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THE SILENT PARTNER
AND THE SILENT MAJORITY
"Take sides.
Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the oppressed. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the
tormented"......Elie
Weisel
The Silent Partner is any relative who
stands by silently while you are victimized, or who takes the abuser's side
against the victim. She, or he, is
usually the other parent, who abdicates his parental responsibility to protect
his children, or, worse yet, sacrifices his children to the abuser(s) in order
to make his own life easier.
In most cases of birth-family abuse, there
is usually not just one single Silent Partner.
Several, if not many, family members collude with, protect, and
cooperate with the abuser, and participate in scape-goating, pressuring,
ostracizing, or trying to silence the victim.
I will refer to these evil participants in our abuse as the Silent
Majority, although that term requires a bit of clarification. In many instances they are far from
silent. Although they might be silent
about the actual abuse inflicted upon us, they can be quite vehement in
insisting that the victim is wrong for not continuing to accept it.
While encouraging an abuser to operate
freely in their midst, they will not be silent when it comes to criticizing the
victim. They will look the other way
when the victim is being mistreated, never validating her or defending her, and
then attack her when she defends herself.
The one that they gossip about, smear to others, judge, and condemn will
invariably be the victim rather than the abuser. In their sick, evil, twisted minds, it is the
long-suffering victim who is the family “trouble-maker”, never the abuser
herself. They don’t ever believe
there’s anything wrong with her. They
don’t see a problem with her behavior.
Why? It’s simple. Because birds
of a feather stick together.
In our Lord-Of-The-Flies birth-families,
the Silent Partner and The Silent Majority don’t bat an eye at betraying an
innocent family member who loves them, and serving her up on a silver platter
to be sacrificed to vicious, lifelong abuse.
They specialize in re-victimizing the victim. Although not as open and obvious about it as
the “Alpha Dog” abuser, they are every bit as guilty as she is. By either their silence, or their speaking up
against the wrong person, they allow and encourage the abuse to continue. They
are PARTNERS with the abuser. They are
abusers, too, and it’s time we give them the credit for it.