Tuesday, 25 July 2017

The Malignant Narcissist As Character Assassin

If you have been targeted by a malignant narcissist for serious abuse, be aware that the abuse includes character assassination – the annihilation of who you are as a person. Just as through murder a careful criminal leaves no witnesses, a malignant narcissist is careful to abuse on the sly and destroy the victim’s credibility in advance in order to “leave no witnesses.” Character assassination is the premeditated murder of the target’s image, their good name, their reputation and ultimately their life.   

It takes extreme treachery to replace an authentic self with a false image of that person, and who is better skilled to do that than a sneaky malignant narcissist. Take a look at their lives; who they appear to be and who they really are. They don’t connect with reality. They live in a fictitious world of smoke and mirrors where appearances are all that matter. Narcissists only identify with their false image and they expect you to identify with the false image they invent of you. They NEED you to appear to the world the way they NEED you to be. It's your life according to the narcissist's script.
Narcissists try to make you be what they say you are because, like a psychopath, they view you as an object, not as a human person with perceptions and a mind of your own. They view you as an extension of themselves (like a tool) to control. It is the moral equivalent of control a rapist thinks he has over the body of another, whom he views as but an object, and extension of himself, an executioner of his will. Psychologists call this bizarre behavior “projective identification,” a defense mechanism. The narcissist wants you to identify with the image he projects on you. You are a mirror to reflect his fantasy, so he pressures you to behave as though it is real.
Kathy Krajco “What Makes Narcissists Tick”
Okay… So there’s that. We are nothing but objects that the malignant narcissist feels entitled to use, abuse and exploit as they please. MNs use manipulation and control tactics such as lies, slander, projection, blame-shifting, victim playing, and triangulation etc. to create a false image of their target which is always about garnering attention for themselves in the form of sympathy and positive regard while reducing and degrading their victim into oblivion. AND, they have motive. They are very invested in the way the target behaves because they have something at stake: the life of a malignant narcissist is a crime in progress, and as a result, they are continually engaged in a cover-up.

The key word here is “behaves.” Malignant narcissists don’t care what the target thinks or how they feel or who they really are. ALL people are just objects to the narcissist. The malignant narcissist only cares what the target thinks and feels insofar as it affects their behavior. And they will do whatever it takes to pressure the target into behaving according to their script. This makes malignant narcissists long-term plotters and provocateurs. MNs are unrelenting in their use of malicious provocations to get their victim to re-“act” in a way that supports their twisted narrative. “See? What did I tell ya about her outbursts?! I told ya she’s unstable!”

The victim is merely reacting to abuse. Being targeted by a malignant narcissist is a real life combat situation and victims of character assassination respond appropriately given the constant threats, the terror, the mounting pressure and the injustices. The malignant narcissist has waged war on the target. The malignant narcissist is maliciously interfering in the target’s life and relationships. The malignant narcissist is hell-bent on getting rid of the target by any means possible, no matter how outrageous, cruel, nasty, or heartless. The malignant narcissist is essentially cornering her prey, so that the prey will growl back and the malignant narcissist can play the “worried” and “concerned” victim.

The narcissist must always finger point and make a show of worry and concern, no matter how contradictory, because she’s a big spoiled baby who needs lots of attention. Plus she can use fake concern, a putrid form a slander, to stick labels on her victim. This type of premeditated tattletale shit starts early for the malignant narcissist; that’s why they are so skilled at it. They are the brother or sister from hell who always got their siblings into trouble for the crimes they committed. They are original bad seed. Of course the ignorant and the naïve, fellow bullies and the copycat abusers who enjoy a juicy 'tale' don’t want to hear what’s really going on behind the curtain. These idiots prefer to suspend their disbelief and play pretend with the narcissist and even participate in her scripted reality show by letting the narcissist stick her hand up their asses and puppeteer their every move. What these fools, thugs, imbeciles need to be schooled in is this:

The malignant narcissist has the mentality of a rapist – the plan is to violate and dirty-up the victim so the narcissist can pretend that they are virtuous and clean. And like a physical rapist who attacks in the dark when there are no witnesses; the malignant narcissist carries-out violent psychological attacks on the sly. The target, being the victim of the crimes, is an expert witness of the narcissist’s criminal behavior. And the narcissist perpetrator’s greatest fear is a credible witness = exposure. So, just as a rapist may use control tactics such as choking and muzzling and threatening the victim with a deadly weapon to stop her from crying out for help; the narcissist abuser does the same. The malignant narcissist is a sniper who uses her assault weapon mouth to covertly tear down and silence the target by destroying her credibility in advance.

Keep in mind that malignant narcissists will never go on the defensive – that would be beneath such a superior being. So, in order to maintain their delusions of invincibility and their offensive posture, the narcissist must force their victim into a defensive position. Any whiff of the target speaking out about their abuses drives them to make a preemptive strike to throw the victim on the defensive. The premeditated and opportunistic exploitation of people, sometimes within the legal system, to maliciously smear and damage the character/identity of the target while silencing her voice, via monitoring, intimidation, threats and other forms of psychological abuse is an example of the rock bottom the malignant narcissist will sink to in order to maintain control over her victim.  Remember: malignant narcissists are predatory and predators stalks and attack their prey first. These freaks are covert aggressives that must always remain in the dominant position. No matter what. That means getting rid of the whistleblower so they can get their way. 

Character assassination is the narcissist’s method of taking a hit out on the target – it’s social murder and apparently it’s legal. The idea is to reduce the target to such a lowly position that it prevents the target from reporting the narcissist's crimes to the authorities. Stops the target from being taken seriously by the authorities. Stops the target from taking the stand and testifying. The target is the most credible character witness of the vile malignant narcissist and they know it, so they retaliate with a vengeance aggressively vandalizing the target’s image. Character assassination is punishment for unmasking the malignant narcissist and breaking the "no talk" rule. It’s about condemning the target to a life in prison for the crimes the narcissist commits. Character assassination is about scapegoating and projecting onto the target, so the target ends-up with the reputation and the life the malignant narcissist deserves. Character assassination is about DESTROYING the evidence; the trustworthiness of their most damning witness.

Ignominy is terrible, a fate worse than death. But at least if a person deserves his bad name, his sense of justice isn’t outraged on top of it all. If you’ve ever been accused of something you didn’t do, then you know what I mean: it goes right through you.
Imagine the situation: there’s an ugly false image of you out there that the whole world thinks is you. They relate to it as you. The world treats you like you are that. So, it might as well BE you. If that isn’t a descent into hell, I can’t imagine what is. It’s intolerable.
The precious image that you have of yourself is under unrelenting attack from all sides. In effect, the whole world is gaslighting you. You have a problem very similar to a narcissist’s, except that your false image sucks and you don’t want it to replace your true self. So you cling to it for dear life. It’s you against the world. Six billion people say that is you, and you alone say the person you know inside is you. Something’s gotta give.
His fate is intolerable because the one who stole his reputation is also the one the bad reputation belongs to: that just cannot be accepted.
It cannot be forgiven either not without restitution of what was stolen = his good name. The crime is in progress until he gets it back, because every day he suffers additional damages.
 “What Makes Narcissists Tick” page 244.
If going no contact is akin to placing yourself in the witness protection program, then what I’ve experienced is like being framed for a crime I didn’t commit, going to prison, breaking out and being hunted with a target on my back. The malignant narcissists will stop at nothing to make their target (me) take the fall. Just as a criminal doesn’t want to do hard time, the malignant narcissist doesn’t want to face the hardcore reality of who they are. As a result, the fugitive of a MN cult is subjected to the same threat as any defector who escapes with a suitcase full of sensitive inside information that could bring down the regime.  

Character assassination, smear campaigns, scapegoating and vandalizing the target’s image are tactics used by the malignant narcissist to avoid public shame of the truth. The malignant narcissist is terrified of having their freedom taken away – their freedom to abuse and exploit others whenever the hell they want. They are complete frauds and they are absolutely terrified of exposure.

Why are they so scared? Because malignant narcissists are rotten to the core; that’s their deep, dark secret. And if their dirty little secret was revealed, they would be abandoned for being such deviants. And as much as narcissists hate humanity; they desperately need and rely on humanity to abuse, exploit, manipulate, con, control, disempower and scapegoat so that they can feel superior. And feeling superior is the name of the game. If they were forced to acknowledge their debts and dependencies on others (even if their debts and dependencies are through maltreatment) they would no longer appear superior. The malignant narcissist would be completely humiliated if others knew their limitations – that in order to feel good and appear good, they must make others feel bad and look bad.  That’s a pretty pathetic existence. Not only that, they would likely be punished for exploiting others opportunistically. So, malignant narcissists cover their tracks, by becoming cunning and devious, concealing their true motives and actions as much as possible. This is where character assassination comes in because there is always at least one discerning individual who can see that the emperor is wearing no clothes!

When the net is closing in on the narcissist and there is a very real threat of being outwitted or exposed, the narcissist relies on their ability to project a synthetic image more than ever. At this stage, narcissists become completely deceptive and extremely treacherous in an attempt to sustain whatever dishonesty they are guilty of while not appearing to be dishonest.

If you have been on the receiving end of a malignant narcissist post-abuse cover-up/character assassination then you know this can create terrifyingly bizarre scenes that make you wonder if you are living a nightmare.  In fact, things can become so strange and surreal that if you were to try and explain what the narcissist just pulled-off, people would think you are tripping on psychedelic drugs. This is where I have to hand it to those crazy evil fucks; they create scenarios that are so inexplicable their victims are left tongue-tied. Malignant Narcissists will do whatever, and I mean whatever it takes to cover their tracks - including, inflicting MORE abuse onto the victim. In fact, the narcissist's post-abuse cover-up is always more destructive than the original crime. 

Character assassination assails with asymmetrical attacks that deny the target any chance to defend himself. In other words, it’s moral mayhem because the victim is disabled somehow and therefore unable to defend himself.
Mayhem is the crime that denies people the most basic human right – the right to a defense. The character assassin pulls this off by attacking so as to have his unanswered say. The victim knows he’s being destroyed but can do nothing about it because he is being prevented from confronting his accuser.
Character assassins get their unanswered say by accusing you behind your back. If you try to defend yourself by going to people and raising the subject, you risk spreading lies about yourself. It’s a Catch-22. In fact people will get mad at you for trying to talk about it. They will do whatever it takes to alienate you so you stay away. They will act like YOU are the vicious character assassin, condemning anything you do to try and defend yourself. It’s a Catch-22. Thus they revictimize you by denying you any chance to defend yourself.
“What Makes Narcissists Tick” page 246-247.

Who would believe a “sister” and “mother” would call the police and accuse their victim of doing to them the exact thing they are in the process of doing to her? Who would believe a sister would lie to police and state her innocent sister is “psychotic” and “dangerous” just to avoid the embarrassment of being outed a cyberstalker? Who would believe a sister would lie outrageously to authorities and destroy her innocent sister's reputation just to punish her for breaking the "NO TALK" rule of the MN asylum? Who would believe that protesting the malignant narcissist’s viciousness, abuse and lies would drive the malignant narcissist cult to even more extreme acts of brutality to disempower and silence the victim? For example, the MN gains access to her sister’s bank account and cleans it out so she has no money and is forced to endure severe financial stress, and that’s piled onto the stress of her trying to obtain employment with a massive road block the malignant narcissist intentionally laid with her calculated slander; slander that was also spread to the victim’s neighbors that resulted in the victim’s home environment being unsafe which forced her to have to pack-up and move. That’s an example of how malignant narcissists use the weight of mounting pressure to try and break the victim’s back. It’s called mental cruelty and the intentional infliction of emotional distress and it's designed to kill, or, at the very least, render the victim neutralized and too mentally and physically weak to fight back. 

The severity of the malignant narcissist’s crime is of no significance to the MN. Whether they get caught lying to police or snooping through your sock drawer, the gaslighting and cruelties they inflict to try and silence the witness never match the crimes they are in the process of covering-up. In the malignant narcissist’s eyes, the victim is expendable. For example, the malignant narcissist mother doesn’t give a damn if she destroys her daughter’s life to the point where she ends up destitute and living on the streets, just as long as people never “believe” what the daughter says about her being a bad mother. See what I’m saying? Their maliciousness reaches delusional proportions as they become obsessed with protecting their false image and ruining the victim so they can remain superior and triumphant. It's very important for the malignant narcissist to WIN at all costs.    
Character assassination destroys careers, marriages, and relationships, isolating the victim “to the desert” of humankind. Except for the fortunate who have independent means, it’s usually a trip down Skid Row, with one ramification after another barring every way out and relentlessly crushing and hammering the victim into ---- guess what? Exactly what their assassin says they are. This is where rag pickers and bag ladies and suicides come from. The victim will ask why he bothered to be a good person when what a person is isn’t up to him --- when it’s up to whatever others choose to make of him.
“What Makes Narcissists Tick” page 246.
The malignant narcissist degrades and humiliates others, trashes good names, tarnishes virtues, maligns strong character and ruins reputations because there is a huge pay off for them - getting their way and getting away with it. They will stop at nothing to obstruct the whistleblower from outing their morally repugnant, debauched, and parasitic existence. 

Bottom Line:  If you cannot drop off the grid, go into the no contact witness protection program or lay low then the malignant narcissist better fear you, or you better have some kind of power. Because if you decide to fight back, clear your name and expose the narcissist cult then you can expect unyielding pushback and merciless attacks and invasions from all sides: finances, career, livelihood, home environment, relationships, reputation, privacy, freedoms and rights. Malignant narcissists want the kind of power over others that we humans have over cattle. They want to capture us, brand us and hold us captive while they feed on our pain. Their sadism is unrelenting and it often ends in marginalizing and stigmatizing the victim for life. That is, if the victim makes it. When the world piles on with their abusers, it often breaks the victim’s back and permanent damage is done.   

For those of you who aren’t convinced of the malignant narcissist’s wrath when it comes to loss of control over their target and consequently their false image; you might want to ask the question “How exactly did Kathy Krajco die?”

Kathy Krajco, ACON blogger and author of “What Makes Narcissists Tick” (blog and book) wrote under her real name, and she wrote extensively about her abusive malignant narcissist father and sister. Kathy’s mother died in 1992, and her father died in 2004. So by the time she was blogging about malignant narcissism both her parents had passed away.

According to Kathy’s blog her sister Terese was gainfully employed as a teacher, but lived at home with her parents her entire life. From what I gather, she mooched off her parents while hoarding her own money and even ended up manipulating the MN father into disinheriting Kathy. Kathy was also a teacher and I suspect she was a target of a career smear campaign orchestrated by Terese. Throughout Kathy’s blog and book there are numerous accounts of Terese’s bullying and abuse. For example, Kathy had a heart condition and one day Terese, who lived across the street, hired a snow plow guy to block Kathy’s driveway with snow. This meant that Kathy would have to go out and shovel in order to get her car out of the driveway. It would appear that Terese wanted to induce a heart attack in Kathy. Only a malignant narcissist could dream-up a scheme like that.

Kathy died unexpectedly in her home on May 9, 2008. She was 56 years old. Her sister Terese was the one who discovered her body. After Kathy died, her blog started being mysteriously dismantled. The only way that could happen is if someone had access to it. I know from experience, that I can leave my blog sitting around dormant for months without it being tampered.

When I read online that Kathy had died, I cried. It was a huge loss to the ACON blogging community. And for years it bothered me that this brave woman who championed for the victims of narcissistic abuse was taken from this world, while an evil malignant narcissist (her sister) lived on.

Anna V of Narcissists Suck blog ordered Kathy’s death certificate to find out the Cause of Death. There didn’t appear to be anything suspicious in the report. Apparently Kathy died of natural causes – her heart may have given out.

Despite this information, there had always been a part of me that was left speculating whether or not Kathy’s sister played a hand in her death. Perhaps it’s because through experience I have become painfully that a malignant narcissist is capable of doing almost anything to the person who breaks the “no talk” rule. I have witnessed how out of control a malignant narcissist can become when they lose even an inch of control over their target and their precious image.

A couple of months ago my curiosity got the better of me and I read Kathy’s online obituary and Googled her sister’s name. What I discovered is this: Terese Krajco retired from teaching in 2012, and died in her home 5 years to the day that her sister Kathy died. I find it significant that Terese Krajco died on the anniversary of Kathy’s death.

Unlike Kathy’s obit that stated she died “unexpectedly,” Terese Krajco’s obit simply said she died alone at home on May 9, 2013 at the age of 59.

Is the date of Terese Krajco’s death a coincidence or an indication of a disturbed personality carrying out a ritualistic act to steal one last thing from her sister of which she was so irrationally envious? Did Terese assassinate Kathy? Did repressed guilt and shame finally surface to the conscience of a malignant narcissist and prompt her to off herself? Or, was she just fresh out of narc supply and saw no reason to carry on?

I don’t know, but I know this about character assassination:
When you destroy someone’s image, their good name, you ruin a life. In fact, you take a life. For, that person’s real life goes up in smoke. There is no worse thing you can do to a person. It would be less cruel to kill him with a gun. This is the fate worse than death, and everyone’s deepest, darkest fear.  
----- Kathy Krajco
And experience has also taught me this: Malignant narcissists want to snuff out the fight in us and win. So NEVER allow the malignant narcissist’s outrageous lies to throw you on the defensive. Instead, ALWAYS point the accusing finger back at them with the truth. They hate knowing their victim is still swinging and they hate the thought of losing. To the malignant narcissist, EXPOSURE is a fate worse than death, and their deepest, darkest fear.

This is the second edition of "Malignant Narcissist As Character Assassin." The original article was  posted on my blog in 2014 and is included in the collection of essays in my eBook and print book:

For more information on this topic read this excellent article by ACON Blogger Gail Myers The Narcissist's Smear Campaign: Gossip, Lies and Slander.

This is a fantastic article by ACON Blogger Sweet Violet on the evil of malignant narcissism The Smallness of Evil.


  1. Hi Liestte,
    I love this post. I could read it 100 times and it would inspire me each and every time. In fact, I just may read it 100 times! Good people can be destroyed by a smear campaign. Unfortunately, all too often, the good person has no idea that others are giving them sideways looks and being evasive, or why. It's because the N has an agenda to maliciously smear them. Scapegoats usually find out too late, once real, irreparable damage to their character has been done. I was one of those who didn't know what was being done until it was too late. Searching my mind for what I could have possibly done to deserve being 'iced-out' or shunned so I could work on being a better person, while helpful, didn't really fix anything. Until I read House of Mirrors, I didn't know about the twisted motivations of the NPD person. That's why your work inspires me. I can go on being a good person without so much self-blame, but instead WITH AWARENESS. Thanks. And thanks for the space to say this. - I Tried

    1. I Tried,
      It's great to hear that the information on HOM has given you the necessary awareness to move forward without self-blame. Thank you for letting me know!

      These narcs don't want us to have any awareness of their devious and underhanded interference in our relationships. It's the gaslight effect. Slowly, but surely, other's minds get poisoned and so do our relationships. Eventually it becomes safer to stay away than deal with a person who views us through the distorted lens of the narcissist.

      Narcissists seem to have 2 kind of relationships. 1.) a mutually parasitic relationship with another PD. 2.) with those they can exploit and control. So, if you're dealing with someone who is in lock-step with a narcissist then you are dealing with another troublemaker or someone who is weak minded and malleable. You're right about scapegoats finding out about the smear campaign too late. As far as close relationships go, once person #2 is compromised there is little one can do to change their mind. Also, those of us who become a target of the narcissist are usually a threat to them in some way - we have minds of our own! That's another thing, these narcs only see the people in their lives as extensions of themselves; they have zero boundaries and have no conception of where they end and the other person begins. I believe it incites narc injury for the narcissist to know that their hostage has relationships and a life outside of them. They must always be the star of everyone's movie. This meddling and interference even extends to the target after years of no contact. That's why it's so important that they have no information about our lives. They will use the information to blow it up.

  2. All my relationships were poisoned by the creeps outside of one. If someone knew my mother, consider it game over. They reacted to her sneers, and brainwashing with full submission. I allowed 4 decades of smear campaigns keeping low contact in the last 20 years before full NC, that took things to a very negative place. This is why I warn about LC. I always wonder how they always believe the narcissists and become so easily compromised.

    1. I think LC is possible with a garden variety narcissist, but extremely dangerous when dealing with a malignant narcissist. NC doesn't even do the trick for the really obsessive ones. If they have one piece of info on us, they will use that to destroy us. We literally have to drop off the grid. It's the predatory stalking of their prey that puts the malignant in malignant narcissist.

  3. It creeps me out how human beings always chose evil.You ever wonder why the Trumps and Kim Jongs of the world rise to the top. I was thinking about that more. They move up smearing others. The halls of power, all are filled with narcissists and sociopaths that have gotten their way squishing people with consciences will-nilly. Some stand up against them the whistleblowers and they are called the crazy ones, while the evil gain even more power and blow more smoke in their eyes.