "forgiveness" from anyone? Perfect people never do ANYTHING WRONG, don't ya know??? These narcs slander you and claim it is YOU who are in the wrong and YOU who 'abused' THEM, so why aren't they saying that YOU need to apologize to them and ask for their "forgiveness"? WHY? Because they KNOW they are guilty and perversely demand your 'forgiveness' so they can continue to abuse you indefinitely, while they also continue to play the victim to their friends and idiot brain dead relatives. (What blatant hypocrites they are along with all their WILLFULLY blind enablers). I have to agree with Jesus when He said "let the blind lead the blind...they will all fall into a ditch." I can't wait until they do. I'd like to be sitting there in a bull dozer.

      Delete
  8. I want to add a warning here. Some day I may be brave enough to post on this, but avoid all deliverance ministries too along with the false psych websites. Do not allow religionists who see your being an ACON victim as being your spiritual "fault" that you brought on yourself. I encountered spiritual abuse in that world. If someone claims to have all the answers and claims to be the expert or tells you that you need delivered because of your abuse, RUN for the hills. For Christians out there, healing comes via the Holy Spirit in your OWN relationship with God not with some "healer" someone taking a "priest" role in your life. So out there, there are plenty who want to take advantage of ACONs.

    I actually found this article years ago, and read it. His calling abuse victims to learn to self reference woke me up massively. This was one of the first articles I read learning about narcissism. I had been so gaslighted and trained to not trust my own thoughts and feelings. [even a recent example is on my blog where my mother attempts this again. I am learning to self reference now too Joan, it isn't easy but I recently cleaned out two narcs and sociopaths from my life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How I self -reference right now, is that what I hear and see is what I hear and see, and I pay more attention, so limiting the gaslighting. It used to be easy to get things past me, not anymore.

      I just had a memory from many years ago. A boss once told me at work that I went and caused some serious trouble. I was thinking, What? Did I disappear and someone else took my place? Omg, it never happened. But I believed him. He was only trying to get rid of me for my anxiety issues. Can I post his name and the company and city? Just kidding. This one has me ticked.

      So I pay attention and stick to what I hear and see.

      Delete
    2. I wonder how far the apostles would have gotten in the book of Acts if they thought they had to forgive and get along with anyone. They might have gotten killed and no epistles.

      Delete
    3. According to the phony churches out there, everyone is supposed to forgive everyone. One famous preacher even did a sermon "Hug A Vampire" that Smakintosh mentioned. How disgusting. Many view Christianity from the outside and think "What a bunch of saps" and honestly in the fallen away churches, the sociopaths in the pulpits are setting up their congregations to be saps and enable evil.

      I agree about sticking to what we hear and see and know...Many of these narcs just flat out lie. I wonder how many lies mine got me to believe about others. It's sick.

      Delete
    4. I agree with Peep about the so called "deliverance ministries" that want to deliver the VICTIM or target of demonic narcopath abuse. This is not scriptural. I have stumbled across a few (emphasis on FEW) that correctly state that the one who needs "deliverance" is the abuser, but they also correctly state that these abusers usually will not see their need for deliverance and are incurable. Also if they offer to pray for the victim and "bind" and "cast out" the evil spirits (spirits of self-hatred, guilt, shame, etc) projected onto them by the narc, that is also OK. There are so many false religious cliques, cults, DEMONinations, etc. that I've come to loathe being called a "Christian" because I don't want to be associated in any way with these religious posers and their sickening mushy door mat "Christ" (antichrist). The real Jesus was not "religious" nor was He a door mat. He called the religious leaders of His day a "Brood of Vipers" and beat them out of the temple with a cord of whips. He told the Truth, which forced them to look INWARD at themselves, and they hated Him for it. He called them whitewashed tombs full of dead men's bones. He was also a Scapegoat and His own biological family thought He was "crazy". (Sound familiar?) I don't call myself a "Christian". I call myself a follower of the Truth.

      Delete
  9. First of all lisette THANK YOU FOR EXISTING. Your blog is the holy grail for me. Pls pls never ever take it down. The days u took it down were hell for me im so glad its back nobody writes like u do nobody ur passion ur sensitivity the way u dont mince words. I have been a silent fan but the validation from here ur writings, david shine, death personified, envy ulcer of soul, home sweet homicide, expoit their prey for maximum exploitation slow roast slow kill. Exactly the books uv read were the ones i read that saved me too people of the lie wc incidentally my mom bought me saying i was evil, this vacch write up saved me in year 2001 plus i met kind people spiritual visionaries but most of all let me say one thing EVIL PSYCHIATRY EVIL i was once institutionalized against my will similar to what happened to rose kennedy only minus lobotomy but chemical lobotmy. One flew over the cukoos nest is real. THESE MOTHERFUCKING SCUMS VULTURES ARE MORE EVIL THAN THE NARCISSIST PARENTS WHO I WONT LABEL AS NARCISSIT I REFUSE TO USE ALL THEIR PSYCHOATRIC SHIT BABBLE. THESE PARENTS ARE SOULLES MURDERERS BUT THESE VULTURES ARE EVEN WORSE THEY PATRONIZE DISEMPOWER FEED ON THE WOUNDED INJURED UNDER THE GUISE OF HELP BY TALKING DOWN DISEMPOWERING CHEMICAL LOBOTOMY I AM SPEAKING BECAUSE OF A RECENT DISEMPOWERMENT EPISODE. PLEASE WRITE AN ARTICLE SPEICIFCALLY ABOUT THESE VERMINOUS SCUMS I NEED VALIDATION FROM U THEIR PROFESSION HIDING UNDER WHITE ROBES HAS TO BE EXPOSED EXPOSED EXPOSED. ROSE MARIE KENNEDY WHAT A MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HERS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FACE IV SEEN AND DULLY THE YOUNG KID LOBOTIMIZED AND A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR LOBOTMY WOW AYN RAND WAS NOT RAMBLING INSANITY WHEN SHE SAID THE FUTURE HOWARD ROARKS WILL BE LIKE SEA ANEMONES THEIR BRAINS RIPPED OFF . ROBERT ANTON WILSON KNEW THE TRUTH HIS ARTICLE SEXUAL FREEDOM. PLS WRITE ABOUT THESE THESE EVIL SCUMS I AM EXPLODING W ANGER SO FORGIVE THE CAPS BUT I KNOW U WILL UNDERSTAND, THANK U THANK U FOR EXISTING U R A RARE VISIONARY W A GIFT WITH WORDS. MUCH LOVE TO U FROM A FELLOW TRAVELLER

    ReplyDelete
  10. the labels dsm disempowerment god how they talk down patronize condescending smiles god evil evil evil even the real nurse ratched was more upfront like cold stone. Thomas szaz breggin erich from. Knew the truth. Nietzsche , jim morrison. Wilhelm reich, robert anton wilson. These in white robes EVIL BEYOND WORDS!!!!! i wish there was a way i can communicate w u privately thru email posting on boards is not so much my thing i have a personal story to tell very private and i can see thru it all as u see. Ur validation ur words is a warm complete embrace from a fellow battered traveller who says it like it is with a full forced punch not half way not moderate . But a full encompassing embrace that knows the deepesy recesses of wounds soul murder and the evilness of these vermins they are lower than the parents. Why they pretend niceness help help, death poison in the form of candies in smiles condescending taking ur power further even as u r mortally wounded by ur parents. God wow wow wow even vultures vermin worms in animal kingdom have decency they dont pretend to smile be nice they know they are cleaners, eaters of the weak. They HAVE A FUCKING DECENT HONESTY UNLIKE THESE MOST EVIL EVIL EVIL MOTHERFUCKERS THE BASIS OF THE ENTIRE THING IS FEEDING OFF THE WEAK,!,!SOUL MURDER MOST VILE MOST VILE MOST MOST MOST VILEEEEEEE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawfan, thank you for the kind words on both of your comments. I'm sorry that you experienced the horrors of evil parents and the psychiatric system. Evil people (so-called "family') often try and control/destroy their victims by acting in collusion with other social control authorities like psychiatrists and the police and the government etc. Most people don't realize how easy it is to destroy a life. I've been able to pull focus on my own experience and observe the process. Before it happened to me, I could have never imagined how one can destroy another human being. Sadly, now I know the formula. The important thing is to let people know they are being systematically destroyed before it's too late. And even if your life is in ruin because of one or a few evil people, it's possible to rebuild it by recognizing the abuse for what it is - ABUSE.

      I'm glad you were able to read Vachss article back in 2001. It's definitely a life saver. I wish I had seen it back then. So your mom bought you "People of the Lie" to read because she said you were evil? Ha! Talk about projection. That book was actually recommended to me by a psychologist who called my mother evil and told me... well... she actually yelled it,"Your mother never loved you!!" That psychologist was a piece of work. A total weirdo. But at least I got a half-way decent book recommendation out of her. And she was right about my mother.

      I've had an article in mind about how these malignant family members team up with psychiatrists to destroy the family whistle blower / scapegoat / victim and I might get around to it one day. A famous example of a malignant narcissist mother and enabling father destroying their daughter's life through the use of psychiatry is Francis Farmer. A more current example is Britney Spears. When Britney was acting out way back in 2008, I think it was, guess who momma Spears called for help? Dr. Freakin' Phil!! That says it, right there. Anyway, they have their little cash machine daughter good and controlled and pretty much held hostage. I believe her father has guardianship over her until he dies. That pretty much guarantees him an income for life. These evil fucks use/abuse the psychiatric system, the legal system, the police system, the financial system etc. to control others for life or destroy their lives. I don't believe Britney Spears is mentally ill. I believe she's a hostage who "acted out" and is now silenced for good.

      Delete
  11. Thank you Lisette . I also have a N mother and sister who have plotted / bitched / blamed and lied about me my entire life. They even bullied me away from my fther when he was in hospital sick. I got to the stage that i went NO CONTACT in September 2010. I carried on with my life and dwelled on how my father was getting on. Then in April this year they had a cousin contact my daughter to let me know that my father was in hospital dying. My N sister passed on a message saying it would be a good idea if i went and visit my father before he passed. It was like alarm bells going off inside me. In the end up , i decided not to go. I had a feeling that it would all have been put on me for my father dying. I didn't want to give them the 'performance' for other family members to see. If all that was not enough my new neighbour fits the description of an MN. Any chance she gets she 'sets scenarios' calls the police. It has been a nightmare living right next door to one. Anything i do in my hose like run a bath , she runs a bath. She stalks me around my home. She also 'campaigns' against me by going around telling the neighbours how bad i am and she plays the victim to pure perfection. Thanks again Lisette :) x x x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so typical that your N sister and mother got a cousin to pass on a message to your daughter to pass onto you. I bet they enjoyed showing you the lowly position you occupied on the chain of command. I'm glad you didn't go to the hospital. It sounded like a direct order from your N sister and she was probably getting off on all the control she had over things. Did your father die? If he did, did you go to the funeral? I hope not. Now that your father's gone you have no reason to every see or hear from them again. I hope your N mother and N sister are also dead to you.

      As for your neighbour, I have some advice because I've been there. Either move out or start talking to other neighbours. Do your own campaigning. There's a bully couple in my building and they tried a few stunts on me. I started "talking" to people in the building and I found out they are hated by everyone. They've pissed off everyone at some point or another. In fact, since I've lived here, they've driven out 4 neighbors that live above them (and across the hall from me). Their latest upstairs neighbour got a vicious note from them about his noise the day he moved in. Well, they crossed the wrong person. He fought back and contacted the landlord directly and he was told by the landlord they complain about every neighbour above them and they tried to get them to move to the upstairs suite (since noise bothered them so much) but they didn't want to move. I also gave him a history lesson on their bullying behavior and told him I would support him if they ever bother him again. My point is, unless you do your own probing you will never know who thinks what about this neighbour of yours. You also might want to make a complaint to your landlord and educate yourself of your rights under the landlord tenant act. Does your neighbour live above you or below you? Sounds like she's trying to gaslight you by mimicking your every move. My neighbour across the hall (who lives above the bullies) told me that they mimic his moves - he turns his music on, they suddenly blast theirs etc. The thing is, these psychos live for the conflict and are absolute control freaks... it entertains them and they don't want it to end. I bet your neighbour has driven tons of people out of the building, like the bullies in my building. If you live above them, I suggest you start taking clog dancing lessons, followed by tap. If you own a pair of ski boots, put them on and clomp around. If you live above, the bitch neighbour is at your mercy.

      Delete
  12. Thank you Lisette , my life now is a living hell with a viciouys N neighbour , who plots and plans how to destroy me

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi Lisette thanks for your reply. Yes, my father passed a few days later and i did not go to the funeral. I felt i would have let myself down if i went. I have been No contact for just over 5 years and i went through a lot of emotions to where i am today. Yes you re exactly right , it was an order. Not only was i asked to see him i was told to go on the Thursday at 2 pm. So it was not when i wanted to drop by it was when they wanted me there. After i did not show at the appointed day and time , my daughter said that my sisters son put up a Facebook status saying "Well, fuck that then" so i don't know if that was aimed at me or not. Did not dwell on it too much but it did puzzle me. I hope this sends this time.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Lisette wrote a lengthy reply but theres a word limit so im gonna revise and repost some other day. While vach article saved me decades ago. Your articles are the best its a complete extremely impassioned embrace from a fellow survivor. The way u describe it details every word is dripping w passion i love it it embraces my scarred soul. Ur blog is the only site my favorite read on the net there are many survivors but nobody tells it like u do. Nobody. Half hearted some some say it but it lacks the punch. U remind me of myself like a little lost boy girl in a fairytale running screaming gasping for life while screaming about the unspeakable horrors we went thru. Thank u. I maybe its just a coincidence or something that my life almost practically mirrors yours snow white queen mother, shrimp father, with an additional gang of evilest aunts for me. Ugly ducklign is my life story. Psychiatry as a whole is the most evil thing on this planet one flew over the cuckoos nest does not begin to touch the surface
    I came across this link andmthought id share it before i lost it
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-peter-breggin/mental-health-the-hazards_b_618507.html
    Will write again later im struggling to survive here one thing iv learned never be vulnerable esp to those in mental health industry .disempowement is their sugar flavor for fun. Never lose we must never lose the fire of our soul. Its a lifetime struggle......as .....the moment u let ur guard down flying monkeys flying monkeys i love all ur illustration esp death personified it is incredibly fitting and gothic. Going to ur blog is like lying on a old comforter or pillow, a sense of peace validation ...that i cant describe in words i wud like to write more but im so tired its a struggle for me to survive t

    ReplyDelete
  15. Psychiatrys is disempowrment disempowerment is pure evil is soul murder!!!! Pls write an article purely pn the evil evil of psychoatry pnly u can write it as it is....for the few crumbs they give, they second further the disempowerment of parents. After the head chef finishes the cutting of head they begin the disembowelment under the guise of good help. Animals are openly rawly cruel and noble and kind. Never hypocrites. This is sickening.

    ReplyDelete
  16. The fire of the soul energy power self confidence is a very fragile most preciosu thing it is so scary how others try to steal it i. The form of niceness wow wow u know u understand what i mean its the only thing we have and what distinguished a breathing lively alive individual from a shell whose life has been sucked out literally wow.....in words its nothing but in reality its too scary for words . Physical murder is nothing dompared to it something only u wud understand best how i feel about this when i read ur article coraline and the others wc speak of this murder leaving a husk a shell.....i cant describe it as well as u do but u know what i mean its just beyond evil the move golden compass somehoe spoke of it the truth magisterium the snimal daemons .animald really sre spiritual totems i read somewhere somrone commented that animals are enlgihtened beings eho come here as sacrificial warriors they sre thr light

    ReplyDelete
  17. My mom told me i had no right to live in subtlr and not so subtle words long story but ur article on it nailed it on the head for me, someone i thoguht finally somrone eho lived understood the life i went thru the evil queen mother .its all because of pstriarchy but these kind of queen women nurse ratched hybrids but more evil is psychiatry . The hunter kills the disemboweller relishes the pain further w gleeful smile

    ReplyDelete
  18. http://m.dailylife.com.au/health-and-fitness/dl-wellbeing/inside-a-psychiatric-ward-20130227-2f5id.html

    ReplyDelete
  19. @Lisette

    I just gotta say what Rawfan spoke about narcisstic parents who use psychiatry to destroy their children sounds like my story.

    My parents are verbally and emotionally abusive narcissists, giving me a mental health diagnosis to control me and use me as the scapegoat when shit went wrong in the family.

    I was forced into the autism society of America "cult" when I was younger. I hated it. Narcisstic parents with their autistic kids, being used as bread baskets of sympothy. Put on medications when I was eleven years old, got no benifits from the psychotropic and anti depressant meds.

    As I got smarter about mental health, I learned mental health is a sharade of lies. Basically a pseudo science. Got off my pills for good. Went to CCHR (another part of Scientology), hoping they could help me win my case against my psychiatrist who neglected my health concerns with the pills, and sided with my parents. They couldn't help me. I was angry. So much for Mr. Hubbard, Mr. Miscavage, and Mr. Szaz for helping ex mental health patients becoming financially independent people's. No action to abolish psychiatry forever in America has taken place.

    I hate psychiatry, and anti psychiatry culture too. MadInAmerica is a joke. They advertise they want to help you progress as an individual, yet when you want to be helped, they snidely tell you "I hope you get off the web and go do something more constructive with your life."

    Whatever the fuck that means. Anti psychiatric people's are nothing but hypocrites, "psychiatric apologists", and bribe you to "let it go", when you still experience people's nasty ways and mistreatments. The law will never be on the mentally ill and ex mental health patients side, ever. These people make me sick to my stomach.

    But I'm not going to allow the system, society, etc, shut me down because how "mental" I get when I'm genuinely angry about something. I know not all Americans are narcisstic, demonic fucks out to metaphorically rape anybody who doesn't fit their narrative. But gee, I wonder how long psychiatry's glory days will last here?

    Where is my autism cure, I've been waiting for so many years? Lol. Fucking sharade I tell you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. we need more books for children only book for scapegoat children of narcissists I could find is "The King and Queen of Mean" by Lynne Namka, asking your local library, local child psychologist or other community centre to please order books in on narcissistic abuse, helps in a small way to help the next generation of children of narcissists. Does anyone else feel like we need a big shift, or big popular movie, or a big popular book to expose the truth about narcissistic abuse and family scapegoating? I feel frustrated that awareness is not reaching all of society, is not warranting government interference and we need a big epochal shift to get awareness out there to all humanity.

    ReplyDelete