FOR ADULT CHILDREN OF NARCISSISTS (ACONS) AND SURVIVORS OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
Wednesday 24 April 2013
Malignant Narcissists Are Homicidal
Haven’t you heard? Malignant Narcissists are superior beings, and as
superiors beings they don’t follow any rules; they write their own and the
inevitable result is corruption.
You won't believe it but I laughed when I read this post. I can't believe you have 'phrased' the horrendous truth that ones kith and kin sit and plot to kill their own kind. Can you imagine a wolf pack doing something like that, killing off the ones most likely to enable their survival, that's just a deformed way of thinking, it's unnatural, above all it's stupid.
My mother used to sit with evil bitch sister and discuss 'the scapegoat of the days' death and how they could bring that about, I used to hear them, as a child, talking about injecting someones fruit with noxious poison, setting fire to their house, blowing up their cars (which my sister did to her first ex husband). I cant believe that this became common place discussion EVERY Christmas lunch, the victim was usually in the same room. I used to be fascinated by the sheer unnaturalness of this. I am still flabbergasted. They just give me a headache.
After I went no contact I was the homicidal subject for a long time, my brothers girlfriend came over to my house one day sobbing her heart clean out of her chest, utterly distressed, that evil mother and evil sister had laughed all day about bringing about my murder. Seriously, just how screwed in the head do you have to be as a mother to rejoice in your daughters pending murder. And she never thought that I would have a problem with that, a problem with the discussion of my own friggin MURDER!!! What has to happen to someone for that to become not only normal, but almost sanctioned thought patterns. The truth is, and this is why I laughed when I read your post that after many many years of no contact I still expect the retarded horror to jump out and try to hurt me. And all for being, as you appear to be Lisette, a truth teller. And not even a vocal truth teller just someone who instinctively knows that they are cruds of people, thats all the MN needs to know is that you KNOW what they are, you don't even have to open your mouth.
Sometimes I think evil is too strong a word for them, it is kind of a powerful word, in a negative way, I dont think they are powerful, for either good or bad, I just think they are chumps, dupes, buffoons, wacky, inept, inane, silly and idiotic, almost slapsticky. If we were studying their kind from another planet (I use that example to envision perspective) we would think they were just bloody clowns, shitting where they eat type of people, even earthworms don't do that. The earthworm has out evolved them, that's not powerful, its pathetic.
"Sometimes I think evil is too strong a word for them, it is kind of a powerful word, in a negative way, I dont think they are powerful, for either good or bad, I just think they are chumps, dupes, buffoons, wacky, inept, inane, silly and idiotic, almost slapsticky."
You think evil is too powerful a word for them in a negative way and you think they are just silly and idiotic? Then you probably don't belong here. My entire blog is devoted to naming malignant narcissists evil because that exactly what they are. I don't believe the word evil or evil people should be treated as a taboo subject. Being direct about who and what they are disempowers them. That's why I make my posts so blunt: MNs are Homicidal. Yes, it's kind of funny because telling the truth blatantly is kind of naughty. Being all hush hush about them and the word evil, empowers them and keeps the truth hidden. I hope one day there is worldwide acceptance of the existence of evil. And when that time rolls around, that's when these evil fuckers will be scared. Right now people are afraid to use the word and instead opt to explain away and excuse evil. Evil relies on this worldwide cover-up and they are laughing at us all the way to hell.
Also, if you've ever been at the receiving end of covert psychological murder you would find the malignant narcissist far from "slapsticky." Malignant narcissists are sinister and capable of the most heinous crimes against humanity, and they can get away with them because they are so sly, so calculating, so cunning and covert.
Over the course of a year, I had 4 malignant narcissists try and psychologically murder me. This involved gaslighting, stalking, invasion of privacy, being ostracized, and at the receiving end of incredible lies, slander and a smear campaign. Interestingly, all 4 of the MNs - though they didn't know each other - attacked me all at once, when I was most physically and psychologically vulnerable: I was in a state of shock from a bad accident and post surgery when - BAM! Hit from all sides. I was not psychologically murdered, but I was psychologically injured and I ended up in the hospital. There was nothing silly about my MN mother and MN sister sinking their sharpest fangs into me when I was in the weakest physical and mental state of my life.
These pieces of shit have no rock bottom. I don't believe evil is a strong enough word for them.
Hey Anus, you are so full of shit! Oops. That was just word association - I meant Anonymous. Nah, Anus works.
Anus, I am in receipt of your other comments and have considered the content. Here's some adjectives to describe what I think of them and you: chump, dupe, buffoon, fool, inept, silly and idiotic.
This isn't a feeding ground for attention whoring narc trolls. Oh, and P.S. your writing style is off-putting.
"NOTHING is stopping the malignant narcissist from killing someone psychologically. Nothing. Physical violence is tangible – you can see it. A homicidal maniac is out there in the open for all to see leaving blood, bruises and broken bones, and if there are witnesses present they can pull the killer off the victim. With a covert psychological murderer the victim often has no proof they are being attacked. In fact, the victim often isn’t aware that it is happening. Some of the most severe psychological violence happens in plain sight and that’s what makes it so insidious." Boy did you nail it right here, and this is what makes this monsters so dangerous. Evilb sucked the soul right out of me while I was growing up, leaving me as nothing more than an empty body just walking around going through the motions of life. This bitch stole my ability to think; my ability to feel happiness, and my very will to live. What other kid would be contemplating suicide to a point of creating a plan at the age of 9 or 10?
The worst part is that no one knew she was doing, and I couldn't explain it to anyone - If I even tried, I'd be shut down with, "Now you know your mother loves you." At the insistence of my school, she drug me to a couple of therapists feigning concern, but I couldn't explain it. I didn't even begin to figure it out that I had been mind-fucked my whole life until I was in my mid 20s!
"Also, if you've ever been at the receiving end of covert psychological murder you would find the malignant narcissist far from "slapsticky." Malignant narcissists are sinister and capable of the most heinous crimes against humanity, and they can get away with them because they are so sly, so calculating, so cunning and covert. " Couldn't agree more...MN and "slapsticky" don't belong together, and if this an accurate description, I would have to guess that the disordered person must have something else going on.
I don't deny that the MN's behavior is outrageous. The thing is, their outrageousness lands others in the ER, a psych ward, prison or an early grave. What is truly outrageous is that they get away with it.
IMO, the comment left by Anon above @05:21 indicates indeed, they already *are* residing on "another planet." Least there be no ambiguity, here's the dictionary definition of- evil adj. 1 morally bad; wicked; 2 injurious, harmful; 3 disastrous, calamitous; 4 of ill repute SYN adj wrong, depraved, corrupt, vicious Get it NOW? If not, you haven't been on the receiving end of an MN homicidal family member. Lucky you. Many of us have and I can assure you, when it's YOUR life on the line it isn't "inept, inane, silly" or "idiotic." These adjectives are clearly descriptive of your own ignorance. It's a miracle I wasn't toe-tagged by 3 and certainly by 13 courtesy of Psychobitch. She knew exactly what she was doing and did it intentionally, repeatedly and in a clearly targeted fashion. Nonetheless, they all attempt to systematically murder their children psychologically and in the cruelest manner often without leaving any overt manifestations least that child come to the attention of the authorities. When they're not beating you to death physically, they're beating you to death psychologically day in, day out. This is the consistent experience of a child with an MN "Parent" and/or "Sibling." In my experience bruises fade, burns scar over, broken bones mend. It is the psychological homicide that leaves the longest legacy: There is nothing remotely "slapsticky" about that REALITY. Evil is not some abstract concept that excludes parents or siblings etc. and it's not gonna show up sporting a bad sunburn, horns, a long tail and a pitchfork-at least not on planet Earth. TW
Just found your site. From your experience, do you have guidance on your site on how to best protect my kids from my NPD/BPD wife? I have researched and put into practice many things but will never stop trying to learn and improve.
Mike, my blog is primarily for Adult Children of Narcissists. I really don't have any guidance on how to best protect your kids from their NPD/BPD mother. I would suggest that you continue to read the posts and comments and apply any useful information to your situation.
Interestingly, despite her homicidal impulses, my malignant narcissist mother fully believes she is "good" - or at least *appears* to believe it. (more on this later) She works this by creating some bizarro "moral" code by which many things considered to be heinous are good. Child abuse? It's good - teaches those kids a lesson. Rape or other type of assault? Good - they must have done something to deserve it. Torture? Rounding people up and shooting them? All good, our country would be a better place if it did this more often. And dozens more examples like this. That's mom. She likes it, therefore it is morally righteous.
Conversely, should you say you believe in a more peaceable way of handling things - like, not committing genocide, for example - then you are the evil one. Evil with a capital E. She will get on the phone to everyone she knows and tell them how very evil you are....even if she has to make up a bunch of huge whopping lies* to make her story sound more believable.
Now, as I said, she *appears* to believe she's good, on the side of righteousness. She certainly talks like it, behaves like she believes it, though I suspect it's a thin cover for her sadism. This is how she justifies her glee at seeing people harmed or killed. She calls it justice, or says they deserved it, and somehow it reinforces her idea that's she's a shining example of righteousness. But whether she's actually lying to herself, or just lying to everyone else, I'm not sure. When confronted about it, she just goes weirdly blank, like her mind has snapped for a moment, before freaking the hell out with full-on narc rage. Yes, I believe she's capable of killing, either physically or psychologically. She came real close to fatally injuring me in childhood, and I do know that her first child - which she didn't want - died in infancy. No explanation was ever given, and I've always had questions in the back of my mind about it.
*The fact that she does make up outrageous stories to tarnish other people's names indicates she does know what she's doing. She must know that "my daughter is evil because she thinks genocide is wrong" won't fly with most people. She seems perfectly lucid when she's working a smear campaign. It's just the way she seems to disappear into some delusional never-never land when confronted with these things that makes me wonder what's going on in her mind. I'm in no way suggesting my mother is a typical MN. She seems to be less clever and more emotionally unstable/delusional than most. She's every bit as dangerous though.
Elena, IMO, you nailed it. Anyone who identifies with the Aggressor, who manipulates evil into anything other than what it is whether through lies, re-writing history, covert or overt pontificating etc. demonstrates the ass-backwards responses typical of MNs. The unceasing determined attempts at any cost-particularly to their Target-to cloak themselves in "Righteousness" in an effort to "Appear" what they are not indicates very clearly once again, they *do* know the difference: They chose to be what they are and they do revel in their sadism. This has been my experience as well, FWIW. TW
my mom tried to blame her shenanigans on my father and sister and in the end she almost pulled it off. If she could have taken some heat off her there would would have been no 'white" oleander epiphany at the end of the movie just wrongful convictions end I promise you she would have seen it through maybe my father would have strangled her in the courtroom an fhr might have been alive today.
I couldn't agree more Lisette that the Malignant Narcissist is all about killing life. These predators operate in the realm of the soul. And just like in the animal kingdom, certain predators are made to kill other animals, these people are made to kill souls and all life around them. My very own mother is a malignant narcissist and wherever she goes, destruction follows. I watched her all my life and her energy is so toxic that anything electronic, totally breaks down in her presence. The other day, she used my hair dryer (that had been working fine until then) and instantly the motor started going into smoke and making these weird noises and jammed. She would my dad's car, and the engine light would come on or something electronic would fizzle in her presence. Also, my mother always hated any displays of affection, love, joy or anything that would represent life. She would hate it when I'd hug my brother and tell him I loved him. She'd attack me for it and reprimand me if I bought him any gifts. It is my firm opinion that these Narcissists are born to destroy life. They represent DEATH. Wherever they go, darkness, depression and death ensues. They cloak themselves behind the role of family and that's where they wreak the most havoc. They are ruthless killers of souls, especially of their own flesh and blood. Humankind is made to live life with love and joy. Not them. These people are the exact opposite, made to destroy any semblance of life. Anyone who disagrees with this, has definitely never experienced or dealt with a malignant narcissist.
"Susan" thank-you for paraphrasing my blog post. Well done.
I have to ask, if you believe malignant narcissists are made to kill souls and life all around them then why are you hanging-out with your MN mother? Do you keep her around for her superconducting energy charge, just in case the power goes out?
Lisette- I have gone NC with my MNM, it's been 1.5 years. I kept getting violently ill towards the end of our interaction, and that's when I realized, that I needed to go NC.
Lisette - Also, I reread my post and I did post "the other day, my mom used my hair dryer", which would make it seem I am in contact with her. I apologize, that is not accurate. That line should have read, "the other day, I recalled how she used my hairdryer...". Thanks.
WE always need to be mindful of it being the little things that tell the true nature of their beast inside a parent . When a narc parent is demoralizing their child they let slip many tells that go right over their own heads not to mention the person they are dogging and who they are dogging you/us to you to. My mother would never cop to her criminal past but she would sometimes say thingsthat are a ded give away like someone must have dropped you on your head when you were a kid Ummm that would be you bitch. or some gene pool comment which is composed of half hers and an automatic indictment of hers. Or just about anything. Shit runs downhill bitch and I am on the downhill run from you. We are what they made us but they are too obtuse to see it that way. If someone gins out a serial killer they look at the mother first thing. Why not for anything else?
Susan It's weird my mother said she does the same thing to electronics appliances and said she can't keep a watch because they fizzle out after a while. Luckily the bitch is dead now but I believed it growing up in her presence.
Great article Lisette! Lots of wisdom that I will reread often. As mother's day approaches, I notice I am thinking on some of these topics. Thank heavens I've been NC for 3 years, but the holiday still brings some ugly memories to the surface that need to be worked through. Too bad as kids we didn't have the training the military gives to the troops for 'in case you become a prisoner of war'. I think it would have been pretty useful for withstanding the mindfuck from the MNmom.
They poisoned the dogs after I left,systematic. It was So sad my son hid the facts from me,then confessed. Its like he could not deal with his mother and grandmother killing the dogs. All 4 dogs were dead with in 2 years of my leaving,my dog first. They all were bleeding from mouth. Myself I could not go near house to get dogs. By the time I found out how they died it was to late to press charges. Malignant Narcissist will kill.
It's my guess it's the development of the nuclear family that has led to the current epidemic in child abuse from malignant narcissism. It's the closed nature of the modern family that ensures this evil continues. Pre industrial societies were close knit and the extended family was the norm and a high degree of oversight would have prevented malignant narcissists doing their evil. Also, the conditions that human beings evolved in was the tribal one for countless millenia and I imagine child abuse could not have occurred unnnoticed under such conditions with such a high degree of community interaction of its members. The group itself would've corrected its evil members. Of course understanding that reality doesn't solve the problem. The state can't start putting cameras in people's houses and so sadly it continues insulated behind closed doors.
Great article, you certainly have a grasp on this. You are right, there is no such thing as a benign narcissist, they are toxic - all of them. Also just wanted to let you know that I actually coined the term "covert psychological murder" myself back in 2011 in order to describe suicide as a result of narcissistic/sociopathic abuse.
Marcos, looks like you didn't actually coin the term "covert psychological murder."
Attachment, Intimacy, Autonomy: Using Attachment Theory in ... https://books.google.ca/books?isbn=1568218729 Jeremy Holmes - 1996 - Psychology As Bowlby (1988) pointed out, this covert psychological murder is highly dangerous if it remains unacknowledged, a death waiting to be enacted. As Winnicott .
Thank-you so much lisette,for this awesome blog. I
ReplyDeletereally did not know there was a name for this sort of evil.
You won't believe it but I laughed when I read this post. I can't believe you have 'phrased' the horrendous truth that ones kith and kin sit and plot to kill their own kind. Can you imagine a wolf pack doing something like that, killing off the ones most likely to enable their survival, that's just a deformed way of thinking, it's unnatural, above all it's stupid.
ReplyDeleteMy mother used to sit with evil bitch sister and discuss 'the scapegoat of the days' death and how they could bring that about, I used to hear them, as a child, talking about injecting someones fruit with noxious poison, setting fire to their house, blowing up their cars (which my sister did to her first ex husband). I cant believe that this became common place discussion EVERY Christmas lunch, the victim was usually in the same room. I used to be fascinated by the sheer unnaturalness of this. I am still flabbergasted. They just give me a headache.
After I went no contact I was the homicidal subject for a long time, my brothers girlfriend came over to my house one day sobbing her heart clean out of her chest, utterly distressed, that evil mother and evil sister had laughed all day about bringing about my murder. Seriously, just how screwed in the head do you have to be as a mother to rejoice in your daughters pending murder. And she never thought that I would have a problem with that, a problem with the discussion of my own friggin MURDER!!! What has to happen to someone for that to become not only normal, but almost sanctioned thought patterns. The truth is, and this is why I laughed when I read your post that after many many years of no contact I still expect the retarded horror to jump out and try to hurt me. And all for being, as you appear to be Lisette, a truth teller. And not even a vocal truth teller just someone who instinctively knows that they are cruds of people, thats all the MN needs to know is that you KNOW what they are, you don't even have to open your mouth.
Sometimes I think evil is too strong a word for them, it is kind of a powerful word, in a negative way, I dont think they are powerful, for either good or bad, I just think they are chumps, dupes, buffoons, wacky, inept, inane, silly and idiotic, almost slapsticky. If we were studying their kind from another planet (I use that example to envision perspective) we would think they were just bloody clowns, shitting where they eat type of people, even earthworms don't do that. The earthworm has out evolved them, that's not powerful, its pathetic.
Your truthfulness is so healing.
"Sometimes I think evil is too strong a word for them, it is kind of a powerful word, in a negative way, I dont think they are powerful, for either good or bad, I just think they are chumps, dupes, buffoons, wacky, inept, inane, silly and idiotic, almost slapsticky."
DeleteYou think evil is too powerful a word for them in a negative way and you think they are just silly and idiotic? Then you probably don't belong here. My entire blog is devoted to naming malignant narcissists evil because that exactly what they are. I don't believe the word evil or evil people should be treated as a taboo subject. Being direct about who and what they are disempowers them. That's why I make my posts so blunt: MNs are Homicidal. Yes, it's kind of funny because telling the truth blatantly is kind of naughty. Being all hush hush about them and the word evil, empowers them and keeps the truth hidden. I hope one day there is worldwide acceptance of the existence of evil. And when that time rolls around, that's when these evil fuckers will be scared. Right now people are afraid to use the word and instead opt to explain away and excuse evil. Evil relies on this worldwide cover-up and they are laughing at us all the way to hell.
Also, if you've ever been at the receiving end of covert psychological murder you would find the malignant narcissist far from "slapsticky." Malignant narcissists are sinister and capable of the most heinous crimes against humanity, and they can get away with them because they are so sly, so calculating, so cunning and covert.
Over the course of a year, I had 4 malignant narcissists try and psychologically murder me. This involved gaslighting, stalking, invasion of privacy, being ostracized, and at the receiving end of incredible lies, slander and a smear campaign. Interestingly, all 4 of the MNs - though they didn't know each other - attacked me all at once, when I was most physically and psychologically vulnerable: I was in a state of shock from a bad accident and post surgery when - BAM! Hit from all sides. I was not psychologically murdered, but I was psychologically injured and I ended up in the hospital. There was nothing silly about my MN mother and MN sister sinking their sharpest fangs into me when I was in the weakest physical and mental state of my life.
These pieces of shit have no rock bottom. I don't believe evil is a strong enough word for them.
"Your truthfulness is so healing."
DeleteHey Anus, you are so full of shit! Oops. That was just word association - I meant Anonymous. Nah, Anus works.
Anus, I am in receipt of your other comments and have considered the content. Here's some adjectives to describe what I think of them and you: chump, dupe, buffoon, fool, inept, silly and idiotic.
This isn't a feeding ground for attention whoring narc trolls. Oh, and P.S. your writing style is off-putting.
That's right, I get the last word... not you.
Take a hike, clown!
"Your truthfulness is so healing." No murder has ever been committed by a Narcissist. Just ask one, they'll tell you.
Delete"she is more dangerous than her master" Interesting thing is that each generation is seemingly worse than the previous.
ReplyDelete"NOTHING is stopping the malignant narcissist from killing someone psychologically. Nothing. Physical violence is tangible – you can see it. A homicidal maniac is out there in the open for all to see leaving blood, bruises and broken bones, and if there are witnesses present they can pull the killer off the victim. With a covert psychological murderer the victim often has no proof they are being attacked. In fact, the victim often isn’t aware that it is happening. Some of the most severe psychological violence happens in plain sight and that’s what makes it so insidious."
ReplyDeleteBoy did you nail it right here, and this is what makes this monsters so dangerous. Evilb sucked the soul right out of me while I was growing up, leaving me as nothing more than an empty body just walking around going through the motions of life. This bitch stole my ability to think; my ability to feel happiness, and my very will to live. What other kid would be contemplating suicide to a point of creating a plan at the age of 9 or 10?
The worst part is that no one knew she was doing, and I couldn't explain it to anyone - If I even tried, I'd be shut down with, "Now you know your mother loves you." At the insistence of my school, she drug me to a couple of therapists feigning concern, but I couldn't explain it. I didn't even begin to figure it out that I had been mind-fucked my whole life until I was in my mid 20s!
"Also, if you've ever been at the receiving end of covert psychological murder you would find the malignant narcissist far from "slapsticky." Malignant narcissists are sinister and capable of the most heinous crimes against humanity, and they can get away with them because they are so sly, so calculating, so cunning and covert. "
Couldn't agree more...MN and "slapsticky" don't belong together, and if this an accurate description, I would have to guess that the disordered person must have something else going on.
Thanks for another great post!
ANON
I don't deny that the MN's behavior is outrageous. The thing is, their outrageousness lands others in the ER, a psych ward, prison or an early grave. What is truly outrageous is that they get away with it.
ReplyDeleteIMO, the comment left by Anon above @05:21 indicates indeed, they already *are* residing on "another planet." Least there be no ambiguity, here's the dictionary definition of-
ReplyDeleteevil adj. 1 morally bad; wicked; 2 injurious, harmful; 3 disastrous, calamitous; 4 of ill repute
SYN adj wrong, depraved, corrupt, vicious
Get it NOW? If not, you haven't been on the receiving end of an MN homicidal family member. Lucky you. Many of us have and I can assure you, when it's YOUR life on the line it isn't "inept, inane, silly" or "idiotic." These adjectives are clearly descriptive of your own ignorance.
It's a miracle I wasn't toe-tagged by 3 and certainly by 13 courtesy of Psychobitch. She knew exactly what she was doing and did it intentionally, repeatedly and in a clearly targeted fashion. Nonetheless, they all attempt to systematically murder their children psychologically and in the cruelest manner often without leaving any overt manifestations least that child come to the attention of the authorities. When they're not beating you to death physically, they're beating you to death psychologically day in, day out. This is the consistent experience of a child with an MN "Parent" and/or "Sibling."
In my experience bruises fade, burns scar over, broken bones mend. It is the psychological homicide that leaves the longest legacy: There is nothing remotely "slapsticky" about that REALITY. Evil is not some abstract concept that excludes parents or siblings etc. and it's not gonna show up sporting a bad sunburn, horns, a long tail and a pitchfork-at least not on planet Earth.
TW
Just found your site. From your experience, do you have guidance on your site on how to best protect my kids from my NPD/BPD wife? I have researched and put into practice many things but will never stop trying to learn and improve.
ReplyDeleteMike, my blog is primarily for Adult Children of Narcissists. I really don't have any guidance on how to best protect your kids from their NPD/BPD mother. I would suggest that you continue to read the posts and comments and apply any useful information to your situation.
DeleteInterestingly, despite her homicidal impulses, my malignant narcissist mother fully believes she is "good" - or at least *appears* to believe it. (more on this later) She works this by creating some bizarro "moral" code by which many things considered to be heinous are good. Child abuse? It's good - teaches those kids a lesson. Rape or other type of assault? Good - they must have done something to deserve it. Torture? Rounding people up and shooting them? All good, our country would be a better place if it did this more often. And dozens more examples like this. That's mom. She likes it, therefore it is morally righteous.
ReplyDeleteConversely, should you say you believe in a more peaceable way of handling things - like, not committing genocide, for example - then you are the evil one. Evil with a capital E. She will get on the phone to everyone she knows and tell them how very evil you are....even if she has to make up a bunch of huge whopping lies* to make her story sound more believable.
Now, as I said, she *appears* to believe she's good, on the side of righteousness. She certainly talks like it, behaves like she believes it, though I suspect it's a thin cover for her sadism. This is how she justifies her glee at seeing people harmed or killed. She calls it justice, or says they deserved it, and somehow it reinforces her idea that's she's a shining example of righteousness. But whether she's actually lying to herself, or just lying to everyone else, I'm not sure. When confronted about it, she just goes weirdly blank, like her mind has snapped for a moment, before freaking the hell out with full-on narc rage. Yes, I believe she's capable of killing, either physically or psychologically. She came real close to fatally injuring me in childhood, and I do know that her first child - which she didn't want - died in infancy. No explanation was ever given, and I've always had questions in the back of my mind about it.
*The fact that she does make up outrageous stories to tarnish other people's names indicates she does know what she's doing. She must know that "my daughter is evil because she thinks genocide is wrong" won't fly with most people. She seems perfectly lucid when she's working a smear campaign. It's just the way she seems to disappear into some delusional never-never land when confronted with these things that makes me wonder what's going on in her mind. I'm in no way suggesting my mother is a typical MN. She seems to be less clever and more emotionally unstable/delusional than most. She's every bit as dangerous though.
Elena, IMO, you nailed it. Anyone who identifies with the Aggressor, who manipulates evil into anything other than what it is whether through lies, re-writing history, covert or overt pontificating etc. demonstrates the ass-backwards responses typical of MNs.
ReplyDeleteThe unceasing determined attempts at any cost-particularly to their Target-to cloak themselves in "Righteousness" in an effort to "Appear" what they are not indicates very clearly once again, they *do* know the difference: They chose to be what they are and they do revel in their sadism. This has been my experience as well, FWIW.
TW
my mom tried to blame her shenanigans on my father and sister and in the end she almost pulled it off. If she could have taken some heat off her there would would have been no 'white" oleander epiphany at the end of the movie just wrongful convictions end I promise you she would have seen it through maybe my father would have strangled her in the courtroom an fhr might have been alive today.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more Lisette that the Malignant Narcissist is all about killing life. These predators operate in the realm of the soul. And just like in the animal kingdom, certain predators are made to kill other animals, these people are made to kill souls and all life around them. My very own mother is a malignant narcissist and wherever she goes, destruction follows. I watched her all my life and her energy is so toxic that anything electronic, totally breaks down in her presence. The other day, she used my hair dryer (that had been working fine until then) and instantly the motor started going into smoke and making these weird noises and jammed. She would my dad's car, and the engine light would come on or something electronic would fizzle in her presence. Also, my mother always hated any displays of affection, love, joy or anything that would represent life. She would hate it when I'd hug my brother and tell him I loved him. She'd attack me for it and reprimand me if I bought him any gifts. It is my firm opinion that these Narcissists are born to destroy life. They represent DEATH. Wherever they go, darkness, depression and death ensues. They cloak themselves behind the role of family and that's where they wreak the most havoc. They are ruthless killers of souls, especially of their own flesh and blood. Humankind is made to live life with love and joy. Not them. These people are the exact opposite, made to destroy any semblance of life. Anyone who disagrees with this, has definitely never experienced or dealt with a malignant narcissist.
ReplyDelete"Susan" thank-you for paraphrasing my blog post. Well done.
DeleteI have to ask, if you believe malignant narcissists are made to kill souls and life all around them then why are you hanging-out with your MN mother? Do you keep her around for her superconducting energy charge, just in case the power goes out?
Lisette- I have gone NC with my MNM, it's been 1.5 years. I kept getting violently ill towards the end of our interaction, and that's when I realized, that I needed to go NC.
DeleteLisette - Also, I reread my post and I did post "the other day, my mom used my hair dryer", which would make it seem I am in contact with her. I apologize, that is not accurate. That line should have read, "the other day, I recalled how she used my hairdryer...". Thanks.
ReplyDeleteWE always need to be mindful of it being the little things that tell the true nature of their beast inside a parent . When a narc parent is demoralizing their child they let slip many tells that go right over their own heads not to mention the person they are dogging and who they are dogging you/us to you to. My mother would never cop to her criminal past but she would sometimes say thingsthat are a ded give away like someone must have dropped you on your head when you were a kid Ummm that would be you bitch. or some gene pool comment which is composed of half hers and an automatic indictment of hers. Or just about anything. Shit runs downhill bitch and I am on the downhill run from you. We are what they made us but they are too obtuse to see it that way. If someone gins out a serial killer they look at the mother first thing. Why not for anything else?
ReplyDeleteSusan It's weird my mother said she does the same thing to electronics appliances and said she can't keep a watch because they fizzle out after a while. Luckily the bitch is dead now but I believed it growing up in her presence.
ReplyDeleteGreat article Lisette! Lots of wisdom that I will reread often. As mother's day approaches, I notice I am thinking on some of these topics. Thank heavens I've been NC for 3 years, but the holiday still brings some ugly memories to the surface that need to be worked through. Too bad as kids we didn't have the training the military gives to the troops for 'in case you become a prisoner of war'. I think it would have been pretty useful for withstanding the mindfuck from the MNmom.
ReplyDeleteNothing is beyond them.
ReplyDeleteThey poisoned the dogs after I left,systematic.
It was So sad my son hid the facts from me,then confessed.
Its like he could not deal with his mother and grandmother killing the dogs.
All 4 dogs were dead with in 2 years of my leaving,my dog first.
They all were bleeding from mouth.
Myself I could not go near house to get dogs.
By the time I found out how they died it was to late to press charges.
Malignant Narcissist will kill.
It's my guess it's the development of the nuclear family that has led to the current epidemic in child abuse from malignant narcissism. It's the closed nature of the modern family that ensures this evil continues. Pre industrial societies were close knit and the extended family was the norm and a high degree of oversight would have prevented malignant narcissists doing their evil. Also, the conditions that human beings evolved in was the tribal one for countless millenia and I imagine child abuse could not have occurred unnnoticed under such conditions with such a high degree of community interaction of its members. The group itself would've corrected its evil members. Of course understanding that reality doesn't solve the problem. The state can't start putting cameras in people's houses and so sadly it continues insulated behind closed doors.
ReplyDeleteStarting to understand, you've summed it up so well.
ReplyDeleteMany thanks
Great article, you certainly have a grasp on this. You are right, there is no such thing as a benign narcissist, they are toxic - all of them. Also just wanted to let you know that I actually coined the term "covert psychological murder" myself back in 2011 in order to describe suicide as a result of narcissistic/sociopathic abuse.
ReplyDeleteMarcos, looks like you didn't actually coin the term "covert psychological murder."
ReplyDeleteAttachment, Intimacy, Autonomy: Using Attachment Theory in ...
https://books.google.ca/books?isbn=1568218729
Jeremy Holmes - 1996 - Psychology
As Bowlby (1988) pointed out, this covert psychological murder is highly dangerous if it remains unacknowledged, a death waiting to be enacted. As Winnicott .