Every single motivation behind the narcissist’s abuse stems from a pathological need to control what others think, feel, say and do. Every loathsome narcissistic trait such as covetousness, entitlement, greed and predation is an off-shoot of the narcissist’s delusion of control over the entire world, and everyone, and everything in it.
Showing posts with label Narcissistic Rage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Narcissistic Rage. Show all posts
Monday 27 June 2011
Thursday 9 June 2011
The Narcissist's Shock Tactics
Narcissists are mental and emotional terrorists, and like terrorists, they strike when you least expect it.
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Tuesday 31 May 2011
Never Show "Vulnerability" to a Narcissist
Never show signs of weakness around a narcissist because when
you’re down that’s precisely when they’re going to kick. This is true for
all narcissists, from your garden variety straight on up to the malignant.
All narcissists salivate at the sign of a vulnerable target - be it
mental, emotional or physical vulnerability.
Narcissists are spineless bullies. They are insecure, jealous,
inadequate, attention seeking little brats trapped in the body
of an adult. Have you ever referred to a narcissist as a strong person? I
doubt it. Narcissists are immature weaklings and cowards. Their
personality disorder makes them so. When they see an easy opportunity to strike
they can’t help themselves.
They are nasty little children and they don’t fight fair.
Malignant narcissists are predators by nature and predators devour
the bleeding and the injured. They can't help themselves; it’s their
animal instinct. They respond to your vulnerability like a rabid junkyard
dog to a meaty bone: they’ve gotta chomp on it.
So I ask you, are you going to show insecurity around
a sadistic little brat who’s always looking for ways to vaunt themselves
at your expense? Are you going to
show signs of weakness around a vicious predator whose very nature is
to attack vulnerable prey? Narcissists are unsafe, period. But they
are especially dangerous when you are in a weakened
state. Sharks sniff out blood.
All narcissists identify with other abusers, so if you have
been harmed by another person – most likely another narcissist - do not tell
them. The narcissist will not only pathologize you but defend their fellow
narcissist. Feel better now? The narcissist does. You see, narcissists are
always scrounging around for validation of their abusiveness. If you offer up
proof of another harmful person – in the narcissist's eyes – you have
justified their own cruel behaviour. Birds of a feather and all that.
In the most sinister way; the vile narcissist will attribute
virtues to your abuser while giving you a good kick. For example, you are in
utter distress because a co-worker has been bullying, undermining, and
sabotaging you for over a year. He's trying to get you fired; he wants your
job. You are at wits end, losing sleep, nervous, stressed out and ready
to quit your job because of the situation. The narcissist - let's call
her Sherry - will simply be delighted to hear of your dilemma,
and react to your predicament by saying, “Oh, come on. He’s not a bad person.
He’s just a hard worker and his job is important to him. Maybe he’s been taking
notes on you. You’re just not taking very good care of yourself.”
See what the narcissist did? Sherry just defended her
fellow narcissist saying that he’s a good guy, a hard worker, cares about
his job and obviously has dirt on you. The narcissist just told you that you
are bad, lazy, you don’t care about your job, and that you’re obviously doing
something that warrants note taking and the narcissist’s abuse. Furthermore,
the narcissist assigned the cause of your distress to you for not
taking care of yourself. It’s your fault. Get it? You were asking for it.
That’s why the co-worker narcissist abused you, and that’s why Sherry
is justified in abusing you. The vile narcissist feels better
now.
Here's another example of the narcissist's
callousness. You've been in a serious accident in which you suffered a
massive cut to your face. The injury was so bad that it required plastic
surgery. You are still in a state of shock from the accident; you
are beaten-up, stitched-up, battered and bruised. You are distressed
at the state of your face; you are weakened and run down from
surgery. Laid up in bed, you make the mistake of sending a fact
based email notifying a narcissist of your accident. Let's
call the vile narcissist Myra. Myra responds with a one
line email that says, "Keep it in perspective." She adds a link
to a YouTube video of a guy with no arms and no legs. Feel better
now? The vile narcissist Myra does.
Let's take a look at what both of the narcissists
did. They placed themselves above you as your judge:
"Keep it in perspective." "You're not taking care of
yourself." This condescending superiority aggrandizes the narcissist.
They denied you any attention and let you know that you don't matter.
They blamed you, the victim, and attributed virtues to your
abuser. They dismissed and minimized your experience. Let you
know that you had no right to even bring up your accident, let alone feel anything because
someone out in YouTube land has no arms and legs (as if they care). They
justified their outrageous callousness and derived pleasure from you pain.
And get this: Sherry calls you up bawling her
eyes out because her date stood her up, and she expects you to comfort her.
Myra - a 65 year old woman - calls you up bawling her eyes out because her
sister doesn't have time to frame her paintings for her show, and she expects
your sympathy.
Ugh! You get it: they're narcissists. They are big babies and parasitic bottom feeders who are always scrounging the surface of every interaction looking for ways to feed. Their entire existence is based on deep rooted selfishness.
Here’s one final example of a
narcissist taking advantage of your vulnerability. You've had a bad
fall in which you suffered a massive cut to your face. You are
still recovering and you are coming to terms with the fact
that your face is going to be permanently scarred. The narcissist knows
that you are self-conscious about the scar on your face and how it is
healing.
You visit the narcissist and notice that he needs
a few things around the house. Although you are the one in need of care, you go
out and purchase a bunch of helpful and thoughtful items for the narcissist.
You package everything up really nice and with a smile present the big bag of
goodies to the narcissist. The narcissist takes the gift bag and with a
big smirk on his face and an evil glint in his eye, he snarks, “that thing
on your face is really red.” You can’t hide the fact that he hurt your
feelings. The narcissist looks like he is high on drugs.
When you are in a weakened state that’s when the
narcissist's fangs come out. Vulnerability makes you the perfect target to
abuse, control and manipulate. Never let a narcissist know that someone has
done you wrong; never let them sniff out an insecurity; never let them see you
sweat. What elicits warmth and compassion in normal people, provokes an
act of shocking inhumanity in a narcissist. They will attack when you
can't defend yourself and deny you whatever you are in need of: be it
serious medical attention, a roof over your head or an ounce of sympathy.
Don’t ignore the twisted aggression inherent
in all narcissists. Don’t engage in fantasy and magical thinking. Don't try to
penetrate their callousness. When we refuse the truth of what the
narcissist really is, we leave the door wide open to abuse.
Whatever is ruling your emotions at the time will
be used against you by the narcissist. Don’t involve them in the sensitive
areas of your life, don’t let them into your head space, keep them away from
your wounds. Protect yourself. If you must be in contact with a narcissist,
play your cards very close to your vest. Don't display any signs of
neediness. They are the enemy of goodwill and the last people you want
around during a time of crisis.
Narcissists are terrorists who invade mental
and emotional borders. They are constantly engaged in an invisible war of
control. It's ALWAYS about their boundaries, their
terms, their agenda, and their conveniences while you lie
dying by the side of the road.
Saturday 28 May 2011
Malignant Narcissist, Covetous Sociopath, Bully, Liar, Slanderer...
It doesn't matter what you call them: malignant
narcissist, covetous sociopath or bully. They are one and the same. They
are all predators who target people that provoke in them a desire for
something they have, or for something they are. The covert power
game and systematic destruction of another who put puts their
wretched selves to shame is sport for the malignant
narcissist. They excel at it. They’ve been practicing since birth. It
gives them a thrill and makes them feel alive. That is why malignant
narcissists are unsafe for human interaction, period. If you
have been targeted by a malignant narcissist and they have access to you, they
will try and destroy you: that’s their nature. It's not complicated. Run like
hell.
Having two narcissists as parents was no picnic
(they divorced long ago). Though sometimes I feel lucky that they
both weren’t malignant. Unfortunately, my sister made up the difference.
She is a malignant narcissist like my mother and I have had a target on my back
since birth. Not one, but two dangerous predators working as a team have been
hunting me all-my-life. Malignant narcissist sister tried to kill me
twice (that’s another post) and MN mother slipped me a note - twice
- that suggested I should commit suicide (that’s another post).
I’ve stayed out of reach of these two dangerous
predators for 20 years and yet they still managed to stalk me and wreak
havoc on my life over the phone, online and through email.
Truth be told; that's the main reason I'm blogging on the subject of
malignant narcissism - those two crazy bitches, and others who are exactly like
them. Take it from someone who has been there: If you've been targeted by
a malignant narcissist – particularly a family member – you will NEVER be safe
in their sphere of influence because they will never stop trying to
destroy you.
If the malignant narcissist can extract
information from anyone, and I mean anyone, who is in contact
with you, they will. They will create a smear campaign over the most innocuous
slice of your life. For example, you tell Bob that a car rear ended you; the
malignant narcissist knows that you’re in contact with Bob, and even though the
malignant narcissist doesn’t have a relationship with Bob, she calls
him now and again just to see if she can dig up dirt on you –
that’s how brazen and predatory the malignant narcissist is. The blood
thirsty malignant narcissist manages to pry this tiny tidbit of
information – about a minor car collision - out of Bob. The malignant
narcissist then concocts an elaborate pathology of you based on a 5
second mention of a fender bender. She spreads her work of
fiction far and wide in order to generate a negative view of you in
everyone’s eyes. Remember: the malignant narcissist
is ravenous; she hasn't had her supply since you went no contact;
she is irritable and aggressive and is chomping at the bit
to destroy you by any means possible.
If the malignant narcissist can’t violate your
mind directly, the next best thing is to dirty up other people’s minds with bad
thoughts of you. This is achieved through lies, slander, false
rumours, undermining, creating doubts and suspicions and by encouraging
and manipulating people to withhold information and spread misinformation.
Don’t think for a second that sharing an innocent
piece of information such as being in a fender bender is harmless – it isn’t. Any
information about you is ammunition for the devious malignant narcissist
and it will be used to attack you. That’s why it is so important to sever all
lines of communication that are open to your abuser. Even if you don’t
care what her cohorts and copycat abusers think, she’s still getting a power
rush out of the game. And the worst part: the slimy bitch will malign you all
under the pretense of “concern”. It’s enough to make you sick. She puts
on a schmaltzy performance as a "caring" person;
meanwhile, behind closed doors, she’s plotting your destruction. And,
the brain dead 'pod-people' buy her act. What a joke! It's no
surprise that narcissists surround themselves with imbeciles.
No wonder people are taking to the internet to
expose the truth. Narcissistic abuse is not only an assault of a person’s human
dignity; it’s a never ending cycle of re-victimization by an abuser who
literally gets high and mighty through the process of your destruction. In
short, narcissistic abuse is an assault on a person’s human dignity by those
who have NO dignity – that is an outrage!
Malignant narcissists are disgusting, filthy, reprehensible creatures. They are violent mental and emotional rapists, and as such, they think like rapists. A rapist knows that they are dirty. They are secretly ashamed of themselves for their perversions. So, in order for the mental rapist to feel clean, they must dirty up their victim. That’s where spreading rumours, lies and slander comes in. But we all know that slander is just projection. So, whatever LIES the vile narcissist is spreading about you, is actually the TRUTH about the narcissist.
Unfortunately, most people are easily duped into
swallowing the narcissist’s load of crap. Female narcissists are masters at
manipulating people through their emotions, beliefs, attitudes and perceptions.
Malignant narcissist sister once said to me with a spooky giggle,
"It's so easy to use the power of suggestion on
Dad." Creepy, eh? There is underlying sinister intent to everything she
says and does.
Another thing that people don’t get is that the
narcissist needs NO reason to be hostile to their target. Normal people
attack for natural motives like revenge or retaliation. Not so the narcissist.
They simply attack people who possess something they want. For the
narcissist believes that everything belongs to her, and if
someone has a little of it, then she's not getting all of it.
Pathological greed, entitlement, and covetousness are what makes the
malignant narcissist a dangerous predator. They are forever out
to take, keep from, destroy and besmirch whatever they can
get their grimy paws on: be it your job, you home, your relationships, or your
reputation.
It is sheer malevolence to want to damage the
most valuable possessions of another. It is sheer malevolence to be hostile to
others getting what makes them happy and feel good about themselves. And, it is
beyond sick to have ill will toward people who aren’t harming you, have never
harmed you, and have never threatened to harm you. Malignant narcissists are
pure evil. Just look at who they target: vulnerable children, people who love
them, family, and the innocent.
Convicted criminals who steal out of necessity,
or shoot someone who tries to fight them off in a robbery, or commit murder out
of anger or for revenge are better than the malignant narcissist. The criminal
isn’t a threat to anyone else because he doesn’t go around wishing to hurt
others or see harm come to them. But the malignant narcissist does
- in every waking moment of her sad, sorry existence. The
malignant narcissist is a pestilent, disease spreading low-life and the
driving force behind her predation is insecurity, greed, entitlement and covetousness.
Remember; she's not normal. She's incapable of acquiring positive
attributes for herself, so she must take from others to even the
score.
The malignant narcissist's spiteful
envy compels her to steal from you and she wants to make
damn sure that you are severely harmed in the process. This clandestine
power game is priority number one, and all of the malignant narcissist’s
energies are devoted to it. The objective is POWER, CONTROL, and
DOMINATION and she will stop at nothing to win. Causing the downfall of others
gives her pleasure and victory means disempowering the target to a state of
suffering and loss while aggrandizing herself. So sad, that the pathetic little
narcissist must resort to such tactics but she knows no other way,
she's abnormal: socially, morally, emotionally and psychologically
retarded.
However, beneath her extreme treachery, the
malignant narcissist is still able to project an "image" -
albeit campy and over-the-top. So,
when people don’t incite her jealous rage, she lays on the
smarmy charm thick with a spoon and slyly uses those dimwits to
spread vicious rumours about her victim. All
the while, maintaining a false front as a well-meaning, do-gooder.
Blech! That is precisely why these sickos -
particularly women - can continue harming people. Why is the
average person so dense? Narcissists are lousy
actors.
Malignant narcissists love their
perverted sport, and they never want the game to end. It's all
they have. Let's face it; their lives are sad, so very sad. Take
away the narcissist's only reason for living – to hurt
others. Don’t be their play thing. Stay Far Far Away.