It takes extreme treachery to replace
an authentic self with a false image of that person, and who is better skilled
to do that than a sneaky malignant narcissist. Take a look at their lives; who
they appear to be and who they really are. They don’t connect with reality.
They live in a fictitious world of smoke and mirrors where appearances
are all that matter. Narcissists only identify with their false image and they
expect you to identify with the false image they invent of you. They NEED you
to appear to the world the way they NEED you to be. It's your life according to
the narcissist's script.
As Kathy Krajco wrote in her book
“What Makes Narcissists Tick”:
Narcissists try to make
you be what they say you are because, like a psychopath, they view you as an
object, not as a human person with perceptions and a mind of your own. They
view you as an extension of themselves (like a tool) to control. It is the
moral equivalent of control a rapist thinks he has over the body of another,
whom he views as but an object, and extension of himself, an executioner of his
will. Psychologists call this bizarre behavior “projective identification,” a
defense mechanism. The narcissist wants you to identify with the image he
projects on you. You are a mirror to reflect his fantasy, so he pressures you
to behave as though it is real.
Okay… So there’s that. We are nothing
but objects the malignant narcissist feels entitled to use abuse and exploit in
any way they please. They use control tactics such as lies, slander,
projection, triangulation etc. to create a false image of their target which is
always about glorifying themselves and degrading the victim. BUT, they also
have motive. They are very invested in the way the target behaves
because they have something at stake: malignant narcissists are continually
engaged in post abuse cover-up. The key word here is “behave.” Malignant
narcissists don’t care what the target thinks or how they feel or who
they really are. ALL people are just objects to the narcissist. The
malignant narcissist only care what their target thinks and feels insofar as it
affects their behavior. And they will do whatever it takes to pressure the
target into behaving according to their script.
Like a physical rapist who attacks
when there are no witnesses, the malignant narcissist carries-out violent
psychological rape covertly. The target, being the victim of the crimes is an
expert witness of the narcissist. The narcissist’s greatest fear is a credible
witness - the target. So, just as a rapist may use intimidation, blackmail,
gagging and threats to coerce the victim to silence; the narcissist abuser does
the same. But when control tactics fail to silence the victim, the malignant
narcissist goes in for the kill.
Character assassination is the
narcissist’s method of taking a hit out on the target. The idea is to stop the
target from reporting the narcissist's crimes to the authorities. Stop the
target from being taken seriously by the authorities. Stop the target from
taking the stand and testifying. The target is the most credible character
witness against the vile malignant narcissist and they know it, so they
retaliate like angry vandals smashing-up the target's most precious possession
– their character. Character assassination is punishment for unmasking the
malignant narcissist and breaking the "no talk" rule. It’s about
condemning the target to a life in prison for the crimes the narcissist
commits. Character assassination is about scapegoating the target, so the
target ends-up with the reputation and the life the malignant narcissist
deserves. Character assassination is about DESTROYING the evidence; the
credibility of their most damning witness - their main target(s).
I come from a family with 3 malignant
narcissist abusers, so I know how they operate. I’ve been observing them in
action since I slept in a crib. They ALL abuse on the sly. They ALL slander and
discredit me behind my back. They ALL paint me as the “problem.” And they ALL
play the victim. You better believe I’m a “problem” to the malignant narcissist
mob. I have escaped solitary confinement of “no talk” prison and my mouth is
running loose.
If going no contact is akin to placing
yourself in the witness protection program, then what I’ve experienced is like
being framed for a crime I didn’t commit, going to prison, breaking out and
being hunted with a target on my back. The malignant narcissists will stop at
nothing to make their target (me) take the fall. Just as a criminal doesn’t
want to do hard time, the malignant narcissist doesn’t want to face the
hardcore reality of who they are. As a result, the fugitive of a MN cult is
subjected to the same threat as any defector who escapes with a suitcase full
of sensitive inside information that could bring down the regime.
Character assassination, smear
campaigns and vandalizing the target’s image are tactics used by the malignant
narcissist to avoid public shame of the truth. The malignant narcissist is
terrified of having their freedom taken away – their freedom to abuse
and exploit others whenever the hell they want. They are complete frauds and
are absolutely terrified of being exposed.
Why are they so scared? Because
malignant narcissists rely on using, abusing and scapegoating others to feel
superior. And feeling superior is the name of the game. If they were forced to
acknowledge their debts and dependencies on others (even if their debts and
dependencies are through maltreatment) they would no longer appear superior.
The malignant narcissist would be completely humiliated if others knew their
limitations – that in order to feel good and appear good, they must make others
feel bad and look bad. That’s a pretty pathetic existence. Not only that,
they would likely be punished for exploiting others opportunistically. So,
malignant narcissists cover their tracks, by becoming cunning and devious,
concealing their true motives and actions as much as possible. This is where
character assassination comes in.
The ability to project an image is
relied upon more than ever when the narcissist is close to being outwitted and
exposed. At this stage, narcissists become completely deceptive and extremely
treacherous in an attempt to sustain whatever dishonesty they are guilty of
while not appearing to be dishonest.
If you have been on the receiving end
of a malignant narcissist post-abuse cover-up/character assassination then you
know this can create terrifyingly bizarre scenes that make you wonder if you
are living a nightmare. In fact, things can become so strange and surreal
that if you were to try and explain what the narcissist just pulled-off, people
would think you are tripping on psychedelic drugs. This is where I have to hand
it to those crazy evil fucks; they create scenarios that are so
inexplicable their victims are left tongue-tied. Malignant Narcissists will do
whatever, and I mean whatever it takes to cover their tracks -
including, inflicting MORE abuse on to the victim. In fact, the narcissist's
post-abuse cover-up is always more destructive than the original crime.
Who would believe a “sister” and
“mother” would call the police and accuse their victim of doing to them the
exact thing they are in the process of doing to her? Who would believe a sister
would lie to police and state her innocent sister is schizophrenic and violent
just to avoid the embarrassment of being outed a cyberstalker? Who would
believe a sister would lie outrageously to authorities and destroy her innocent
sister's reputation just to punish her for breaking the "NO TALK"
rule of the MN asylum? Who would believe protesting the malignant narcissist’s
viciousness, abuse and lies would drive the malignant narcissist cult to even
more extreme acts of brutality to dis-empower and silence the victim? For example,
the MN sister is given access by the MN father to clean-out her sister’s bank
account so she has no money and is forced to endure severe financial stress
that’s piled onto to the stress of her trying to obtain employment with a
massive road block the malignant narcissist intentionally laid with her
calculated slander; slander that was also spread to the victim’s neighbors that
resulted in the victim’s home environment being unsafe which forced her to have
to pack-up and move. That’s an example of how malignant narcissists use the
weight of mounting pressure to try and break the victim’s back. It’s called
intentional infliction of emotional distress and it's designed to kill, or, at
the very least, render the victim neutralized and to mentally and physically weak
to fight back.
The severity of the malignant
narcissist’s crime is of no significance to the MN. Whether they get CAUGHT
lying to police or snooping through your sock drawer, the gaslighting and
cruelties they inflict to try and silence the witness never match the crimes
they are in the process of covering-up. In the malignant narcissist’s eyes, the
victim is expendable. For example, the malignant narcissist mother doesn’t give
a damn if she destroys her daughter’s life to the point where she ends up
destitute and living on the streets, just as long as people never “believe”
what the daughter says about her being a bad mother. See what I’m saying? Their
maliciousness reaches delusional proportions as they become obsessed with
protecting their false image and ruining the victim so they can remain
superior... and triumph. It's very important for the malignant narcissist to
WIN at all costs.
Character assassination
destroys careers, marriages, and relationships, isolating the victim “to the
desert” of humankind. Except for the fortunate who have independent means, it’s
usually a trip down Skid Row, with one ramification after another barring every
way out and relentlessly crushing and hammering the victim into ---- guess
what? Exactly what their assassin says they are. This is where rag pickers and
bag ladies and suicides come from. The victim will ask why he bothered to be a
good person when what a person is isn’t up to him --- when it’s up to whatever
others choose to make of him. ---
“What Makes Narcissists Tick”
The malignant narcissist degrades and
humiliates others, trashes good names, maligns strong character and ruins
reputations because there is a huge pay off for them -
protection/cover-up/conspiracy of silence. They will stop at nothing to obstruct
the whistleblower from outing their morally repugnant, debauched, and parasitic
existence.
Bottom Line: If you cannot drop
off the grid, go into the no contact witness protection program or lay low then
the malignant narcissist better fear you, or you better have some kind of
power. Because if you decide to fight back, clear your name and expose the
narcissist cult you can expect to be under attack from all sides: finances,
career/job, home, relationships, reputation, children etc. It’s unrelenting and
it often ends in marginalization of the victim.
For those of you who aren’t convinced
of the malignant narcissist’s wrath when it comes to loss of control over their
false image and their victim, you might want to ask the question “How exactly
did Kathy Krajco die?”
Kathy Krajco, ACON blogger and author
of “What Makes Narcissists Tick” wrote under her real name, and she wrote
extensively about her abusive malignant narcissist father and sister. Kathy’s
mother died in 1992, and her father died in 2004. So by the time she was
blogging about malignant narcissism both her parents had passed away.
According to Kathy’s blog, her sister
Terese was gainfully employed as a teacher, but lived at home with her parents
her entire life. From what I gather, she mooched off her parents while hoarding
her own money and even ended up manipulating the MN father into disinheriting
Kathy. Kathy was also a teacher and I suspect she was a target of a career
smear campaign orchestrated by Terese. Throughout Kathy’s blog and book there
are numerous accounts of Terese’s bullying and abuse. For example, Kathy had a
heart condition and one day Terese, who lived across the street, hired a snow
plow guy to block Kathy’s driveway with snow. This meant that Kathy would have
to go out and shovel in order to get her car out of the driveway. It’s would
appear that Terese wanted to induce a heart attack in Kathy. Only a malignant
narcissist could dream-up a scheme like that.
Kathy died unexpectedly in her home on
May 9, 2008. She was 56 years old. Her sister Terese was the one who discovered
her body. After Kathy died, her blog started being mysteriously dismantled. The
only way that could happen is if someone had access to it. I know from
experience, that I can leave my blog sitting around dormant for months without
it being tampered.
I remember when I read online that
Kathy had died, I cried. It was a huge loss to the ACON blogging community. And
for years it bothered me that this brave woman who championed for the victims
of narcissistic abuse was taken from this world, while an evil malignant
narcissist (her sister) lived on.
Anna V of Narcissists Suck blog
ordered Kathy’s death certificate to find out the cause of death. There didn’t
appear to be anything suspicious in the report. Apparently Kathy died of
natural causes – her heart may have given out.
Despite this information, there has
always been a part of me that was left speculating whether or not Kathy’s
sister played a hand in her death. Perhaps it’s because I have a malignant
narcissist sister who is capable of anything, and wants to obliterate me for
breaking the “no talk” rule. I have witnessed how out of control a
malignant narcissist can become when they lose even an inch of control over
their target and their precious image.
A couple of months ago my curiosity
got the better of me and I read Kathy’s online obituary and Googled her
sister’s name. What I discovered is this: Terese Krajco retired from teaching
in 2012, and died in her home 5 years to the day that her sister Kathy died. I
find it significant that Terese Krajco died on the anniversary of Kathy’s
death.
Unlike Kathy’s obit that stated she
died “unexpectedly,” Terese Krajco’s obit simply said she died alone at home on
May 9, 2013 at the age of 59.
Is the date of Terese Krajco’s death a
coincidence or an indication of a disturbed personality carrying out a
ritualistic act? Did Terese assassinate Kathy? Did repressed guilt and shame
finally surface to the conscience of a malignant narcissist and prompt her to
off herself? Or, was she just fresh out of narc supply and saw no reason to carry
on? I don’t know, but I know this:
I know if I were to die “unexpectedly”
and under "suspicious" circumstances, I would want my sister to be a
person of interest and be thoroughly investigated. The bitch is totally capable
of murder. Or at least, hiring a thug to do it for her.
I’m living proof (no pun
intended) that my malignant narcissist sister is capable of character
assassination which is just as violent, if not crueler than a physical
assassination.
