Abuse By Proxy:
And Other Tools of Torture for the
Machiavellian Sadist
An effective
technique that’s often deployed by the sadist is what is known as abuse by
proxy. This is when the perpetrator of the abuse recruits Lieutenants to,
sometimes unwittingly, do his bidding. The benefits of this strategy is that it
allows the abuser to enjoy the sick pleasure he finds in the pain of his
target, while simultaneously feeling the gratification that comes from getting
away with cleverly manipulating others into doing his dirty work. It keeps the
abuser further and further away from the target’s sight and keeps the target’s
focus on the second in command rather than the source of the abuse. For these
kinds of people, power trips like this are irresistible.
Proxy
Recruitment
Definition:
Proxy Recruitment - A way of
controlling or abusing another person by manipulating other people into
unwittingly backing “doing the dirty work”
Puppet-Making
Sometimes attempts to control someone
or abuse them are fairly obvious, with Proxy Recruitment however, manipulation
of others is used to achieve the same aim in a highly secretive way.
Friends, colleagues, family members,
acquaintances and authority figures may be drawn into the perpetrator’s game
plan through false accusations of abuse, smear campaigns or distortion
campaigns, and these people are then encouraged to take up the perpetrator’s
cause against the victim.
Flying Monkeys
In an iconic scene from The Wizard of Oz, the Wicked
Witch sends a troupe of Flying Monkeys in pursuit of Dorothy. The term Flying
Monkeys has evolved to represent any proxy, recruited by an abusive
person to assist them in controlling their victim.
How it Works
Proxy recruitment can be an extremely
powerful way of establishing control over another person. It forces the victim
into a defensive posture - justifying themselves or denying false claims to
friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances and authority figures. It often
attempts to reverse roles in the eyes of others - casting the abuser as the
victim and portraying the victim as the real abuser. It also deflects attention
away from the abuser and provides cover or justification for further abuse to
occur.
Proxy Recruitment is much easier if the
abuser assumes a position of authority. Yale University psychologist Stanley
Milgram demonstrated that people will often perform an irrational act if
instructed to do so by an authority figure, even if that act is unkind or cruel
to another person.
Proxy recruitment isn’t just a tactic
used by people with Personality Disorders. It is a universal reaction to
recruit allies when engaged in a conflict situation – however when it involves
misrepresenting the truth or causing deliberate harm, it is a form of toxic and
abusive behavior.