How The Malignant Narcissist Tries To Systematically Destroy You, Through The System

Being publically accused of a crime one did not commit could lead a person to jump off a bridge. Once the information is out there, defending yourself, clearing your name, fighting suspicion and tolerating disdain is a horrible predicament.  

Facing a criminal investigation or prosecution is deeply unsettling. Most people find they can’t sleep at night. They worry continually about what will happen to them. They feel that they stand alone — against the police and the Crown prosecutor and the machinery of the criminal justice system. There are few things in life so stressful and upsetting.

People in positions of authority can form strong opinions with false information and take unwarranted retaliatory action from expulsion from the clan to spreading the false word. In Jane Eyre, the cruel headmaster tells the girls to let no one be her friend, take her hand or comfort her. You get the sense that this is the worst for Jane, worse than the head blow and the lack of bread.

If the accusations are not true, the person is in a situation that is similar to being bullied. Even if one is rich, successful, famous or “has it all,” the psychological devastation can be ruinous. If you are not believed, if you cannot fight back with the true story, if now you are distrusted and under scrutiny, the sense of helplessness is overwhelming. People with inner vulnerabilities are easy targets. Others sense the fragility and find it thrilling to gang up or attack. Having a scapegoat can help a group form a strong bond and find meaning in what could be otherwise empty lives.

It is widely known that people with certain kinds of pathology are brilliant at looking like victims when they are actually perpetrators. They can ruin the life of an innocent person. You can see this on Law and Order, learn it in Psych 101 or know it instinctively.

When you hear a story, consider the narrator. Who is this person? Why is she telling this story when she is? What feelings does she convey when she tells it? If there was true victimization, then the wish to retaliate is utterly understandable. You as the listener may feel like crying too. But what if the true story is not as it seems? You might have a strange lack of empathy. Sometimes people dramatize. Some lie or they feel so injured for rational or irrational reasons that they come to believe their own distortions. There are those who are at peace when they lie and those who toss, turn and torture themselves about doing so. In short, some people lie and some do not.

You might wonder as you listen, is this person truly seeking wellness, self-protection or justice or is the goal to destroy someone else? If a person is lying to hurt someone else it is a very aggressive act and the accuser needs help. Such choices do not foster a healthy existence with generous, loving relationships.

You might hear a tale of woe, and just have the feeling that the teller is not all that woeful. Maybe there is a need to blame or malign for secondary gain: attention, fame, money, importance or drama. Maybe the person is not in touch with reality and is retaliating against an imagined transgression. Some seemingly intact people can have paranoid fears at the core. In order to “defend” themselves they act against others. Maybe the goal is to take someone else down for competitive, regressed, or even unconscious reasons. They just want what the other one has.

Making a false accusation in a public way is an aggressive act. In the movie The Bad Seed, a sociopathic child has an angelic demeanor and manages to destroy many lives. Sweet faces, soft voices and tears can hide sadistic impulses.

Source: Psychology Today

When Our Abusers Stalk Our Anonymous Blogs

Isn’t it interesting that our narcissist abusers, of which we are estranged for years, even decades, somehow manage to “stumble upon” our ANONYMOUS blogs? Actually, it’s not that interesting or unusual. It’s quite common in the ACON community to be under surveillance by the deranged and the estranged. Malignant narcissists are predators who obsessively stalk their prey. This never stops. MNs must always maintain the illusion of power and control over their victim, even after decades of no contact. Going no contact and wanting nothing to do with them upsets the power balance and makes the narcissist feel out of control. Secretly infiltrating our lives, our space, our online group of other like-minded individuals, violating our privacy and even gaslighting via fake comments gives them the power rush they crave and a strong sense of control. 

Typical of covert abusers, narcissists want to stalk us on the sly but at the same time let us know they're watching us. "I can see you, but you can't see me!" It's a never ending invisible war of domination and control. It's a lifelong game of cat and mouse. "You will not expose me! I will expose you first!" The thing is, we don't want to expose them (unless of course they have committed crimes) - that's the point of writing ANONYMOUSLY. But just to trump us, they will out themselves as our abusers to play the victim and rob us of our anonymity. They expose themselves because they are utterly shameless when it comes to their abuses. They rip away our privacy because they need to exert control. It's always about power plays with narcissists. Think: 5 year old trapped in the body of an adult throwing temper tantrums, cajoling, manipulating, coercing, LYING and persuading in order to get their way. Narcissists have the emotional and moral maturity of a child. That's why so much of their behavior defies logic. 

From what I've read, there have been plenty of premeditated invasions of ACON blogs. These narcissists don't just happen to "stumble upon" our blogs. They are hunting us. Some of the more devious MN perpetrators lay in wait for years stalking, spying, monitoring and observing their prey online. They have feeds of our blogs and they take screen shots of the content and even print-out hundreds and hundreds of pages. They are studying us, gathering intelligence and stock piling information that they will twist and turn and try to use against us at a later date… when it suits their nefarious agenda. They compulsively watch and salivate over their prey in a manner similar to those addicted to online pornography. I believe their perverted voyeuristic behavior even gives them an erotic charge. Like all sadists, they are turned on by inflicting pain and causing emotional, psychological and financial harm to others. The MN stalkers are captivated by our lives and extremely possessive of those they believe they own; especially the one they cannot control. Our blogs are a HUGE supply source to the malignant narcissist – a place where our feelings are captured on screen and available to snack-on whenever they feel the need to feed. Sort of like how the Wicked Witch of the West was fixated on Dorothy's journey and hunted her down through a crystal ball. The calculating narcissist lays in wait carefully studying our every move. She plots and plans and schemes and when the time is just right, she sics "her own personal army" of flying monkeys to attack. 

Can you imagine if it was a crime to write ANONYMOUSLY about the abuse inflicted by narcissists? Can you imagine if some "authority" banged down your door, arrested you for blogging ANONYMOUSLY about abuse and gave you a "No Blogging!" order? Can you imagine every ACON being banned from writing or speaking on any social media about abuse because it offends the abuser? Can you imagine facing jail time if you dare write ANONYMOUSLY about the horrendous violence inflicted on you by narcissists? Can you imagine a world run by narcissists, narcissist sympathizers and narcissist appeasers? Can you imagine a world where the malicious narcissist is protected from your outrage at the emotional, psychological and financial crimes committed against you? Can you imagine a world where the traumatized is disempowered, harassed, bullied, abused and OPPRESSED further by being made a criminal for speaking-out about their suffering? 

What if it was illegal for a blogger to write about her life on her own ANONYMOUS blog? Can you imagine if her sadistic abuser was given the power to police her blog about her life? Well, that would be one hell of a power high for the control freak narcissist. Can you imagine if the blogger wrote about her journey on surviving narcissistic abuse and was hauled in for questioning, arrested, and threatened with jail in order to "deter" her from writing ANONYMOUSLY about her life in the future? Can you imagine a system made up of narcissistic clowns who dictate what you think, say, and do? Can you imagine a system where it's dangerous to express your thoughts and feelings and personal opinions and the truth; a system that demands silence? Can you imagine having the "tone" in which you write policed? And being charged for "thought crimes"?

Welcome to my Orwellian Nightmare. Welcome to the Cult of Narcissistic Abuse - a means of social control permeating sick, dangerous and dysfunctional environments. Welcome to Draconian Canada - an oppressive country with covert thought police that do the bidding of narcissists and criminalize the victim for speaking out about injustice and abuse; a country that piles on with the narcissist and breaks the victim's back; a country that re-victimizes survivors of abuse by imposing harsh punishments, criminal records and threats of jail time for expressing ideas, opinions and life experiences creatively... and ANONYMOUSLY. 

Maybe you thin-skinned, self-righteous, cyberstalking motherfuckers should spend more time judging the malicious conduct of the abusers dressed in victim drag and less time condemning the "words" of the true victim. 

And get this straight: this blog is not for people like you. It's for people who have been screwed-over, ripped-off, betrayed, bullied, abused and violated by people like you!

Read Jonsi’s kick-ass blog post SECURITY BREACH to get an idea of how Narcissist Abusers operate online. Read the comments too. Here are some brilliant quotes:

…. because in the Merry-Go-Round world of the Ciphers and Vandals, they set themselves up to be exposed and then try to shame the Truth-talkers for exposing them: when in reality, the exposure was precisely what they wanted to begin with. 

There isn't anyone more interested in the SHOW of keeping their identities private than the assholes and psychos who know they've got something to hide. In their world, the formula is actually pretty simple: They want to be exposed when, and only when, they feel their followers will still side with them.

In the real world, my formula is simple too: don't give me anything to write about and you won't find yourself subject to my analysis . And if you don't like what I have to say, then move along little doggy.

 

I'm a human being, god-dammit! My Life Has Value!

I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth. Banks are going bust. Shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be.

We know things are bad — worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is: 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.'

Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get MAD! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot — I don't want you to write to your congressman, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. [shouting] You've got to say: 'I'm a human being, god-dammit! My life has value!'

So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell: I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

I want you to get up right now. Sit up. Go to your windows. Open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!...You've got to say, I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE! Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first, get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!  --- Network

The Sociopath Takes What She Wants

The “sociopath,” boiled down, is someone who routinely does, and takes, what she wants, unconcerned with the impact of her behavior on others. Nothing in my mind defines her essence more than this concise, factual description. She is rather unique, and thus diagnosable as a sociopath, to this precise extent. 

Sure, we’ve discussed this before, but it always merits, in my view, fresh reconsideration. And so let me add, I think, an important caveat: The sociopath doesn’t necessarily feel she has the “right” to what she’s pursuing, or planning to take.

Rather, she doesn’t feel she needs the right. She just needs the want.
Simply wanting what she wants, with or without the right to it, meets her standard for laying claim to her quarry.

Because after all, you may ask the sociopath, “Did you have a ‘right’ to take that? To steal it?” And she may answer, with intellectual honesty, “No. I realize, intellectually, that I had no right to what I took.”

Which gets to the nub, the essence, of her condition: Her “right” to what she wanted wasn’t relevant, didn’t even enter her thinking; rather, her wanting it was the sole factor necessary to support her comfortable, non-conflictual pursuit of it.

To sum up, the sociopath’s disordered essence is captured best in her pattern of taking, without remorse, what intellectually she may very well know doesn’t belong to her—she has no right to it—yet she takes it anyway.

To be clear: when I say that the sociopath intellectually can understand she may lack the “right” to what he’s taking, I’m not suggesting that she lacks a sense of entitlement. Quite the contrary: her sense of entitlement is all the more astounding for her intellectual awareness that she may lack the “right” to what she wants, yet still takes it. In doing so, she is exhibiting self-entitlement, and attitudes of contempt, in their gaudiest, most audacious forms.

One always must beware of oversimplifying complicated concepts. The sociopath’s disorder is complex on many levels. Yet on some levels the sociopath’s mentality isn’t so complicated at all. In some respects it’s pretty simple.

In this article I suggest the sociopath is, essentially, that strange, disconcerting, disruptive individual with a history, and pattern, of taking from others what doesn’t belong to her with an impoverished sense of shame and remorse. When you confront an individual with this history and pattern, you are dealing with a sociopath.


Source Steve Becker, LCSW. 

DID A SOCIOPATH LOOT YOUR FAMILY'S ESTATE?