Malignant narcissism is a dark
subject. And blogging about it is intense.
It takes going to
an uncomfortable place to find my rage. It requires mental and
emotional face time with bad memories. And in the case of this blogger,
it's requires embracing my own darkness: my unadulterated hatred of
what passes as human. If this seems extreme to you then you've
probably never stared into the dead eyes of a smirking malignant
narcissist.
Blogging about narcissism and the more malignant variety isn't just about the writing. It's also about the reading. The interacting. It's about the environment where we are "free" to express our truth. And it's about maintaining that freedom by keeping watch over our environment and fighting for our convictions. It's a battle in the real and online world.
Hey Narcs, you stop lying about me and
I'll stop telling the TRUTH about you.
The bull-shit never ends.
I'm not done exposing them... doubt I
ever will be. I can't just switch my bull-shit detector to
"off." It doesn't work that way. It's not
about "healing" or "recovering" from N abuse and
then becoming complaisant. Now wouldn't the narcissists love that? For all
of us to miraculously "heal" from their atrocities -
Hallelujah! - and fade away into the background. That must mean you're
"well", right? When you are no longer outraged by
injustice.
As long as there is a personality
disordered abuser or some other unspecified fuckhead getting all up
in my grill in real life or online, I will challenge them. It's the narcissist’s
nature to harm others and it's my nature to go after bullies.
My desire to speak the truth, my truth, will remain long
after I stop blogging. It's my passion.
I tell you this because I am damn sick
and tired of people labeling truthful blogs, vulnerability,
authenticity and righteous anger as a sign of weakness or being
"stuck", or not "healed" or
not "recovering" or "playing the victim" or being "vengeful" ... blah
de blah blah. Does it ever occur to this pinhead that maybe some people are natural fighters,
truth tellers and supporters and that’s why they're writing about
this stuff? Does it ever occur to these scaredy cats that these
bloggers and commenters are brave? Airing so-called "dirty
laundry" is about exposing the nuances of abuse. It's about
participating in a dialogue and keeping the information on
narcissists alive and out there? Does it ever occur to
these "silencers" that the movement to expose
the pathologicals among us is bigger than the sum of its parts? When
people march in a rally are they doing it just for themselves? No. They're
doing it for the cause, the greater good. I know all of this sounds idealistic.
But frankly, I don't know where the hell I would be if it weren't for the
brave souls who first took to the net to carve the way. A difference is
being made. For me, blogging on this subject is about activism.
You're either part of the problem or
part of the solution. So what's the solution? So much exposure that being able
to spot a narcissist and run like hell before they bite becomes
second nature to all. And if you can't run before they harm you, you expose
their sorry ass because it's the societal "norm" to do so.
I look forward to the day when emotional abuse is considered a crime punishable
by law.